Online slots...

Thank you Loxxie, you have reminded me that I can't do anything about the past Birthday and Christmas efforts...which wasn't really and effort coz I never had any money to celebrate, to spoil the ones I love, which I think in turn probably made me gamble more, guilt, feel sorry for myself, so turn to the slots. Not anymore! I've bought a few Xmas presents already. I'm not goin to be able to buy expensive gifts or anything, as still have debts to pay etc but my mind is so much clearer to make an effort other ways. Like days out walking in the crisps air with a flask of coffee, so simple, but when you're a ga simple things go out of the window. Cooking Xmas dinner for my friends, and playing board games...something the do every year for years , but I either cancel at the last minute and don't go, or I sit there feeling rubbish, embarrassed and low exchanging gifts and I have to say I owe you, or its something rubbish! This year is going to be the biggest effort I've made for a long time and I absolutely can not wait to feel that proudness and not feel so rubbish at my favourite time of year! So thank you for your post, as its reminded that I can make things better and I can't do anything about the past! C x

38 weeks : )
Jeez if I was pregnant id be nesting about now !
Thank goodness im not.... I'll settle for being gamble free..with
Money to my name and feeling
Content with life....and more importantly not feeling the need to run to a slot machine...
X

Just wondering where you'd gone to :)) Thought just because I called you big " L " you'd done one , glad to see haven't west country lass .

Your always cleaning and redecorating so maybe 38 weeks could mean your ???? :)).

Just don't call it Deanoooooooooooooo :(( .

xx

Thank loxxie. Huge congrats too, doing amazingly! C x

Oy , you !! There's no excuse for rudeness or poking fun at the elderly :(( .

Hope your pump gets clogged ! LOL x

Slabs she was mentioning a bed of rose's to pitch her tent on.
She's reeet posh is lady twinks
X

Hi Loxxie,

I realised that you've supported me a huge amount this past 6 months, but that I've never actually read your diary, so I had a little read this afternoon. Congrats on 38 weeks and well done for keeping such an inspirational diary. Thanks for the continued support! Not long off a year now x

Alright West country bird , I give in where you hiding ?

Been a bit quiet on here with no cheery morning posts to make me smile when I get up :((

So unless you and Martin have eloped ? coz he seems to have gone awol to , about time for an update young lady :))

XX

Ps Just realised it's hubby's birthday this week , soz ! x

Hi loxxie,
Just dropping by to say hi, hope you're OK and your hubby enjoyed his birthday treat.
Not sure if you've been with your daughters yet to watch the bodyguard but if you have I hope that was fab too. x

Soooo...
What to report diary !
Nothing exciting....
Nothing I can't handle. ..
Nothing that's not " normal life " !
So I'm happy with that...
My tiny little pub has had the best summer since I've been here...
Visitors from local b and b have kept me on my toes. ..
And are still coming down now...
Functions are coming in as well....so cash flow is good....and obviously better now I'm not pouring into an online slot !
Love having a little in reserve...
I've even opened an extra day at request from locals....so will see how that pans out over next few months...
For those on here that have known me from the start...me and hubby...well. ..I don't know...I suppose we've bumbled along all our married life...don't think we've ever sung completely from the same song sheet...but it's ok...
He never mentions my addiction...he knows im not active...everything is transparent...so he can check up anytime...we do things together...but I suppose it's like a lot of couples who've been together so long...but like old slippers really lol....anyway...what will be will be....it doesn't scare or worry me ...we can't plan everything....what I do know now...is that when we have an " iffy" spell....I don't turn to the slots for comfort....I can just say...'whatever ...that's life " !
lots to look forward to in next few weeks....then Xmas...which for the first time in years....I'm actually quite excited...
Some difficult times ahead as well....4 year old grandson who was born at 26 weeks has got some pretty major surgery next month....double whammy...worring about him...and my daughter...but I'll cope...I'll be there for them both. .100%...
Other daughter not completley happy in her relationship....unsure how that will pan out....but again...I can't do anything about it except be there for her...which I am..
Several of my customers. ..which are obviously friends are having problems of there own....I listen...say what I think...but have to be carefull not to get involved...and actually it's all good...I can listen now......really listen....and hopefully it helps them....
I think most people in life are fighting monkeys on there shoulders.....just different breeds !. ..and I've come to realise it doesn't matter who/ what were fighting....it's the way we deal with it that matters....I don't judge people....I don't expect people to judge me....we're all walking different paths....it's the paths we choose....that matter....so as individuals we have to be
responsable and happy with the route we take ....it's our choice...
I'm comfortable now with my choices....I'm always open to advice to improve anything in my life.....but today...I'm happy with my lot.....
And that is only down to me....
Because I made a choice....
A choice to tackle my addiction head on....
It works....if you want it to...
So....to any body struggling today....I'll pray that the strength I asked for in my first post for myself....and that has grown daily on my journey.....comes your way.....
Your own strength is there. ...
Your life will get better.....
You've just got to make the choice...
X

Hi loxxie that's an inspirational post gives me hope Day 3 best wishes

Oy ! What happened to the 7 O'clock posts we used to get ? now I have to wait till midday for an update LOL ! but it was worth the wait as it was a lovely post Loxxie :))

I know the feeling with your pub being busy , I'm the same with the shop sometimes , it gets a bit all or nothing at moments and you don't have 5 mins to take a pooh :)) .

So lots going on in your world at the moment then Hun , I know your more than capable of doing everything you need to do in order to steady the ship when you have to and the important thing like you said is that at least your there now dealing with life's daily shi'te instead of running away to bury your head in some slot machine , it shows how far youve come my luvverly and I'm so proud of you and even prouder to have been able to walk alongside you on your journey , youv'e helped so many people on here with your words of wisdom and it's great to see someone like yourself who's been through it come out the other side and pass your knowledge forward :)) I know you'll just take it all in your stride but I just wanted to say a big thank you for always being there ( You don't like a fuss but you needed a bit of a P**f of smoke blowing somewhere I can't mention without being censored ) .

Have a great day Lox and love to you and your's xx

Lol , Lol , I knew someone would sniff it out , excuse the pun :))

Honestly though they asterix out S.od ? Really

xx

Hi Lox , Your a poet and didn't know it ? The bad jokes must be rubbing off for sure , that's my plan to talke over the world , well? Gamcare at least and have em all spouting off rubbish jokes :))

I thought it was a little quiet on here TBH as some of the old gang dissappeared , does make me think something strange is going on because as soon as you posted , that Northern Rambler turned up again posting Uuuuumh , cuiroser and curioser ? .

I was going to respond again to admins reply regarding all things sexual but I thought better of it ? EEEEEh , when I were a lad I'd have Rambled all day !! LoL sounded like Martin there didn't I ? .

Anyhooose , hope you have a busy weekend me luvverly and all your wishes come true .

The old Hipster xx

That's another fine mess he's got me into !! xx