MY DIARY - 2ND DAY GAMBLE FREE...TO BE CONTINUED.

Wow. Thank you for your honesty sir. And am sorry that you relapsed. Unfortunately most of us will relapse at some time or another. Personally iv relapsed spectacularly also before...and ive used that to warn myself. Your story reinforces my will to stop this forever.

Easier said than done...but stay strong and stay online here mate

Hi justjoseph

Thank you for your post

I take some happiness that my post has reinforced your commitment to stop gambling forever.

I also would like to add to my post .... the offers of the free drinks and the given meal paid by the casino manager actually made me feel superior to the other guests on the ship and the fact that my final bill made me a high roller so to speak of the ship- made me feel high almost ....worries me most......after all its a backward behaviour to be elated because you owe the most to a blood y casino.......yet i did feel better to be identified as the man whom spends the money in bundles without outside worry....now i back on land and the holiday is over it feels rather silly - especailly as i have increased my debt further as never had such funds to begin with.... what i wasted on gambling could have paid for a further three cruises almost.

I will have to work 350 hours overtime to compensate for what i lost......that is a thought to sober me up from the silly fantasy of being mr important (or mr stupid rather)

LEST-WE-FORGET

Quite sickening how they all behave when you started throwing some real cash about....like leeches almost waiting to suck you dry! Its typical..when you have no money theyd sooner kick you out(not the boat scenario obv lol).
Theres no worse feeling than how you are feeling...i once won 7k in a day ...i was down 2k so up 5k....in one day i lost the whole lot plus created 3k debt! Wow..suicidal summed it up!

We can all boince back but

Aaaarrgghhh Wayne...Not the update we wanted 🙁 Nevertheless, it was a valuable learning curve that you will always carry with you! Thanks for sharing, it is experiences like this that serve to remind everyone that we cannot go back to controlled gambling; we cannot win because we cannot stop! It may sound mad but you have to be greatful you lost, otherwise it would have been a long drawn out process back to recovery rather than the short sharp shock that it was.

Well done for having the balls to come back & thank you for doing so! Now on with your recovery - ODAAT

Sorry to hear of your slip. But well done on stopping it. It will remind us all that we need our guards up at all times. Best wishes moving forward.

Thanks for sharing...just on a cruise currently and although keeping my barriers up and having no access or desire to gamble - I can see how a compulsive gambler could relapse.

The first bet is the one to avoid. All the best going forward mate

Thank you, Everyone, for your comments.

Yes the best advice is certainly to avoid that very first bet - the first bet is the one you justify as it can be quantified by a limit as at that point you haven't yet lost control or zoned out.

Looking back the first bet is the equivalent of launching yourself of the egde of a cliff........its all drastically downhill from that point......more so if you win at first.......as ODAAT correctly points out......winning just prolongs the eventual cresendo of the fall and failure.

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P.s Gary enjoy your cruise and well done for keeping the triangle broken with having no access to funds.....that was my downfall, i had a full triangle - time, access to credit,and location.

Controlled gambling does not work for compulsive gamblers....i have proved that.

Apart from a few minor issues - gambling is the only thing that put a taint on my cruise.... i hope it does not ruin yours as it did mine.

It really was a waste of precious time.

Made it the first month ....staying strong to make the next.

33 Days gamble free.

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checking in day 1 of 2017 challenge

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1st fall @ 596 days (28-DEC-2014 Join date - 16 August 2016 gamble free)

2nd fall @ a further 136 days Gamble free 17-Aug-16 to Ist Jan 2017

Restarted count 1st Jan 2017 (3rd time lucky....need to complete 2017 now without a single gamble for rest of year as first target)

Hope we all stay strong. Happy new year to you all.

Think i need to log on here more often as had i followed my very own advice from my last slip, when i had a straight run of 596 days, then i would not be a further £1000 in debt and back on day one again! ..........two slips now since i came here to begin with on 28 December 2014 just over 2 years ago.

On a slightly positive note i started off so well making 596 days without a single slip up.........and even then went a further 136 days after until this 2nd slip up - and this time i spent £1000 rather then the first slip of £3500....which was a massive burden of additional debt to my already demanding finances.

so in two years ive gambled £4500 in total which equates to about £6.16 a day (much less than when i was gambling regular)

Therefore although by no means a justification of my faulters but it was still worth Abstaining and Maintaining a Gamble free life for as many days as possible over the 2 years.

I hope my £6.16 per day average becomes £0.00 in the next 2 years time.

The danger of messing up, is when you have massive day counts and slip, you tend to slip on a big scale, i don't know if this is true with all, but i found deep down not wanting to stop as i knew it was wrong and i would not be able to gamble for days as would want to stop again to regain control, so it was almost like i wanted to put into the slot machines as much of my money as possible in the quickest amount of time,before reality took over.

Twinned with the original justification for playing that first £100 through was i been good most the year and feeling pretty lonely on new years eve as i've been single past 2-3 years, i just talked myself into gambling to fill that old hole that has been there since i first stopped 28-Dec-2014. The hole i normally learn to live with, on this particular night got the best of me and as i was more aware it was there, i knowingly jumped in and once in could not get out whatsoever.

I CAN CONFIRM IT IS BETTER FEELING LONELY AND OUT OF THE HOLE, THEN IN IT.

As Gambling just for those few hours has messed everything up again and put me at day 1.

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Hi Wayne, you know you can do it because of the long spells you have had not gambling before. Start writing the poems again I've enjoyed reading them and I'm sure others will too, best wishes x

Anon100 wrote:

Hi Wayne, you know you can do it because of the long spells you have had not gambling before. Start writing the poems again I've enjoyed reading them and I'm sure others will too, best wishes x

Thank you Anon100 🙂

i must sleep now but will return more often with some poems x

I also wish you all the best.

Wayne

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Checking in day 23 Gamble free.

Its been hard this month but so far so good.

Best Wishes to all here combating this illness.

Regards

Wayne

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Well done on your days, stick with it and I'm still waiting for the poems. X