My Diary - Day by Day

Day 36 - 18/6/16

Proud so far OH not gambled and I am still gf. It will take over 8 years with minimum payments to pay off credit cards - bit of a reality check! Just by paying a little more each month though cuts it down considerably. Can be done without gambling making it worse

Already in your second month, you are doing so well.

Adding up debt, can be a real eye opener and even perhaps a bit of a downer, when you first do it, but you know from the past, you have managed to reduce your debt, so you can definitely do it again.

It's difficult, but everytime you have an urge to play, try to make a payment towards the card instead. As I used to say to myself, if I've got money for gambling, then I've got it for debt.

Perhaps look to make an additional payment, every time it's payday. I made it a priority to make additional payments to debt, as soon as I got paid, even before breakfast. It can also get any excess money away, that you might be tempted to gamble with.

Look forward to seeing you progress to 2 months gamble free.

Chuffed . Especially reading OH hasn't gambled. Your a courageous strong person. Kudos

It totally can be done chic! We've got to remember that when looking at the debt. It can so easily become a trigger but we must remember, most people have some sort of debt, the reason for ours is irrelevant now. Like you said to me, look forward not back, it's in the past.

OH not gambling must also be another lovely boost. I know it helped me when mine gave up. but try not to let whatever happens with his recovery effect yours. Whether he gambles or not, you're doing amazing. We can't help them if we are all stressed out worrying about everyone else as well as ourselves xx one day at a time, in it together 🙂

Day 38 - 20/6/16

Thanks all. Spoke to soon - found out the OH did gamble in the end - only deposited £10 but disappointed as it just shows he cant stop - although he then cancelled that and all affiliated sites for 5 years (max it allows) Lets see what happens with him this week.

The credit cards take 8 years+ on min payment but just an extra £10 can drop it to 3years and obviously the more I pay the quicker it will come down. Still a couple of grand less debt than when i started this journey - looking forward and keeping positive 🙂

Day 39 - 21/6/16

Dissappointed to say the least. OH had lied he had deposited £20 not £10 the other day. Then told me he spent £20 on an already open account again and have seen from bank statement that he spent £22 and had opened a new site! Considering he only had £90 that is a considerable amount of money and this week we have been unable to pay rent and council tax (due to sickness=less pay) but he can gamble,lie about it especially when he said he was giving up. He just cant help himself! Rant over

I am feeling positive although still 6 days until payday and broke 🙁

Just keep strong yourself, as I said before, the stronger you get, the better you'll be able to see the situation around you.

Being broke isn't necessary a bad thing, you don't need money in life to make you happy, as long as you have a roof over your head and food in your belly, that's the main thing. It'll also be 45 days gamble free by payday, think nearly a half a century.

Day 40 - 22/6/16

I know I need to concentrate on my own recovery more than anything else. I dont mind having no spare money (not materialisitic at all) but at the moment its a struggle to pay the bills. I know it will get better 🙂 Thanks for continued support

You're going great chic. Happy 40th day 🙂 xx

The reality is that money that was spent on gambling (by either of you) isn't available for bills. Or even living. Once it's gone, it's not there any more and it's not coming back.

The question is, what are you going to do to change the situation that you are in? Doing nothing may be passive but it's an effective choice.

Wish you well,

CW

Day 41 - 23/6/16

Still GF but OH blew all his 'spare' money within hours of getting paid (£190 lost) leaving him pennies. Feeling P****d off

Then that is all he has left to manage and he will have to accept the fact that if he wants money for anything he will have to justify it to you first. That's always a deterrent - having to ask the Mrs permission! But try to be understanding, u know how hard it is to stop and deep down you know he feels s**t about it. Best thing I did when mine relapsed that time was to be non judgemental and supportive without being patronising or angry. You're doing great as usual chic, 1 day at a time and on the eve of 6 weeks!! XD go you!! xx

Day 45 - 27/6/16

Thanks Red - its such a hard battle for us both and i do understand i just feel like he doesnt even try. Contemplating seeing the doctor as i am slipping back into depression and its getting worse each week

Go for it Wants2! So far you have walked this journey with no 3D support & I for one think a trip to the Dr is an excellent idea! You are a new mum whose partner seems to be doing sweet FA & that is not fair on either of you!

Paige needs good role models & you stressing over how the bills are being paid is something you shouldn't have to be doing if he is able to gamble silly amounts like that! I thought he wanted to stop? How is he gambling? Self exclusions must be done as a basic step & if it's online, you need to get blocking software on all your home devices! It is a hard battle, we aren't just f&f who only know the pain from someone else, stopping isn't easy but it's a lot easier when we take action to do so!

Please, look after yourself so you can be the very best person you can for your baby! I've said it before & I'll say it again, growing up with an active CG is a challenge!

Look after you - ODAAT

Day 46 - 28/6/16

Thanks for the advice ODAAT 🙂

We have been looking at blocking software all the onces recommended on the gambling sites cost money which we havent got - any advice on free blockers?

Nervous to go to Drs as i dont want them to think i cant cope etc - its mild at the moment (i have suffered before and been worse) but i can see it getting worse over time - I am still GF and although i have had a few urges still feeling positive