Living Again!

Phil - so lovely to read your new Diary, and long may it flourish. Whatever regrets you may have about past losses, what you have gained from this site is immeasurable: friendship, loyalty and a great deal of respect.

You have come through these past weeks with head held high, so onwards and upwards!

Yours in admiration,

Joanna x

Hi Phil

Very strong and determined post I wish you well on your continuing journey

Best wishes Suzanne x

Thanks for the kind words Joanna and Suzanne, its refreshing to be part of such a supportive group of people.

Its a gorgeous Saturday and a rare Saturday off work for me which is great! Been out this morning and now I am home and chilling out with a fridge full of beers and absolutely spoilt for choice with all this amazing sport on tv. Currently got Saints on tv and the World Cup on my laptop.

I feel good today because I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I have had such a bad time lately with debts getting me down. I kept thinking I had sorted things out and then another debt would appear (my own fault as when I was gambling I would deal with my problems by putting them to one side and pretending they don't exist). Anyway I have had a real good think and I really think everything is sorted and by the end of the year I should be debt free. It does get me down paying out so much every month, but I'm on the right path and once my debts are paid the world is my oyster.

I have really enjoyed the World Cup so far. Its refreshing to watch a game for enjoyments sake, rather than thinking I need to place a bet on it, which as well as costing me money would usually spoil my enjoyment. This new life is so much better than my old one and I am not going back to it. I will be cheering on Costa Rica later on and hoping England pull off a surprise at 11!

No bets for me today!!!!

Just a quick post today as I have work shortly. Its 180 days without a bet and the 200 is getting close. I would have never thought this was possible this time last year when I was in an incredible mess because of gambling!

The lovely people at a gambling company have sent me an email saying free credit has been added to my account. These people have a large tv advertising campaign right now which emphasise how they encourage responsible gambling! I'm self excluded from their shops and told them to close my account and self exclude that as well. Shows how low they will stoop when they are offering self excluded problem gamblers free credit! Very responsible indeed!

I will also be bombarded with gambling jargon from my work colleague today. It seems you just cant get away from it! I will yet again tell him I am not interested. Hopefully one day soon he will get the message.

Its going to be a long day in work, I can't wait to finish and get home to watch the last match. My hours and shifts get me down even more than usual when things like the World Cup are on.

I feel good today, no bets for me!!!

Hi Phil

I know what you mean about emails and adverts on the telly and radio when driving in the car and everywhere you look walking down the street there is a bookies

I am either deleting emails from gambling sites or PD loans (how they still want me to have a loan beats me)

All I can think is they must be getting desperate cos we are not playing and therefore not spending or borrowing lol (I wished)

180 days is fantastic especially with all this ridiculous advertising for all forms of gambling but you are staying strong and true to you now and making your daily choice which is not to give in and lose by gambling

Very very well bloody done

Suzanne xx

Phil - Many many congratulations on your 180 days - a great achievement.

Hope you are enjoying the footie with a nice cold beer or three.

Joanna x

Day 181 and I really need to have today off work as the Germany V Portugal game is set to be a cracker. Sadly my debts need paying so I have no choice but to work. I am however going to book some holidays over the next three weeks for the bigger games. I am quite lucky as I have not used many holidays this year, I was saving them to go away, but my finances won't allow that till next year.

My mind is clear, I won't slip up and I won't let people distract my thoughts. I am a problem gambler and I can't ever gamble again! Before I joined this site I used to feel I was alone. However when I joined here and read through other diaries it showed me that there were people who had suffered like me but were beating this and it gave me hope. Recently when I have felt low or had gambling thoughts I have started to read the friends and family page on here. When I read partners or parents of gamblers on there I can relate to so much as it often sounds like they are describing the old me and I don't want to be that person again.

This bombardment of gambling adverts really is creating a huge problem. I see so many lads in work who never used to gamble that are now always on their phones putting bets on. They are not like me, they don't lose a months wage in a day and they could be classed as social gamblers. However to me they are problem gamblers. It may appear a few five pound bets on the football is just a bit of fun but it started off once a week on a Saturday and now some of them are doing it every day. There is a fine line between responsible or social gambling and problem gambling. I think as the ad campaigns keep growing these companies will damage more and more people.

I will not be gambling today, they can send me texts, emails, Twitter messages, tv ads and Facebook messages, but I will not be beat!

Hi Phil - Congratulations on your 182 days!

Wise words from you about gambling ads and also the worrying observation about people getting hooked - a ticking time-bomb if ever there was. There is a definite case for banning gambling ads, just as cigarette ads were extinguished. As we all know, gambling can be dangerous to health as any other addiction, and as you have said - from reading about the heartaches on 'Friends & Family' there is such a thing as 'passive gambling' when you think of the harm it does to other family members, especially children.

All the best,

Joanna

Thanks Joanna, its been a good start to my journey but I have a long way to go. Gambling has destroyed me and its a slow process to repair myself and my life. But day by day things are getting better and I have to continue, I can't slip up. I have to avoid that first bet as it will make this six months mean nothing!

Had a bad night last night, got home from work to family problems. Nothings ever straight forward, once my finances are sorted I need to look into getting my own place or moving away as things here get me down and the problems won't ever resolve themselves.

RIght off to get sorted for work, looking forward to getting home tonight and watching the Russia V South Korea game. No bets for me today!!!

Sounds like a tough night mate......but when you woke up this morning you were and still are 6 months free!! Absolutely outstanding and delighted that I can share the success with you. Long term friendship mate - at least gambling has given us that!!

Congrats,

Mr B

Hi phil

A massive well done on the 6 months its a fantastic achievement and I know there's been a few ups and downs

Starting a new diary was the right thing to do

Castle2

Thanks for the messages Mr B and Castle.

Just a quick post today as I am in a rush to get off to work. I really could do with tonight off as the Chile V Spain match look set to be a good game. Fortunately I have the next two days off and won't have to miss England destroying Uruguay!

Feeling really positive in lots of ways. Everything is good apart from work really. I only just found out that theres a big race meeting on this week, so its good that these events no longer mean anything to me.

Today I will not be gambling!

Pretty testing day for me today as I found out this morning that my uncle has passed away. When I was younger I moved in with him for a while because my parents were sick of my gambling and he reckoned a change of scenery may do me good. He had an addiction himself (alcohol) and it wasn't easy living with him. Its a shame that he died a lonely man and I guess that's what the future would have held for me had I not stopped gambling. The funeral is Monday and I am not looking forward to it. Funerals bring back bad memories from the past from when I lost my sister and the dark days that followed. I will have a beer in his memory tonight and think of happier times when we would play golf together many years ago, days when I didn't have my problem and he didn't drink as heavily!

I was supposed to be out tonight to watch the game but my mate is skint (because he's gambled all his wages). So I'm at home watching it and after todays news I'm not really up for a wild night out anyway.

I guess one positive for today is that I walked into the living room today and my dad had left Royal Ascot on the telly and a copy of the racing paper open on the coffee table and it didn't bother me. I turned the tv off and ignored the paper.

No bets for me today!!! Come on England!!!

Hi Phil

Sorry to read about the sad loss of your uncle

I wish you all the best in staying strong

At this unhappy time

Try and stay positive

Suzanne x