my betting diary

Hi wp

Good on you delivering that letter! This gambling thing causes so much distortion to what our normal lives should really be.

We suddenly find that it's damaged relationships, or caused us to lose relationships that we value so much.

It can change though once we demonstrate that we have changed. Keep working at it because the effort will in the end be worth it I'm sure.

Enjoy the rest of your non gambling weekend.

David

Hi Winningpost,

First of all mate - many thanks again for stopping by my diary - I really do appreciate it.

Second of all - huge congrats on the amazing progress you have made. It is truly inspiring mate. You have great strength and a lot of that transfers over to us all in here when we read your kind words and support so my thanks to you for everything.

I am really sorry the letter didn't work mate. I thought it might have been worth a try so my fullest apologies it didn't work out. If your ex knew how evil this demon really is and spoke to a few guys on here I am pretty sure she would come to her senses and see how great a person you really are. Your progress to date is nothing short of remarkable mate! It really is.

Do you think would your ex agree to you seeing the kids with maybe someone else there instead of her, maybe a member of her family for example? Maybe when she sees you she becomes emotional so maybe if she wasn't there when you meet the kids it might be easier for you both? Sorry if that sounds like pants mate - I don't have any kids myself so I have no idea what it is like but I would really love to be able to help you with this because I know how big a smile you would have on your face if you saw the kids for a while.

I really hope she comes to her senses mate. Tell her if she wants a reference I will certainly provide her with one! You are a fantastic person that doesn't deserve this.

My fingers are crossed it works out Winningpost.

In the meantime stay strong and keep in touch mate.

Micky D

With thanks to david and micky...my days gone from bad to worse...havin finally made phone contact i ve been told 2 hours a week is not enough...it all kicked off ....basically she broke down stating ive no idea what ive put her through...i will always be a gambler despite all my efforts...it looks all far too late...some of you on here REALLY dont know how lucky you are 🙁 take care my friends this illness can really f**k up your life if you dont get to grips with it 🙁

So sorry to hear that. Please, please don't gamble. I'm sure you won't but just worried for you. Try to stay strong. Russ

Im ok russ thanks...if anything this has made my anger for gambling even stronger mate...i will win this evil battle and certainly wont be gambling from it.thanks again mate.

Some people may be wondering why im still trying to offer support with all thats been happening in my own personal life...dont get me wrong all is not rosie and ive been struggling to sleep sometimes but i hope its just a phase im going through with my shift patterns....its an easy enough answer though because if it wasnt for this site no doubts I WOULD VE GAMBLED....reading and posting the past few weeks has given me the strength to get through this...the main factor is i have had too much time on my hands and could easily have fallen by the wayside....however today is another day (i have never met such an up and down person) odaat i am distancing myself from my last financial disaster that was gambling. ....one thing is certain today i wont bet and to have remained focused for this difficult time i personally thank each and every one of you who have taken the time to post and support my diary..thank you...wp

Keep working at it wp... you know what helps you to stay stopped.. just as i know what helps me to stay stopped. All the best for the week ahead.. another gambling free week, one day at a time... S.A

wp,

Your 'ex' is obviously struggling with coming to terms with the impact of your addiction.

They say that those partners of cg's are often as sick as the cg's themselves. It is a pity that things have gone so far down the road without her seeking help. It is probably only dawning on her now, almost a full year later !!

Since you are not under the same roof, she does not see the massive improvement in you and that makes her recovery even more difficult.

At this stage, it seems like there is little you can do to shape her views. It is really tough that not only do we have to deal with our own addictions and recoveries but we also have to take on the impact of the recovery of those close to us. Normally at a time and a pace that is totally inconvenient !! I am indeed really lucky and I do not proclaim to be an expert in any way at all. I am lucky that my wife did not kick me out and she talks (shouts, throws things etc...) to me. I wouldn't have realised how deep and difficult the recovery is on their part when this thing first broke out into the public domain. This is why I think that this is all because of your 'ex's coming to terms with what happened and that you are not there to get the few kicks in the nuts which you (and all of us) deserve.

It's not your problem. It may be your fault, but its not your problem my friend.

All that aside, what is important is your kid. You deserve to see her. You will. It may go down a nasty or legal route but you cannot be denied. Particularly given all the great progress you have made. Again, I'm not speaking from personal experience but I am speaking from experience of hearing similar stories in GA. Keep your calm, keep your head down, keep up the effort in maintaining contact.

