My diary

22 days today !!!!!! . Had a pretty average day today , works been OK. I've got a counselling one to one tomorrow at 6.00 so thats on my mind a bit , the last session had a big impact on me, taking me back to places I don't really want to go , but if helps me I will go through anything to stay g f . I've still not phone s e I've just remembered , it didn't even cross my mind today , i will defo ring them tomoz because I know it will take away any temptation if I start to get any gambling urges ! So I'm doing OK the moment , still taking one day at a time , it was good on chat room last night it's good to see a lot of people in a good place and getting more g f days , it keeps me going !! . Hope all are well today and g f . Loz

One month G f today !!!! ,been a hard month but all my hard work must be paying off , chatroom are really helping and reading lots of diary's, counselling once a week seems to be working . Been working a lot so that's been keeping my on the straight and narrow , lol . Still not S E but I will be phoning this week as I don't want any temptation to start creeping in . I think I am being excepted quiet well be all the other gamcare members , i have also gave some advice to new members which is good, if I can help somebody I will , the people on here are so helpful and I feel as if I'm a part of that now . I still get urges to gamble but all I say to myself is NO you can't, you WON'T, i won't a LIFE gamble free without all the stress , pain , and heartache it causes , it not only destroys my life but everyone's life who loves me and I'm not doing it anymore . I feel so positive at the moment and I want that to continue , I'm not saying I'm better now I know it's a life long battle but I feel strong enough to resist and feel confident to keep going on this path I've chosen. I've been off work today and it's been so nice , my sons come around to see me and we've had a family dinner together ,feels normal if you no what I mean ! Anyway I'm working tomorrow but don't matter everything's good at the moment and the extra money's coming in handy ! I hope all had a good easter g f and are happy . Loz

I'm 34 days today , and still feeling positive ! , i went out last night of my mates 50th and had a lot to drink so it was a big test because alcohol in the past has gave me urges to gamble , but I didn't even think about it so I'm well happy , well hungover but we'll happy !!!!! . I didn't have a ciggy either which was a big test for me because when I drink all I want to do is have a smoke but I didn't. So I'm so pleased with myself today I think I've made real progress with my gambling addiction . Hope all are staying G f this weekend and are in a good place , chatroom was good this week got some good advice and a lot of positivity . One day at a time . Loz

Hi all what a day , well I'm on day 41 today but it's been the worst day since I've stopped gambling . I had gambling urges all day today and I just could not get them out of my head ! . Went on cgu quiet a few times today and that seemed to get me through, so thanks to all for that , also went on chatroom for last 30 minutes and that helped too , it seemed like it was a hard day for a lot of people . Still not smoking I missed that today because streso levels were really high! . Got my counselling on Tuesday so I'm looking forward too that . I do feel sorry for my oh because I'm a bit of a nightmare at the moment but at least I'm not gambling away all our money and the stress levels are dropping , so I'm thinking long term . Got some hols coming up so that's keeping me going and it's my sons 22nd birthday on Saturday so I've got a bit of money for that . All in all I'm in a good place and I'm trying to stay strong and keep focused , one day at a time really meant something today . Let's see what tomorrow brings , many more g f days that will do me . Loz

Hi all day 0 for me today it should be day 68 but I've relapsed. I could feel it coming for a while now but I think I let things slip and became a little complacent . I went in bookies and gambled on the fobts a didn't lose that much but that's not the point because next time it could be . I feel really down at the mo because I've come such a long way but maybe it's the wake up call I needed . I didn't self exclude because I felt I didn't need to , how wrong was i !!!! . Anyway I'll start again and pick myself up and carry on .