Making a new start

Day 1 PM / 75 to first target

Been a long day. Still devastated by my actions. Got to move on and try to forget the past.

Day 1 PM / 75 days

I'm slowly starting to come round. Realise I can't sit and moan. Got to be positive and correct my errors. I've simply got to stop gambling. It's simple when you type it but so much difficult to do. I see people succeed on here so why can't i? I can and I will. I'm 100% back behind this drive to improve my life and other people's life. Wasted too much time. Come on focus and crack this!

Day 1 PM / 75 days

Another thought is that I will consider any reading or looking at fixtures / form to be 'gambling'. It is part of the act of sports gambling so I need to stop doing that as well.

Hi Change, welcome back 🙂

Sorry to hear of your slip & great to see you've learned from it & strengthened your blockers!

You are absolutely right, you CAN do this, we all can! Write as much and as often as you like...Ramble don't gamble - ODAAT

Thanks for posting ODAAT. It really means something that someone else is reading and posting back. I need to kick this for good. Help me get to my 75 days and I'll be eternally grateful. Then onwards to 750 days and 7500 days! Thanks again.

Thought my TV licence was due in July. Turns out it's not until December. That made me happier. I'll be happier when I can stop worrying about money though...

Hi Change,

I know as CGs we are impatient, but that saying is sooo true, just take one day at a time with everything, it's the sure way to go forwards, don't be too hard on yourself, this is an awful addiction, every day we abstain we are winners.

Well done on coming back and not giving up,

Suzanne xxx

Day 2 AM / 74 days

Thanks Suzanne - it's really tough. Had a terrible nights sleep. Constantly going over and over things in my mind. Feel horrible and such a weak and greedy person.

Yes, I understand and can relate wholly, it's horrible to feel like that, but you know it won't last, it will fade, just push through these first few difficult days, just think if you gamble, you will feel even worse than you do now.

You have recovery on your side now, just focus on that, we can't undo what we have done, but we can change NOW and our futures.

Suzanne xxx

Day 2 PM / 74 days

Had a hectic day. Had to go down to London. Car park at station was shut so had to stick car at another one and leg it for the train. Tube was crazy with delays and cancellations. Meeting overran. Car park I put car in this morning is now shut. I rang ahead to the security guard and he said he would make an exception and let me get my car. Fingers crossed as my train is now delayed so doubt he'll be waiting around. Then got to drive back from station to home provided I have my car. Eat. Sleep. Do another manic day tomorrow.

All gambling urges are gone for now. I'm disgusted with it. Cudnt face radio this morning. Ain't looked at a single sports page or article. I am so well and truely hacked off with myself that I can't muster a smile. Really bad place to be as need to be positive. Going to try go a different GA meeting tomorrow which is not the one I went to in the past. Then got the regular one on Friday nights.

Day 2 PM / 74 days

Security guard did me a massive favour. What an absolute legend. He's done me a great turn. Managed to get car and now home. Eat some food. Read some forum. Try to sleep and go again.

Kudos to that man...

Isn't it lovely when a complete stranger makes your day 🙂

I feel your pain Change 🙁 My station is ridiculous for parking too & so I bought a bike only to discover that there are insufficient bike racks too (grrrr)! Can't take the bike on the train because either the start or the end of my journey occurs in the witching hour when there is barely enough room for the people let alone the fold ups that are allowed because despite the millions of pounds the rail networks make, they couldn't organise a p1ss up in a brewery...It's too hot, it's too cold, it's raining, there's a leaf on the track & don't even get me started on the tubes (grrr again)!

Well done for functioning in these early days...The start of my journey is something I turn to when Mr Gamble whispers in my ear, I can't go through that again!

Well done on Day 2 🙂

Keep fighting - ODAAT

That guard goes down as the greatest ever... said his boss was prob going to give him a right going over but he thought it was the right thing to do. It's a huge strength to have a good moral compass... and he has it in droves. I couldn't thank him enough.

I get the train every day like yourself. It is like a circus and a farm mixed together and the clowns are operating the trains... not the day-to-day drivers but the ones sat upstairs in the big offices wherever they are. The amount of room afforded to paying customers is disgraceful. It makes Ryanair look like luxury travel. But it's still better than driving!!! The roads into and out of cities are absolutely ridiculous.

Rant over and it's nearly Day 3. I actually laughed a little when I got home. I put comedy on youtube and listened. I felt normal for once.

Day 3 AM / 73 days

Started to feel bit better this morning and I'm dealing with my past errors. Looking forward to my new life... that's the best way to look at it. A new life of fun. Spoke to my best mate about my issues and he's helping to support me.

Hope everyone is doing well and staying positive.