new beginning

Paul,

No appologies as i'm going to agree with you and disagree with I Wished and Balvaird, you are indeed a Mug, but not with capital letters. Infact my original user name.

Arrogance is a barrier to abstaining and recovery...Hence start with the other barriers the other good people have suggested.

I dont feel i need to explain myself, but i will. I give a f***k because i see the sinilarities between me ( Mug ) and the Toad.

Paul

Day 1

Morning All. Starting to feel a bit better since i lost 1k on the fobt.

Them fobt are hungry for cash. I fed that machine well that day.
If i could of seen what was coming i'd burn the notes rather than pay the turfs the cash.

Anyway It's gone!!! Bye bye cash.

A new day today. Getting a bit more like myself.

Busy week and overtime on saturday. I trained 4 nights a week the last weeks. Feeling tired.

I don't have any jokes today but if you read my diary you might get a laugh 🙂

Paul.

Hi Paul hope your day 1 went well

Wcid

Nothing amusing about your experiences. I just wish you would make changes so that your situation can change.

CW

Morning All

Went to the doctors this morning. Just on bus now heading to work.

Yesterday was a haze. I am in the midst of a gambling binge.

Lost ВЈ100 then lost another £200.
Then put ВЈ100 into the fobt and got it up to £500.

Madness. I left most of the cash at home today.

I need to close my account with the overdraft as today i have 1k i could waste. I can't do that.

So my head was spinning yesterday. I broke the triangle and survived.

Good luck in your recovery.
Paul.

Gambler Toad/Paul - but you need serious help and fast. You're commenting as if you're not really that bothered about losing cash. That's just not right. FOBT are vile machines and all of them should be ritually smashed up to pieces. Quit them NOW!!!!

Hello folks,

I have new tactics today.

£20 to do 25p bets. Watch a few races and drink some coffee.

If you can't beat em. Join em.

On a positive note i closed my current account today. So i could have blown 1k of the banks money. Today I will not do that.

If i control my betting maybe that's a start.

Paul.

A master plan from the Toad. & as per this mornings post, I think you need to re-read the triangle concept.

Maybe time to hand things over to Paul again.

Hi Paul . Is there not a feeling here of deja vu ?

The reason your here in the first place is because you cannot control your betting ,so to make the last statement doesn't make any sense at all ?

Toadie oh toadie, you can't beat the turfs, you have to think why you want to keep joining the losers, because gambling is a losers game, you will never win them or beat them, no matter what the addiction tells you, it lies, through the teeth, come on toady, you can do this, if you really want to win, just choose no, and get all the help and support you can get to get onto that recovery road, at the end of the day, it is the only way to go forwards, 20 a day just for a week is 140 won, by abstaining, and this is won in the real world.

Rooting for you, come on bring it on

Suzanne xxx

£20 to watch a few races and drink some coffee...that's an expensive cup of coffee. You could do so much more with that time and money. There has to be other places that you could go to pass some time, but you don't want to really do you? Until you work out what keeps pulling you back into the bookies there's little hope that things will change. Those 25p bets are unlikely to work. Weeks ago you had £3 to bet with but then you went back time and time again (who knows how much you've lost since then). You can't win because you can't stop...like all of us here. Ask yourself, honestly, do you want to stop gambling or do you just want to stop losing? There's a huge difference between the two.

LifeBegins x

Hi Toad (I think you have taken that persona on again) you have tried every tactic in the book apart from the one that is staring you in the face. If you are serious then self exclude.

I think if you re-read your diary you will see that suggestion is made more than any. You know what you have to do.

i would say that you are at a cross roads (again) but that would be wrong, I fear you have come to a dead end and the only thing you can do now is reverse back down the track and choose a different road.

Hello sbisstopping, lifebegins, I wished, Alan and Volcano,

I apologise for the last few posts. I am now taking this seriously. I was carrying £450 and handed it to the wife tonight.

I am going to get some photos as I need to self exclude. I could have lost hundreds today.

It's correct the turfs are full of losers. I need to change my lifestyle once and for all.

I am running outta chances. I had a row with my wife tonight about lies. I tell lies through gambling. This has to stop.

I'm going to read my whole diary tonight. I am 40. I need to change now.

I don't want to be Toad. He is selfish, greedy and a liar. I want to be Paul again. I have lost who I was. This addiction is so damaging. Please give me strength to stop.

There are so many good people on here offering me advice. I have been stupid in the past.

I know someone at home who sold their property in 2007 and made 1 million. He was in the casino everyday buying drinks for people and punting. He lost the million and now lives in a council house.

Such a sad tale.....but very true as I know this man personally.

Before I go You should watch a 3 part series on youtube called ' punter-moving on BBC' I see myself in him. I have watched this numerous times and it nearly makes me well up with emotion. Gambling really does have its lows.

Thanks for listening.

Paul.

Paul, I think our hunter and gatherer in us, can never accept that we're beat.

And we never are, but we burn bridges and you just being here, tells me that like all of us here on this forum that the bridge is now an inferno.

No point in my humble in reading back right now, it's more how you move forward...

Day 1

1st barrier - carrying little money today.

I won't gamble today. Working late tonight aswell then the gym.

Thankyou for all the help everyone. It is now up to me to take action.

Talk is good but it is implementing positive change that really counts.

Good luck everyone.

Paul.