new beginning

Hello Folks,

After the row last night I feel angry. I'm not managing any money. Yes it's a help. But i am feeling anomisity towards my wife. I know that's me being honest. Has anybody else felt this? I know this anger probably comes from gambling.

Paul

Hi Paul.

Not at all. Only praise and respect for my wife in helping me through this.

Why are you angry / bitter?

Historically it's because your wife has had control of the finances.

And........

The problem with that is????????

You don't like it.

But with her control she is helping. It's called tough love matey. Might keep you out of the bookies hmmmm.

You really need to close ALL AVENUES and quickly.

I wish you well

Hello Balvaird.

Thanks for advice. I agree with what you say. It makes sense.

I just want to add my wife has been brilliant and helped me through alot. She has stood by me.

I have to keep barriers up.

Thanks for your help and advice Balvaird.

Paul.

Hi Paul - sometimes we take 'things' out on our nearest and dearest because we know no one else would put up with it! Your wife sounds like a good woman in trying to help you. - she too will need to let her frustration and anger out at times as well. It certainly isn't easy being on the friends and family side of this either. let your wife help you Paul. - wcid

Hello WCID,

Thankyou for your post I really appreciate it. I know what you mean.

Sometimes I feel like leaving and try and sort myself out then come back. It's just i know i'm hurting my wife and not just me. I didn't get married to hurt my wife. It's up to me to change now. I think i am ready now.

Paul.

Morning All,

Doing overtime today. I am going to have a quiet weekend. I have not much cash so no worry of gambling. I am feeling alot happier today. Things are improving.

I am optimistic today.

Good luck everyone in your recovery.

Paul.

Morning Paul have a good gf day. - wcid.

Hello WCID,

An okay sort of day. Well i ended up in turfs and lost £7.

I don't carry much with me this weather. I could have bought the wife flowers though or given £7 to charity.i didn't. I give the turfs cash as per usual.

I am feeling tired and hungry. I will get home and have some grub. Then i head to the gym at 7.30pm.

I am tempted to gamble tonight but i won't.

I hope everyone had a good day.
Paul.

Hi Paul, is this your new plan to be a controlled gambler? You can buy your wife some flowers tomorrow Paul. Enjoy the gym. - wcid

Good morning my european friends,

On the bus heading to work. I can't be bothered today although i slept great.

No thoughts of gambling. Ordering a piece of jewellery for the wife today for valentines day.

I am not usually this organised haha.

Just as i wrote this I remembered something. Valentines day about 5 years ago. I was living alone but dating the wife.

I had £250.on me. To take us for a meal etc.

I made the decision to go to the bookies. I quickly lost ВЈ200. So i decided to place £50 on a horse.

The race went off. My heart was pounding as that £50 was for the valentines dinner.

My horse was inside the last furlong, neck and neck with this other horse. They came up to the line together.

I had to wait for a photo finish.

Then....

My horse came up on the screen as the winner.

Then...

The screen went black.

Then......

The results reappeared but this time my horse was second.

Even the turfs clerk had never seen anything like it

Anyway. My girlfriend took me out for valentines dinner.

I felt empty.

Did I stop gambling?

NO!!!

That's why I'm here 🙂

Paul.

Morning Paul. - that's good your buying your wife a nice prezzie for valentines. We all make wrong choices in life at times. The addiction kept you making the wrong choices, now you can look to your future making the right choices. We were discussing on chat the other night about how being a an addict makes you selfish to others around you, your dinner date above is a good example of that. - you have many more years to take your good wife out for meals though - be strong and have a good day. - wcid

Thankyou WCID,

I like your post and positivity. What you say is so true aswell. We are going out this thursday night for dinner. I did go out alot aswell. Well when you borrow 50k on payday loans the money was always there at a click of a button. Then came the worry of debt......

I must read your diary.

Thanks,
Paul.

Hello folks,

I ordered the wife a present for valentines. It's good to get my priorities right for a change.

Progress.......

Paul.

Morning my european friends,

Well i am having an okay day in work. My new plan is just to do the lotto in the bookies.

No fobts
So horses
No greyhounds
No virtual racing

Lets face it. Horse racing is fixed anyway.

So i will spend a fiver today. Then a fiver for lunch.

I hope you all have a good day.
As spock said. Live long and prosper.

Paul.

49's Lotto?