Life With Sports Bets Only

HI captain, sorry havent been on here for a few days, just seen your reply to my other messages, I don't want to lecture, so please don't take it that way....

The counsellor I have been using has encouraged to use my addictive trait to become addicted at something else, even if it costs me some money to do so, its still a lot less than otherwise.

I also used to use lunch hours as a 'prime' gambling time - crikey even a 20 minutes tea break, when the trip to the bookies was 18 minute round trip, just to 'get that hit' I guess, or somedays it was desperation, blind stupidity that i'd win. Then it made my whole cycle worse and worse, I'd withdraw my £200 daily limit on the bank card, think I don't have much time so just bet big, if I win I win, I'd convince myself that I'd 'only gamble £120' the other £80 would go in another pocket. 6 notes into the roulette machine, 6 spins. the normal pattern was then another £40, another £30, another £10. gone. ATM, credit card withdrawal, £300 notes. bang gone.

Ocassionally, I'd 'win' - probably at points I'd have enough to cover the weeks losses but even If I did cash out, it'd be gone within two days.

the days I'd be 'winning' I'd also find my stakes where at or on the machine limit, 'might as well, one big win and I'm sorted' - three 'big wins later' and I'd be back to square one - the three wins had come with seventeen 'big losses'.

This style of gambling then effected any other gambling I'd do - once I'd raised the odds/stakes and won, nothing else seemed as good. one day I 'won' £180 from a £5 note, which was all I had left. still didn't do anything for me, after all I'd normally gamble more than that each day.

And through all this, I'd struggle to put petrol in my car, I'd not pay bills on time, I'd also chastise myself for spending £3 on my lunch!!!

I've said before and I really do believe I have a long long way to go in my own battle but I do feel good at the moment and I put a lot of that down to my decision to change my mindset. I no longer gamble, I can't, sorry I won't even risk a penny. I'm still spending far more than I should elsewhere, I have debts of over £30k, they were over £40k but I had a good bonus from work so was able to pay off a chunk, currently I'm paying of £1000 a month, which is over half my income. I really should spend anything on myself but if I don't I know I'll relapse, I need distractions, interests, hobbies, part of me even needs to just spend money.

Entirely up to you and each individual how they tackle their own problems but if you can manage to control your gambling and retrict then I'll don my hat to you, I know I can't do it.

really sorry to fill your diary with so much text but Its making me relive my own story once again - which is no bad thing as I feel physically sick again right now.

Take care and best wishes...

Dan

Thanks for the response Dan and no problem re filling up my diary with a lot of text, I really appreciate all the responses I get on here, I get very few these days in comparison to when I first joined the site about 18 months ago.

To simplify my position, when I go through my periods of restricting myself to gambling on advance sports events only I am fine, I dont make money but I dont lose much either and it is a fine hobby and way to spend my spare time.

For reasons of either stress, boredom or not identifying any sports bets up and coming, I indulge in random gambling on anything that moves in a similar way to the pattern you describe. I will hit the bookmakers with say £300, lose it, go and withdraw more from bank, go and withdraw more on credit card etc. and before I know it I have lost a four figure sum in 30 minutes. Madness. Of course there are days I win and turn £300 into £1200 but eventually it goes back. And at the same time I will only buy stuff on offer at the supermarket or clothes that are in a sale (maybe nothing wrong with that approach generally I guess as it proves I do have some sense of the value of money outside of gambling. )

I am continually stuck between forcing myself to admitting to having to stop completely but when I do this ( like for 3 weeks recently ) I become so flat - maybe like you say I need to become addicted to something else.

But I know I can go up to 7 months betting on sports only, I've done it before and a couple of 5 month periods also so I live in hope that I can do that permament.

But regardless, I've come a long way and nothing will now give me a gambling problem at evenings or weekends, only lunchtimes continue to hurt badly.

great post there from dan but i get the feeling we ve been here before captain. . Dan s in control of his debts im managing my debts,seano sorted his as did viggo. . In fact many on this site have managed to sort debts and still abstain for a better lifestyle. . Theres a seriously ill woman on this site who is battling a serious illness yet has managed to control this addiction. . Sorry captain we ve all got problems in life only WE can sort them. . What im trying to say is get your finger oot your a ss stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about your debts !!! How far do you want to go before that rock bottom kicks in because it seems your nowhere near it yet ?? Cmon captain your better than that. .How many times have i told you that ? Sorry but this can be done only if YOU want it to 😉 P.s maybes people dont post anymore because of the same old same old. You haven t exactly gone out your way posting elsewhere. .Maybe something else to look into. .People will respond and be lifted by posts. .I know i did and still do 🙂 you can do it captain !!

Hi Cap'n, I'm new to all this forum & diary stuff but I can relate to what you have been saying recently. In the past if I have totally refrained from gambling,then I go back with a vengeance, and feel justified in losing what I would have lost in my period of not gambling. I've tried having bets on Saturday only which worked for a while, but the introduction of the FOBT's done it for me.

I know and love football, so I think I can gain an enjoyment out of gambling on football, but the temptations that are thrown at you in the form of the FOBT's to me is evil, cartoon racing online & in the bookies is evil, but this is the element we can't control which is why I'm trying to stop all forms of gambling. The bookies have introduced elements of gambling which has spoilt the parts that I love. I actually feel a bit bitter about this, which is fuelling my determination.

I haven't got any answers for you I'm afraid, I've got enough problems dealing with my own demons, but I wish you all the best in your constant struggles.

Hi Captain, not heard from you for a while, hope you're doing ok. You've been on these pages for a while now, and whilst you have had a few slips, there is a determination there somewhere to control what you are doing. This does help other people, it certainly gives me hope that I can control my urges, wether that is through total abstinence or not, I'm not totally sure.

