New me started 5th June 2020

???Congratulations Charlieboy on 300 Days GF. 

Thank you for being an inspiration to me over the last 10 months. 

You have always behaved with courage and have retained your wonderful sense of humour whilst supporting your gamcare friends in a caring and compassionate manner. 

I had intended writing you a rhyme but words could not adequately convey the respect and admiration I have for our Charlieboy. 

Aum ?

Good Morning CB and Happy Easter,

First of all, thank you for your message on my diary.

I have not read through your diary yet but I will begin this process throughout the day. I have read the last post and 300 days of no gambling its a truly wonderful achievement. To get to 300 days takes a considerable amount. You are doing fabulously well. Keep going now, keep reading and learning new things about gambling addiction. The more we know the better prepared we will always be.

Well done. 

RR

Dear diary, Just found out that my GA group is starting back face to face 3rd may and I'm really really pleased. Zoom meetings have been extremely difficult for me we live in a small house and my husband has issues with sleeping he goes to bed between 6-7 o'clock and several occasions said he could hear everything and one time shouted downstairs for me to keep my voice down.....admittedly he was embarrassed when I told him I was on my GA meeting. Brings into the equation the anonymous part of GA and plus I need the privacy to talk about what I need to talk about. My husband is supportive but still finds talking difficult and I understand that , so all in all I'll be very happy to get back to weekly meetings in the church. Obviously I've been really grateful for this site and the support I get and I get different insight from reading lots on here and talking in GA a 2 prong sort of attack best for me !!

Hey Charlieboy and may I add ... fan-bloody-tastic on reaching the coveted, hard-won 300 day milestone 🙂

And the fact that you are steadfast in your continued quest to live a better life is inspirational.

When we prepare

It's because we care

When we go over and above

It's because we love 

🙂

Day 321, life is good, no thoughts of gambling. My son having his school assessments over next 6 weeks to determine his grades, so my focus is on making sure he's ok , covid has been hard for his learning and I'm proud of him and how he's coped, he's got a conditional college offer so I'm keeping everything crossed for him. I've never had a problem with betting on sports, good thing really my 2 favourites on atm world snooker and premier league darts. I like most sports ( not so much footy !!) I feel for compulsive gamblers who once they stop gambling can no longer enjoy sports. Enjoying nice weather and taking dogs out later with the lighter nights. Only real negative is another big flare up with my fibromyalgia but I'm coping as everything else is pretty positive, so onwards and upwards . Infinity and beyond !!! Lol....gotta love buzz lightyear

Well done on your gambling recovery so far your doing amazing. 

Hope your flare up of fibromyalgia eases soon, its great you have hobbies to keep you busy and can enjoy them 

Lou x

Hey Charlie, 

Thanks for popping  by ?

Yes, nightshifts are nightmare and I did them most of my working  life really. Now I do it in rotation manner as start on earlies then lates and then nights. This really gets body out of sync as it doesn't  know if its getting up or going to sleep lol...ahhh,so nursing huh...biggest respect to you my dear and I can imagine that caring for others brings a lot of challenges  as there are a lot of needs to be met. ...

I see you're  ticking along just lovely and smoothly. May long this continue.  We have good days and bad ones but as long as we make the most out of each every one of them, we are literally  winners in life ?

Little girl is flat out in the sun lol and I am having a breather in between cooking, cleaning, having a bath and studying  ?..telling ya, no stopping in my world  but it has to be done! Didn't do housework  for the whole week as I am just up, work, back home, food, walkies and bed...no energy for anything else so the dust just gathers daily...0lus lil one decides to have a while time now and again so sofa's cushions are all over the house some days!..bless her lil paws! 

Anyhow, enough for now I guess..have a lovely day! Woods to lil four legged friends,  stay safe/content and at peace!

Hugs

S&B xx

Hi Charlieboy, just been reading some of your posts.  Love your spark, your outlook 🙂

And it's great you have garnered support, and also have support.  I'm looking forward to going back to church on a Sunday once things get back to normal; I really miss it.

One day at a time, Charlieboy, living that truly more fulfilling life, one day at a time 🙂

Day 330 a nice round number !! Doing good , enjoyed the nice weather, definitely good for my mental health. Trying to walk further supposed to be good for my fibromyalgia....muscles should be sore.....mine are agony !! What does sore actually mean ? Lol suppose I'll ask the Dr ....again !! Good thing is that I'm not hiding from this now in the flashing lights of spinning reels, wonder if pain is worse because I'm not going into that trance? Don't think I'll ask the Dr that though lol. But I'd rather feel how I do now even with the pain than I did a year ago that terrible sick,loathing feeling. I'll choose the pain thank you very much. Apparently warmer weather helps so fingers crossed.

