My diaries

Thanks Joanne I need to get in touch with aquarius as I have been referred to them by you guys, at the moment the thing I'm struggling the most with is the breakup.

Gambling is the last thing I want to do but that will change I know it will that's why I'm getting help and have come to the realisation that I'll more then likely always need the help.

Day 13, today is completely different day for me regarding my relationship with my ex. Last night she told me what I wanted to hear shes goin to give me that last chance, not rushing in to anything and taking everything one step at a time. 

I'm still in shock she giving me this chance to prove I can get over this nasty addiction, we both live each other so much shes never done one bad thing to cross me which makes everything I've done feel so much worse. I've asked if she would be able to take full control of all my finances I know it's a big ask but she's willing to do it to help me recover.

Tonight's the night when I go to my first ga meeting I'm worried and anxious but I know I'll be fine, I just hope that I can always get the support I need to push through. I think the main thing that's going to help me is the taking away of the finances because that's taking away all temptation, I have come to terms with the fact that I'm going to be a recovering gambling addict for the rest of my life but guess what folks I'm not gunna let it beat me. I'm feeling like one of the luckiest men alive from now to know that my ex wants to make things work and wants to help me through this. We are taking things real slow though, I know exactly what's wrong with her is she's worries about what people are going to say. 

Anyway I'll pop back tomoz for an update before or after work on how the ga meeting went.

I've also got my appointment now with the councillor from aquarius.

Onwards and upwards.

Stay gf guys you can do it, I can do it, we can all do it 

Danpo, that really is the best news. Use this opportunity as your motivation to keep going x

Pleased to read your sweetheart has rekindled the romance

But don't forget dear Danpo that it is your final chance

Betting brought you misery and caused your loved ones strife 

But now your ready and willing to ban gambling from your life

Danpo is on a mission and ready to Rock n Roll. 

Stephen 

Right guys it's been 15 days since the last time that dreaded feeling took over my body, that's not me, that's not the guy I am.

My partner has decided to start things back up but  slowly, I'm still living at my moms which i hate because of reasons I'd rather not go in to not meaning to sound ungrateful for the bed, people really dlnt know the situation though. Anyway I dont care if I have to stay here for a while I respect my partner's wishes and will wait forever and a day for her, to be with her and the kids just completes me as a person. 

The ga meeting last night was brilliant I found the people there very welcoming and just listening to other peoples problems kind of opened my eyes. I will be attending again next week for sure.

For now I just need to work my backside off to get he money back for the direct debits which I blew in a few weeks on spins. That's my poison them dreaded slots.

I'm definitely putting everything in place to safeguard everyone from my addiction myself included I'm not finding it difficult at all someone else being in charge of my finances, tbh I think its great. 

For now guys I'm taking it day by day and today I am not going to gamble.

I've always got to many thoughts running through my head coming here and writing is kind of therapeutic.

I'll see you all around remember it's not worth losing. If anyone wants a chat just throw me a message. Thanks.

Only just seen this message Stephen these are very wise words, I'm here for life dont you worry I'll make everyone happy 🙂

Posted by: Murlo

Danpo, that really is the best news. Use this opportunity as your motivation to keep going x

Thanks a lot murlo 

Day 17..... feeling strong and determined to beat this nasty illness, it really does help comin on this site. I'm very greatful for.

Struggling a bit with the fact that my partners family are trying to give her ultimatums,either them or me ? I know I've done wrong but I'm not a good person and l0ooked after my partner and kids for 10 years.

I know I am going to prove them all wrong this time round anyway. I've slipped io a few times in the 7 years but the last time 17 days ago was one of the worst time emotionally and mentally to the point I seen no return, things are slowly starting to come back in place. I know theres no trust between me and my partner now regarding money but I'm happy to say take all control of the finances, I know this will take away any urges knowing that she is on top of the money.

This time round I am also going to stay at ga I've read a lot of the stories regarding it and it seems to do wonders for people. I think it will be good for me. I never even tried it the times before. 

Got my counceling to look forward to on the 23/12/2019 kind of looking forward  to it, hope they can help in some way , im sure they can.

Anyway best get some sleep as I've got work at 6 am ??

Just wanting to let anyone reading know I'm feeling 1000 times more positive then I did a week ago.

Peace and love folks. Remember invest your money in to something worth it family being the number 1 thing.

Hi  Danpo1989

Really pleased to hear that you are feeling 1000x more positive. And well done on being gamble free for the last 17 days!! 

We are here 24/7 if you need us. You can reach us on the Helpine (0808 802 0133) or via our online chat facility.

Best wishes 

Forum Admin

Thanks admin, it's more my partner at the minute I am really worried about. It's really messed with her mental health this time time round, I'm trying to get her in the doctors but they never have appointments. She is feeling so low its unreal. Xmas is just over a week away and I feel.as though we both cant even enjoy the fact that its here, even for the kids sake.

I need to make sure I can stay on the right path this time and never gamble again for me, her and the children.

People keep doubting me and putting things in her mind that I'll never change and I'm just saying what she wants to hear. How can I become the person I once was if people have so much doubt. I know I'm going to prove them all wrong this time round.

It's just so.hard at the minute with everything going on I dont know how both of us are still coping with life, I think she is  very close to a nervous breakdown and need to find medical attention today.