New Beginnings

Thanks Forum Admin for the comments! I have spoken online to the advice line an they were great. I'm hoping to finalise gamstop soon, they won't accept my details online.

6 day GF - having requests from companies for direct debits that have bounced, this is my life... shifting money around to cover small direct debits. I have a plan for payday though to sort that, and then I just need to get through Christmas. This is where I would be tempted to just try my luck with the last few pounds I had left....

8 days GF. Weird urges today, have barely any money, but somehow think I can turn it into more. Had strange anxiety dreams as well. Also super tired after very stressful week at work of 10/12 hr days - means that I don’t want to do anything but sit around and look at the tablet! Trying to read stuff instead! Annoyed about Facebook ads. Anyone found a way to block them? Tried on the ad prefs but can't find a 'gambling' option.

The early days are tough so congrats on hanging in there so far. Each day mounts up to the rest of your life without gambling... Imagine that eh ;o)
Good times ahead if you stay on this path.

Turning money into more... What if you're wrong? What if you try and turn that money into more and end up with empty pockets (again!) and go back to square one? Correct me if I'm wrong but it's not at all certain that you're going to win right? And you are a human being so are perfectly capable of having a corrupt thought that doesn't actually pan out the way it plays out in your head??

This addiction is POWERFUL. The mind only sends messages - it is not the central nervous system... Sometimes those messages are plain and simply the wrong ones. The art of life for an addict is finding a way to distinguish the corrupt messages from the fruitful ones... And that exploration is what people term as 'recovery' (in essence).

re ads - someone clever once said that they don't have a fridge full of ford fiestas as a result of ads... If ads stimulate those corrupt messages then recognise them for what they are and tell them to do one. Don't rely too much on your mind lil... Remember it only sends the messages.

Think of the mind like the royal mail... 90% of the time the messages will get there but there will always be that 10% whose message gets lost in the post or sent to the wrong address... Don't lose yourself a truckload of money over a corrupt thought or misguided message. Spend it on something more useful.

Ps have you tried out the AFTER GAMBLING PODCAST? Google it and see if that works for you. It certainly did for me.

Thanks Signalman, you speak much sense! Love the quote about the Fiestas... will explore the podcast.

13 days GF, but to be honest I feel like I'm wishing my life away right now... just trying to get to the next pay day, and then I'm already worried about the one after that. Just obsessed with money right now, which is a terrible way to be over Christmas and feeling so guilty that I haven't bought people presents they deserve. Luckily, work is so busy that I have little time to feel sorry for myself.

Hey

1) the money obsession thing passes with time and becomes less important... Don't worry.

2) they may not get presents they 'deserve' but you still deserve kudos for trying to get over this horrible addiction one day a time. If the people you cite knew how hard you're trying to do the right thing they would be proud and the presents would be secondary. Tackling gambling is the best present you could offer anyone and that present can keep on giving for the rest of your life.

3) don't wish your life away :o) you're on a road to taking back control of it so why now wish the days away... ;o)

Take it easy. You're doing great.

Thanks again Signalman1

16 days GF... checking in as I have been paid and so, briefly, have money before bills come out. As I’m really behind on bills I need to keep my eye on the prize here. Proud of what I’ve achieved so far..,

And so you should be. Especially during the Christmas period which is so tempting for many. It's great to hear you speak positively about your abstainence thus far. It is a great achievement and you are also clawing back self-esteem and self-worth (which gambling took away from you) which are both equally as important as the GF free days you are racking up. Keep going.

Merry Christmas!

Thanks @signalman... checking in again as trying to stay offline for a bit! 19days GF.

Thank you for posting on my diary, Lil30. I hope you've had a lovely xmas and enjoying every bit of what's left.

Okay, sad to report a relapse yesterday. BUT it wasn't too detrimental money-wise, and I saw the light pretty quickly. It came from a random email from a site I hadn't used / remembered offering free spins. Uh-huh. However, the anxiety, the sickness and the urge was all to familiar. Now the guilt and the worry... A crappy kind of wake up call, but I've self excluded, been listening to a podcast and i've reset the clock. Need to get back to gamstop.

Thinking of this place, and the forum really helped me to get straight sooner. And writing this is vety sobering, onward and upward and all that....

I looked inside my diary and felt a little thrill for there I found a message from dear sweet lil. It was sad you had a stumble but you aint one to grumble and now your here again all ready to rumble

A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step. The rest of your life starts today and I sincerely hope it will be a great adventure for you.

The past is over. You, me and other gamcare friends can make 2019 the year we started to live again ...stephen

Oops, messed that up... will try again! Thanks for this. Thinking positively now!

Self Sufficient Stephen wrote:

I looked inside my diary and felt a little thrill for there I found a message from dear sweet lil. It was sad you had a stumble but you aint one to grumble and now your here again all ready to rumble

thank you! Yes, back to some positive thinking now!!

A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step. The rest of your life starts today and I sincerely hope it will be a great adventure for you.

The past is over. You, me and other gamcare friends can make 2019 the year we started to live again ...stephen

Update, whilst I wait for gamstop I've enabled parental control on our router for gambling sites... happy to report it seems to be working.... made me relax a bit!