Hi @Charlieboy,

Congratulations on being 330 days gamble free! It is so lovely to see how far you've come after all the hard work you've put into your recovery. Although you are feeling the physical pain, I appreciate the mental anguish that you experienced 330 days ago was more painful.

With regards to your physical pain, I would definitely recommend speaking to your GP. You might want to consider looking into creative activities as a way of pain management. 

Thank you very much for sharing your journey with us. Please keep sharing.

All the best,

Fay

Forum Admin

Morning  Charlie,

Excellent  progress  being made to stay away from the devil so please continue  good and sometimes  not easy work!

Regarding  the pain...not pleasant at all! Is it arthritis  pain? I used to have terrible pain in my hands/fingers when worked in cold environment quite few years ago. They appear to kinda "heal" now and I guess flashes of pain and twists comes back more in cold/wintery weather. Warmth definitely  helps to all body,, from joints to bones! Of course see GP but for a time being maybe try warm compresses on the painful area? Me...I can't separate from hot water bottle ? (well, it's usually "pass the parcel" with lil girl as she adores heat too! Seriously...she will lay on it all day long if not needy me trying  to teach her to share.

As time goes on, our physical  status is  not improving  (law of the nature I guess) so it's important  to take extra care of ourselves  and soothe these achy joints/bones/muscles. The only pain I feel now is exercise  pain which  I find kind of soothing...means I exercise  correct bits of the body lol..saying  that, I have a dodgy  knee and it's the problem  which comes back almost monthly  for me. It sometimes  makes a cracking  noise and it can be embarrassing  as I feel and look to others that am falling  to pieces ?

Hmm...look how quickly  it turned around about ME ME ME!!! Im blabbing  on as need to distract myself  I guess...been like that since yesterday  ....dreading the D day today but let's  get on with it and face it ☺

Wishing  you a good day, be kind to you & pls do book that apt!

S&B xx

Hi Charlieboy and wishing you an enjoyable weekend ahead. As SB28 says, always be kind to yourself and look out for yourself.  You are doing great, showing an infatigable spirit 🙂

Day340, good day....watched my son playing cricket.....a year ago I would have been present , but not present and would not of talked to people , other than the courteous " hello, how are you " Today I not only watched but sat next to my sons mates mother, we spent about 2 hours talking and laughing,it was fun, I enjoyed myself. This is what it's like to be present in the world and actually participate not just go through time like an empty shell. My mind was dead when I was gambling fixated and numb really, I actually feel things now, today I got a "high" from watching my son smacking a ball about !! I always log into Gamcare in the evening to read and keep myself grounded, and that has been my only gambling related thought today!! How fabulous is that ...

Posted by: Charlieboy

Day340, good day....watched my son playing cricket.....a year ago I would have been present , but not present and would not of talked to people , other than the courteous " hello, how are you " Today I not only watched but sat next to my sons mates mother, we spent about 2 hours talking and laughing,it was fun, I enjoyed myself. This is what it's like to be present in the world and actually participate not just go through time like an empty shell. My mind was dead when I was gambling fixated and numb really, I actually feel things now, today I got a "high" from watching my son smacking a ball about !! I always log into Gamcare in the evening to read and keep myself grounded, and that has been my only gambling related thought today!! How fabulous is that ...

You're doing really well Charlieboy and social events are wonderful therapy.

Funny about the numb feeling. Sometimes that was exactly why I gambled, to numb my mind - to escape anxiety or fear/facing up to things. Often that numbing would help things blow over. These days I have to approach them in different ways - meditation helps.

Keep enjoying yourself 🙂 !

Day 350 !! Chugging along day at a time. Well today I went shopping....this for me is a big deal, taking my self care to next level. I actually sat in a chair and let a really lovely lady look at my skin (around the mask of course) and advise me about skin care and cover up make up. Now I know people will read this and think ....that's nothing, but to me it's ...wow. I came out spending £45 on myself !! and really feeling pleased with myself. Blast back to the past, to a time where I really took pride in my appearance, today has been a good day a really good day. Absolutely no thoughts of gambling , keep on moving forward day at a time