Sometimes I visit the diaries simply to be inspired by the courage, wisdom and vision of my fellow travellers.
This weekend I have witnessed our good friend Adam reach 10 months gamble free and today is the turn of Charlieboy who is 4 months into her journey of recovery.
The world needs heroes who we can look up to and seeing you both standing proud with fists raised has brought great joy and happiness to me.
Respect from Aum
Hi Charlie, thanks for your kind & wise words on my thread, if only I had half your positivity I’d be fine. You’re right, we’re both old enough to know better, but better late than never. Well done on your 4 months & good luck on the road ahead.
Hi @charlieboy it’s jade, haven’t been on the forums for a while! I hope you are well and still gamble free! I am it feels amazing ?
Hi jade I couldn't find your diary to post on . You're doing really good well done and yes I'm still on the gamble free bus !! Long may things continue for both of us
Dear diary, I've been reminded today of why over the years I used gambling as an escape from life. But the point is USED not any more, I'm not going to use my husband being a P.....k as a reason to gamble , after 4months gamble free if I gambled now it would be a conscious decision to do so. And my conscious decision is I will find other methods of dealing with things,my husband is always going to be that way and obviously worse now since he found out about my gambling. I'm in no way excusing my behaviour, he has ever right to be upset about it. These issues have been long term in our relationship and I don't suppose for one minute will ever be any different. So I choose to deal with how I feel in a different way and find happiness in my recovery, gambling was the easy way to lose myself, this way is harder much much more rewarding. My son is so supportive I'm humbled by him we talk and I hope my experience can give him the knowledge to choose differently, he is not immune to the way sometimes my husband is although happily for the most part his dad is different with him.....because believe me if he was bad to him I would end my marriage in a heartbeat !! Anyway I've rambled on but in GA and this forum I have found better ways to cope than gambling. Gambling my friends is never the answer !!
You seem like a real strong lady Charlieboy, stay strong and hold your head high, you should be proud of yourself
@charlieboy. Insightful stuff from such a newbie. You continue to show that hard work counts, that life isn't always perfect but you realise that gambling is an escape, not the answer. I admire your perserverance and kindness, and sometimes brutal honesty, to others too.
One little saying that might help, you might not be in control of your gambling, but you are in control of placing that first bet.
Keep going, you're doing great.
Chris.
Hello Charlieboy,
I just read your diary and it was very enlightening. You seem to have alot to contend with your health and husband. Well done for four months game free.
I 'm really sure you have inspired many to stay strong and not gamble. I am still fighting this addiction myself but as I sit on my lily pad today I see still waters by the pond. There is a relaxed mood by the pond.
Keep up the good work Charlieboy. Toad has your backing we can leap over any obstacle no matter high. So put your hands together and clap for Charlieboy.
?
Day 134 = little over 19 weeks been busy writing on others diaries forgot my own !! Well probably because there is very little New for me, which I think it's good things are ticking over . GA as usual was very insightful we talked about guilt,remorse and moving forward from it and as usual I gained a lot,you have to give something of yourself to gain help and I'm getting better at it !!
Thank you for visiting my diary Charlieboy.
And congratulations on 136 days gamble free.
However, it has saddened me to think that you had no ducks so here are a few to keep you company:
Doris ?... Hiya Charlieboy I think you are a whizz for greeting new arrivals and telling them the biz ?♀️.
Donald ? ... Charlieboy Charlieboy I think I'm going quackers ???, whilst paddling around this morning some weed caught on my knack of being gamble free is what you are aspiring to be.
Daphne ? ... Greetings dear friend Charlieboy from little ducky Daphne who is deliriously delighted that you are gamble free.
Wishing you a good weekend
From
Aum ?
Hello Charlieboy,
Just a wee message to thank you for your message of support on my diary.
It lifted my spirits so thanks!
?
Dear diary day 142 so a little over 20 weeks ! We are now in lockdown again for 2 weeks I hope people respect it give us the best chance . Be nice to have our son home for 2weeks he's in year 11 so he is off the extra week with distance learning. This virus really has turned life upside down. Despite everything I'm feeling upbeat, there is more money and me and my family are reaping the benefit of that. First year in a few in not worried about affording Christmas. I'm thankful every day for being gamble free and the realisation that gambling will never be the answer
Day 146, I'm feeling extremely thankful today, thankful for my recovery, thankful for finding this forum and through this my local GA. I feel blessed for all the help,suport,advice and new friendships I've made. Gamble free is the life for me
Hello Charlie boy.
Thanks for posting on my diary. I appreciate it. I decided to read through the diaries of each member that replied to me and I picked yours first. I've just finished reading it. I have been reading it when I'd have probably given into temptation so you could say you stopped me gambling for those nights! I'd like to say a massive congratulations on what you've done. There must have been some wretched times along the way. I'm in absolute awe of you.
Im 55 now but from being a child we would often visit the amusement arcades but this was always viewed as fun. Even when I got married and moved to the coast it was still viewed as fun having a walk through the amusement's. In fact I'd even feel sorry for those who'd been sat there for hours on the fruit machine's. I wouldn't play them - it was always the "pushers" I'd play. Funny how later it would be online fruit machines I'd become addicted to.
Later though, as a widow I picked up a magazine and a leaflet dropped out for a free £5.00 bonus and I tried it out of curiosity. Sadly I won a fair bit with that. I say sadly because it was the start of such misery. I found it distracted me from the pain of bereavement so I kept doing it. I still want to. The sneakieness and internal shame though was and is still eating away at me.
it's not even been 2weeks for me. Even that is an achievement but you've done amazingly well. I wish you well and thanks again for replying on my diary.
Day 150 ! I am thankful for each and every day. 4th November will be 5calendar months. Something v funny is happening to me...things that happen that used to give me massive urges to gamble don't have that effect now. Is that time away from gambling? Or is it that I have blocks in place? My mental health has definitely improved so maybe it's a bit of everything. Whatever it is it's very welcome and I'm definitely not becoming complacent I'm committed to recovery and GA
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