My Recovery...

Hi All,

I just thought i would post my thoughts after my therapy session today.

I started gambling at the age of 18, just a few quid here and there, this was something i enjoyed and managed for many years until around 2012, following on from my grandmothers death and the shock and loss i felt my gambling gathered pace.

Boredom and depression escalated my gambling, racking up debts as i went. My Gambling really got out of hand after i fell ill myself and underwent Brain Surgery, then came the Critical Illness payout....

During my recovery from illness i would gamble online, visit various bookmakers. I would gamble on Horses, Football, Golf, but the worst of all the Video Slot machines, all this time i was trying in vain to save my relationship with my now wife.

I would start with £100, lose, cash point, lose, cash point, this cycle would continue for days and days on end even if i won. At this time i was convinced i was just doing what anyone in my situation would do, i was simply bored.

Then i realised the money was dissapearing, my time was spent in the bookies or the pub. I would lie constantly to Family & Friends about my whereabouts and where money was going to. I missed mortgage payments, priority bills went out of the window. There was a day in particular in which i gambled all day and then placed £4000 on a 1/4 shot. It won, but the thrill wasnt there anymore, i realised i had a problem, but i still couldnt stop.

By this time my lies had caught me out and my wife knew what was going on, we sorted out money, tried to move on. I refused any help and convinced my self i would stop, i did not want my family to know. I didnt stop, i carried on.

Christmas 2014, my lowest point, i was lieing, borrowing, selling to keep my gambling going and praying no one would find out. My Wife found out, and told my family. I was at Rock Bottom and was affected mentally, having to visit the local hospital.

This was a god send, the support i received was something i was somewhat embarassed of at the time.

The following days were spend supervised by family, trips to self exclude at the bookies, close down online accounts and arranging counselling through GamCare.

I am proud to say i am now 100 days without a bet, in better mental health than i have been for many years and attending regular counselling sessions through GamCare.

I cannot emphasise the importnace of recognising the problems and speaking to people, gambling and lieing was making me ill and i had to hit rock bottom to seek the help i needed.

However bad you think people will perseeve you, be that family, friends or loved ones i can tell you from experience the truth will always out and your loved ones will be there for you.

100 days and counting.......