Living Again!

Hi Phil

Watched the doc what we humans can go through to get what we want but as we know it always falls flat on our face in the end

Yes the debts are depressing but they are going down not up as long as we remain strong and determined to live in the real world and that can't be bad can it

Keep strong and determined you are going great

Suzanne x x

Back home from my trip and have to say I slipped up on the drinking and eating front! We were taken out for dinner and drinks were on the company so I couldn't say no. But now I'm back I will get right back into my health kick. Was nice to have a couple of nights away and meet a load of new people.

I'm back in work tomorrow and Saturday and then have 8 days off work which I am really looking forward to.

Thanks for the messages Joanna and Suzanne, nice to get your support. I am not thinking about gambling at all at the moment! I am determined to plod on a day at a time beating this!

I have the next 8 days off work which is good and I'm meant to be at the Open golf everyday. However lads in work know I'm going and loads have asked me to meet them there as a fair few are going on different day. Its left me with a bit of a dilemma because my finances are seriously stretched and if I meet them they will want to go for drinks etc..... Its really annoying because gambling has cost me so many friendships because of the amount of times I let people down because I was skint or picked gambling over a night out. Now I'm not gambling but don't have the funds to socialise so I'm still in that same place. So I have decided to give the golf a miss and sell my ticket because I would rather not go than have to spend my days worrying about who I will bump into and have to make excuses for why I can't socialise during the day or afterwards. Certain people know my situation and I don't mind being honest, but others I would rather not tell about my gambling because its not something I want everyone in work to know about.

I'm annoyed with my situation, but the only way forward is for me to plod on a day at a time without gambling. I have made my life a mess and its not going to be fixed overnight. This time next year life will be a lot brighter for me.

Hi Phil - Shame about the golf, but think you have made a wise choice. It's just not worth the hassle or stress of trying to avoid people and then end up feeling bad about things.

At least you will be saving some money, and as you say, there's always next year to look forward to. I hope you still have a good holiday anyway and can find enjoyable (and inexpensive) things to do.

Take care.

Joanna

Hi Phil

Nothing worse than going somewhere and no money to spend like everyone else around

Like Joanna says you will be saving some money and be stress free for your hol,and think about next year when you will have more cash to spend for hol and that's got to be positive

Suzanne xx

Oh my word my blood is boiling as I type this, I won't watch Benefits Britain again, I'm just speechless!

Thanks Suzanne and Joanna, I am seriously bored today and gutted to be missing the golf. I've sold my ticket and am keeping my eye on a few sites just incase anyone's selling one on the cheap and then I can use what I have left for socialising but so far nobody is selling any on the cheap. My mum is really annoyed with me and offered to lend me whatever I needed so I could go, but I need to be paying my debts not accruing more. I need to really focus these next few days and remember why I am in this mess and make sure I never go back to that place. Bring on payday because I will have far more this payday than I did on the last.

A few years ago I was considering a trip to Scotland for the Open and thought I would roll the dice and go have a bet to see if my luck was in. I won and arranged to go up to Carnoustie with my mate. The old me would have definitely rolled the dice and tried to win enough extra cash for the week, so I have definitely turned the corner. The instinctive thing of one bet to solve my problems doesn't come to mind anymore. The fact is I could win 10k tomorrow and it would be all gone the day after.

So miserable week ahead, but no bets for me and a better August coming up!

Phil - there's a free competition on the Daily Telegraph promotions page for a trip to next year's open at St Andrews. I've just entered - dead easy - you just have to vote for your favourite picture from past tournaments.

Some nice moments recorded.

All the best,

Joanna

Thanks for that Joanna, I will enter. Things took a turn for me and after selling my ticket I got a bit of luck and got some cheaper tickets and have been everyday since Tuesday. Which is why I have been so quiet as I have been doing twelve hours of golf a day and then heading home to bed. Apart from today the weather has been brilliant and the golf has been out of this world. I was on the 18th for Rorys superb eagle to go six shots clear today and I am going to be on 18 all day tomorrow to ensure I have a seat to see the champion get the trophy. Had no thoughts about betting, I have been to a few Opens in the past and this is the first when I have not had a bet on it.

Hi Phil

Nice things do happen when we don't expect them

Especially when we are gambling free

Enjoy tomorrow

Suzanne x

Thanks for yet more kind words Suzanne 🙂

Long day ahead of me today, got to go into work early to do more computer training, so I will be in 12 hours today. However had some good news last night, my boss has offered me a new shift. I absolutely hate working four days on two days off as it means I am rarely off on a weekend. It prevents me from having a social life and I miss going to the rugby and the football every week. However from August I am now working Sunday to Thursday, so I get every Friday and Saturday off! I'm made up that I can have a more normal life.

Now I need to get moving and get ready for work, no bets for me today!!!

The last few days has been a blur, work has been so busy adapting to this new computer system and very frustrating indeed. Today is my day off and its nice to chill out after doing so many long shifts. Fortunately the Commonwealth games is on so I will enjoy watching some of that. There is also an event on in Liverpool with a couple of giants walking around the city centre and I plan to get over tomorrow afternoon. Last time it was on hundreds of thousands went to watch and I regretted not going as it looked good.

Gambling wise I have done well to go so long, but I don't feel I'm progressing as well as I would like. I can feel that the gambling urge is still there, I can cope going out tomorrow with money in my pocket and avoiding a bookies, but if I ever had a large amount of money in my pocket I think I may be tempted. I know this is addressed by not handling large amounts of money, but I would love to reach a point where this wouldn't be a problem.

I sure don't make life easy for myself, I put myself in a really stupid position last night, totally unrelated to gambling. I need to be more sensible in future as my actions don't do me any favours.

Sadly I'm back in work today and dreading another long day on the new computer system.

Anyway on the positive side its another day without gambling!

Hi Phil - Have just been catching up with your Diary - busy week just gone for me so haven't had much time to post. Glad you got to the Open eventually - bit disappointed that Justin Rose didn't win.....

Sorry to read that things went a bit haywire over the weekend, but hopefully no serious harm done and great that you are still keeping gambling at more than arm's length!

Hope work goes better tomorrow and that you can *** the new system.

Take care,

Joanna

Hi Phil

Well done on abstaining and maintaining

Stay strong and safe

Suzanne xx

My last day in work today and then two off, sadly my new rota doesn't kick in till the middle of August. Its been a tough week, payday comes and goes and whilst its good I'm not blowing it all in a bookies the reality is I'm still struggling due to repaying my debts. I want a good holiday amongst other things. I try to cheer myself up by thinking that the thousand a month I'm spending on debt repayments will take me away somewhere good once I have paid everything off!

I also need to get my b**t in gear because the week at the golf and the beers that followed has taken me off my detox. I need to get back on track and cut out the junk and get some regular exercise.