Wish you all the best in your battle to conquer this.

I havent been on for a couple of weeks, not doing very well to be honest. Paul, thanks for post.

I am seeing young guys at work get involved in gambling for the first time and celebrating minor wins and can remember when I was young and innocent and could bet without any problems and consequences. I really hope for their sake they dont become problem gamblers like me. I dont feel I can advise them at all, in fact they dont even know I gamble!

I am struggling quite badly just now as I always do at this time of year.

I appreciate previous comments saying that my posts are just 'same old story' and I know I am going through a repetitive cycle to some extent but I believe ( I have to believe ) that I am getting better slowly but surely. I cant bring myself to take the plunge and do self exclusion even although that would be a certain way of eliminating loss. I still cling on to hope of being able to stay focused and stay in control. No matter how many bad days I have and how much money I lose on silly things, I simply cant see a life for myself that doesnt involve advance sports bets.

All I can say is that the random episodes are less frequent than they have ever been and my general well being and determination are better than in previous years.

Thankful as always for any feedback and any tips on speeding up this recovery process to totally eliminate the random episodes.

Also hoping to hear from someone that it IS possible to go from being a compulsive gambler to being a 'normal' gambler.

In my opinion you could only become a "normal" gambler again if/when you could do without gambling in your life, you have a take it or leave it attitude to gambling and can live quite happily without gambling. And certainly not while it is the be all and end all of your life and you think you can't live without it!! That in itself is not "normal"

It's only gambling for goodness sake and not life itself!

Lili x

Hi captain, nice of you to pop in with your posts. You've had all the advice in the world on this site, but I know you're determined to deal with it in your way. Glad you are making progress(in your own way), and hope it continues.

I know when the football season starts I'll be gambling again, I've posted today that it will be Saturdays only, sound familiar?

But I've got to go through this stage like everybody else has.

Look forward to hearing about your hopefully, continued personal progress.

Paul

Thanks Paul and Lili for posts, appreciated. Paul I have posted on your diary.

Lili - for a compulsive gambler, gambling IS life itself and nothing else matters, you must know that !

Well I'm back at Day 1 and I wont gamble on anything today, lets see how far I can get this time.

Hi Captain

I've read through your whole thread. It's very interesting and the argument for controlled gambling sounds very attractive. Problem is I doubt there's many, if any, out there who can honestly say, hand on heart, that they can actually do it. There's plenty of replies on your thread confirming this.

There's only one thing you can do and that's self-exclude.

You admitted that you can't be a controlled gambler so what is the alternative ? We all want to leave a little avenue open so that we can satisfy gambling urges but if gambling has brought you to your knees you must self exclude and try to close the opportunities.

You know that's the only way....

Captain,

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. (Einstein)

Brian

1000 days / Brian,

Thanks for posts, cant argue with either of you, I know self exclusion is the obvious solution but although I dont want to do any out of control sessions, cant bear the thought of not betting on football again.

Brian - I know I need to break the cycle and I am working on best way of doing that, one day at a time. I have blocks in place to ensure no gambling for the rest of this week, take it from there.

Thanks for the post Captain.

In a strange way i think my gambling has lost me a house albeit in reverse! I know for sure that the money i have lost gambling over the years would have bought a nice little house but hey ho.

I'd love to return to having the odd bet here and there but i think it would just result in me getting back into trouble soon enough. I know that once i had no wages left to bet with i would be going back to using my flexible friend.

I do not believe that a compulsive gambler can revert to gambling in a controlled manner. I hope for your sake that you can prove me wrong!

All the best.

hi captain,

I think your ultimate aim is a fascinating concept, I remember the first time I saw your diary title, I thought it was 'ridiculous' or something along those lines, that was however very early on in my use of this website....

I think now I'd still echo Curly's post, but with both my initial thoughts on your title and in agreeing with Curly, I'm purely basing that on me...

I'm 100% certain that I will never be able to place another bet, without an 'odds-on' certainty that I would have a blow out. Slowly but surely I'm trying to leave my gambling past behind me. There are two things I really want to buy right now (apart from a house, which is my ultimate dream) one would cost around £800-£900 and the other, maybe £3,000. I mentioned it to my wife earlier, her response was, well yeah of course, with the wages we earn together, you could easily afford to buy both of those...

...if you hadn't left us in over £30,000 of debt.

I don't even want to give another bookmaker one more pound of my money, even on a 'fun' bet. which is how I always saw a football bet. Every pound I gave to them, well again as Curly said, I could have had a house now, probably mortgage free, I landed up with £41k of debt, plus no money to show for 14 years of work, so at an average of £10k a year, that would mean I'vegambled my way through £181k - not including any 'winnings' that were given straight back.

If you really can control your gambling again then all respect to you, I just think your spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder, wondering where the next slip will come from.

apologies for rambling, I hope some of it makes sense and best wishes to you

regards

dan

Thanks for post Dan and I hear what you say and it makes sense. Money is all relative to earnings but I have 200k of debt and have gambled and lost over half a million over 25 years. As my income has increased, so has the size of my bets. I remember years ago gulping at my first 50 pound bet and s******g myself in case it lost. Nowadays I can't remember the last time I had a bet of anything less than 100 even on virtual racing. I have totally lost concept of the value of money but need to get it back along with a lot of other lost values in my life.

I could have had a mortgage free house and been set up for life but you can't turn the clock back.

I didn't gamble yesterday and I am at work today with no cards or cash so won't gamble today.

I have hoped before but I hope again that this is a turning point.

I will get on with my life and try and focus on just working and repaying some debt.

But I'd rather be gambling.