My Diary - Day by Day

Day 328 - 28/12/15

Spoke too soon. OH gambling last night. Feel annoyed!

Day 329 - 29/12/15

Thanks lets hope its just a blip (takes so long to 'recover' the money lost though. To top it off we got a flat tyre too!

Day 331 - 31/12/15

OH got paid at midnight and is still gambling now - annoyed/angry/upset etc Going to create a rubbish start to the new year as he spent all his wages (except the house keeping which luckily he sent to me straight away)

Strangely seeing him gamble makes me want to gamble too (even though its made me annoyed) 2 sides of my brain one says 'f it gamble who gives a s**t etc' being self destructive and the otherside telling me that doing it just once is not an option and to look how far i have got.

It is times like this that i realise that it actually is a problem never really liked to admit that i had a 'real' problem not like the OH etc. Of course i have never spent as much as him or had the problem for as long but it still is a problem as it cant be controlled just abstained

On the flip side i should be proud of how far i have come 🙂

Day 332 - 1/1/16

Happy New Year 🙂

Start of year financials-

Debt stands at £5178.50

End of year aim £3000

Day 333 - 2/1/16

Totally lost with rewards - time goes by and i dont realise the goals (plus lack of money) Just glad to say i am still gf x

Day 334 - 3/1/16

I have been so tempted this week after watching OH never more so than today

Hi. It must be really hard to stay in control when you see OH gambling ..a bit like giving up smoking and then being around other smokers. But remember, you're doing this for you. Remind yourself of all the positives to not gambling and really think hard about how horrible gambling leaves you feeling. You've come so far...a whole year is just around the corner....don't throw it away now! Does he know it's a trigger for you? Can you talk about it with him? You can't make him stop, but you don't have to be dragged down with him. Keep strong...these feeling will pass.

LifeBegins x

Day 335 - 4/1/16

Thanks for your support - it shouldnt be a trigger but it is. You got it exactly right with the smoking comparision. I have been so close to depositing 'just the once' 'just a little bit' Abstained so far...

Missed my 11 months yesterday - yay go me!

11 months WOW you, you have done simply fantastic, and I know how hard it must be for you with your OH still gambling, but you are doing it girl, proud of you.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks - just popped on as soooo close to depositting right now. Seeing this message has made me want to abstain even more - i will fight the urge

My post to you was in the right place at the right time lol:))

Keep sticking the v up at Mr G, it's just not worth it girl,

Keep strong and keep positive, one month from one whole year is as I said simply fantastic.

Take care

Suzanne xxx

Day 336 - 5/1/16

Thanks again - stayed gf!

Day 338 - 7/1/16

Been keeping busy so i dont gamble,. Having urges and thoughts but kept strong so far