Lost the plot...so back.

Again, I can only apologise for this, please don't take this to heart.

After all, it's just another thread.

By the way, day 66 is brilliant. Keep it up, mate!

GT

Thanks so much for the post today it is greatly appreciated. Had a cr** evening yesterday which I guess overflowed into this morning so the glass was certainly half empty. Feeling better now and I know would have been a million times worse if I had a bet. I think it made me realise that 1 bet (win or loss) would put me back to where I was in September, I just can't face back into that again, I think I would lose my sanity.

Sounding like a drama queen, but the last few months have being such an improvement in my own wellbeing compared to the distain I felt for myself while gambling, I must keep positive and focused.

Thanks again, your support is so appreciated.

Anytime!

*67 days, not 66

can't bl00dy count for toffee!!!

just applied online for a new virg credit card, interest-free for 20 months, and apparently I've been approved. hope so - I need to cut down my outgoings, and my cc debt with N West is just paying off the interest.

well done mate on reaching 67 days, hopefully i will reach this point in a few months,

well done again mate

68

No gambling. Worked, then went to see a panto with OH and sprog. Money is tight, but the 2 hours of rapt attention on my 22-month-old boy was priceless.

Just goes to show that there are plenty of other things far more valuable in life than money.

GT

Keep those gamble-free days rolling. I am right behind you in every possible way. Let me know how your get on with your Virgin credit card. I presume you will transfer your gambling debts over from your NatWest credit card. Bear in mind you can also conduct Money Transfers to a current account with Virgin credit cards so perhaps you could also reduce or pay off your loan depending on what limit they grant you. I am hoping to transfer my loan to an interest free credit card later this year. At the moment I cannot as my credit rating is too low.

69

No. Didn't gamble. the chances of me doing it are getting more and more remote. Complacent I'm not, but I am getting happier and happier away from it all. My only downfall could be a well-meaning non-CG friend, a night out on the booze and an invitation to the casino. Such invites are rare these days, but I will not put myself in a position where I need to decide.

Seventy.

It's just a number. But it's a nice number with a '0' on the end, and I like those in regard to my gamble-free life, because it means that a very attractive number is coming this way in the near future, and that has two '0s' on the end.

No gambling. No chance.

Yesterday I contacted netline and asked for details about the counselling. I feel on top of the gambling, but I need to talk face-to-face with someone so I asked if the offer was still open. It is, but the nearest sessions are 50 miles away - never mind. I shall get on with phoning them tomorrow - also, tomorrow I need to start thinking about my debts.

Hi Jim,

Counselling can be helpful I'm sure. If 50 miles is worth travelling then go for it. Maybe you'd put the same effort into gambling?? I watched the Sopranos and kind of sexified Counselling, something i'd like to do, maybe...

Anyway, i've noticed we're both on day 70 so i'll be keeping an eye on your progress as we both last gambled on the same day.

All the best for your future recovery

Keith

Hi Bud, congrats on 71 days, I know what you mean on the numbers ending in 0 I like them too, feels like another little milestone when I hit one.

I also had thoughts about counselling, not sure if it would be for me or not, like you my OH does not know, in fact I have told no one except the good people on this site. There are times when I think it would be great to talk face to face with someone but not sure if I could do it, when I feel the need to talk I usually end up coming on here and dumping it on your diary (sorry).

Do you think you will ever tell you’re OH?? I talk myself in and out of it on what feels like a daily basis. I always come back to the idea of getting maybe 1 year under my belt then telling, I then think if I got 1 year is there any need to cause that grief????

I wrote on my diary today about feeling more relaxed now that I’m not gambling also about lying and how it became so easy to do, would like to know your thought/opinion on that.

71 not out

Hi Pat,

I'm not a counselling sort myself, but a close friend of mine had it during a time of crisis for him (not gamb) and he is the LAST person on Earth who you'd expect to go there - large, gruff, down-to-Earth Yorkshireman - and he gave nothing but positive feedback about the experience (without divulging what went on, I might add - he just said it was 100'% helpful). I figure there's no harm in trying just one - I needn't ever go back if I don't want.

As for telling OH...I think it's horribly complicated, and each case is different, and in an ideal world we'd do it but it isn't always as easy as that. For ex: my OH said to me in our early days (ie first 3 months, when you just talk about yourselves and find out who you are) that if I ever gambled or turned into an alcoholic she would finish immediately. Well, her Father is an alcoholic, so I know where that's com from, and I like a drink but I only ever have one or two a night and it's taken me 4 years to get her to tolerate that. As for the ggambling, at the time I never acknowledged that I had a prob, so I just laughed it off. FF to now...should I tell her? I think, prob not. I MIGHT in the further future, but it's just not worth it now - one kid due anytime, finances are poor but stable and I am the only breadwinner, so why make problems at this time? I know there's a trust issue, but I'm not one to advocate the confessing of every sin that's committed if it doesn't help the other person. A problem shared is another person with a problem. Of course,I think that any issue directly facing a couple should be shared if possible, and some partneres will deal with it better than others, but my partner is one of the ones that won't - and I know her well enough to say that with confidence. Of course I feel s*i* about it, but that's my penalty. Perhaps better to look at the bigger picture: is there an after life? I hope so, but logic tells me probably not. So, why cause her any misery in this one? (If there is, of course, God will have to judge me on my true intentions here. But then I'll ask Him why he invented addiction, and slugs).

As for 'new relaxed me', yes, I feel it too, esp with the sprog. I am full of remorse for what I've done, but every cloud has a silver lining, and this new life is it. (Like I said on your diary earlier, in some ways us ex-gamblers are better off - it's like walking around with a 55lb bag of potatoes being lifted off our minds.

i'll keep you posted on the counselling. Plz stop apologising for commenting on my diary. You're pretty much the only one who writes long stories and anecdotes,and I need them.

When is your baby due? Will you be taking two weeks of paternity leave in a block? Are you entitled to anything more than SPP from your employer? I hope it all goes well for you and your wife.

No time off - I'm self-employed, so just the birth. Can't afford any more. The baby is due Feb 14th, and the OH wants a home birth. Yikes!

Day 72 - no gambling

What a fantastic Valentines day gift your getting this year. The home birth seams to be getting very popular, would not be my OH's thing but have heard a few people going that route.

It will be another positive thing to keep gambling off your mind 🙂

Just think you will be 107 days free of gambling that day, two fantastic things to look forward to.

Keep strong bud you have a great 2012 in the making