Best of Strength,

Brian

Hi Winningpost,

Many thanks again for stopping by my diary - I always appreciate your time as I know you are not having a great time of it yourself so my thanks to you mate - I am sure everyone else here appreciates your kind words and advice too.

I really wish I could be of more help to you mate because you are such a fantastic person. Unfortunately I am not really in a position to because I am a single man and not in a relationship at the moment but I did notice some great words from Brian in the post before me.

As Brian pointed out - your ex doesn't realise how huge your progress is mate and it isn't getting the recognition it deserves - it is massive!

A bit more space as you pointed out on my diary might be a plan of action for now but I really hope things turn around for you mate - you deserve to see your kids and as Brian pointed out you have the "right" to see them too.

Stay strong as you always do mate and keep in touch - my fingers are crossed for you in this difficult time.

Micky D

Hi wp,

I dont really know what to say to help. But I believe in you, and you are putting further and further distance between you and your last bet. Things are getting better for you, every day that you dont gamble. Fair enough, its a tiny amount each day, but who cares? a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other pal!

Take care,

f x

Hi wp

Just caught up with your diary, and just wanted to say sorry to read you've been going through so much these past couple of weeks..

Whenever i faced a problem, more often than not it would be the trigger for me to go off on one again..

Well huge respect to you for NOT going down that road and for continuing to fight against this. With all you have been dealing with and still posting advice and support to the many others on here (including myself) well it just shows what a throughly decent person you are..I hope things get sorted for you mate, i really do..

Keep fighting this... ODAAT, and thanks for all your support on my diary.

All the best mate

Takecare

hi wp,

thanks for your posts on my diary, hope you do not have the full blown "lurgy" going about just now.

sorry to read that things on the personal front are very difficult for you, and i wish your other half could see how much effort, hard work, and sheer determination that you have put in to change your life - its such a pity she cannot see past your "past".

You have remained strong where many would have crumbled, and still find time to help many many others - a very admirable quality !!.

I don't know if you are much of a reader wp, but i i would highly recomend a book i've just read by Colin McFarlane called "Gorbals Diehards" - the story of a "wild sixties childhood" - it's touching, very very funny, and so well written, and brought back so many memories of my own childhood (i'd almost forgotten that i had any !!)

all the best

tommi

hi winning post

thanks for dropping on my diary, really appreciate your advice, i hope your ok mate, your doing excellent, well done and i hope your excellent progress continues.

Hi wp.

Hope alls well.

"A new beginning"

Never shared this with you before.

I know a guy at my work place who wanted to change his life.He was a drug addict.

He was placed in our work place 8 years ago through some sort of work scheme.

He didn't make any money back then as he was on a "trial basis" but it was a way of him joining up with life again.

He was totally honest.Didn't have to be but he was.He's on medication for the rest of his life.

He changed everything about him....he got his good side back and made us look at him for the person he really was.He had to leave an environment where he actually felt like he fitted in....

8 years on he's working fulltime with us.

All the doubts about him and guess what...

He proved us wrong!

So whether it be drugs,alcohol,or for us gambling....we can beat this and become the person who we know we are.

My point being everyone deserves a second chance.I hope someday your ex realises the effort your putting in - to change your life around.

Everyone deserves a chance to make right and i know you are giving it your all.

In your case it seems like it could take some-time, but YOU know your changing.

You are getting back to the real you - no matter how hard and how long it takes.

Money wise your not too good....who is after the effects of gambling wp?

I had to loan 100 quid fron the parent-inlaws(yesterday) cause the bills pilled up.....things will take time to get it back to where we want it to.

Main thing is we are trying.We haven't given in and we want to put things right with the ones we love,and for us!

You will get there and if it takes an Eternity for your ex to see that....well so be it....at some stage wp your kids will spend more time you.

wp your doing so well....keep that up no matter how long it takes.Your kids need you...and you need them!

Viggo.

Hello wp, a lal delay in saying thanks in dropping by in my diary! All credit to you with your support to others and your diary shines through in what a top thoughtful fella you are........... Excellent post there from Viggo there and staying true to yourself and keeping on the path you're on, well! after time time rewards will follow in rediscovering the person you are!!!

Good luck pal...........believe