seeking tranquillity

I’d like to point out that what I’m saying is by no means ideal in recovery, but it just happens.

It’s then up to each individual to decide where to take it from there. Obviously you can’t go your whole life trying to be gamble free whilst checking odds, imagining goal-scorers etc. But hopefully those thoughts ease out over time as you train your brain and educate yourself further on your own personal gambling addiction.

FZ doesn't appear to have been gambling for an overly long time from his original post so I'm not sure a long standing relationship analogy is particularly apt but even if someone were to FB stalk a previous relationship it's not healthy behaviour. Better surely to stick to day after match reports if watching live is triggering urges and hypothetical calculations.

No, I quite agree, FB stalking an ex isn’t healthy behaviour.... but people (including myself) have done that kind of thing, certainly at the beginning of a break up.

Anyway, we’ll have to agree to disagree on this one.

I’m not saying this is what I do! I’m saying it’s normal behaviour for some people to do think these kind of things in the early stages of recovery.

Nobody has said anything about holding out a candle and remembering the good times. It’s called ‘a habit’. A habit that hopefully gets shaken off as time goes by.

Are you telling me that you had no urges or thoughts along the same sort of lines in the early stages of recovery? Even if just minor? After 40 years of gambling?

I think you’ll find that most people do it’s just FZ just happened to write down his exact thoughts on his diary.

Yes, I agree, you have to accept your powerless but that doesn’t stop some people thinking those type of thoughts. Even if they have no temptations to follow through with them.

Anyway, FZ doesn’t need me to fight his battles for him.

We’ll have to agree to disagree.

I must say though, it’s a bit cocky of you to claim, “that’s where I’m going wrong”....

I too reached the same amount of days as you are currently on in the middle of last year, before relapsing. Don’t get too ahead of yourself.

I sincerley hope you do go on to bigger and better things in the long term but please don’t come out with comments like that. It screams of arrogance.

Dan,

People have pretty much zero chance of stopping if alongside watching sport they are checking a dozen emails tempting them to bet, worrying about who scored etc, etc.

I can watch football as I rarely used to bet on it. I would be frankly insane however to watch racing, live or on TV,

Equally I’ve had some brilliant weekends and weeks away with long time friends at race festivals here and in Ireland - you just have to let part of your life go.

Firstly, just wanted to apologise FZ for inferring that one your previous posts was 'full of fluff' - as Dan has rightly pointed out - you were just writing you're exact thoughts at the time and I should have been more respectful of that.

However all signs point to a gambling problem, spending 15 hours a day thinking about gambling is a gambling problem mate, you haven't indicated if you're getting any help for this yet... Get some.

re. Watching sport after gambling thing, as I have mentioned before... I'm done with sport. It has become meaningless for me. It happened naturally and that's why I know it's different this time... In so many previous recoveries sport drew me back in to gambling. Read this unassuming comment from ALN again, its most powerful:

ALN wrote: For me, sport is irrelevant, time and health is all that matters now.

That my friends, is the difference between a problem gambler and someone who has taken problem gambling to the brink of their own destruction. I am the latter too. This is not a pain competition of course, I am merely attempting to help illustrate why ALN has the views he has. For me however, it's not black and white. Some people will recover effectively and continue to watch and enjoy sport, hell - some people will even recover without using this site or GA. I still think problem gambling is a spectrum and those at the far end just simply cannot watch sport, those towards the other end may be able to watch it hand in hand with recovery. ALN is merely warning that there is every chance you can slip down the spectrum towards the more dangerous end as a result of sport watching. Me, whilst I sort of agree with ALN's rationale - I won't and shouldn't judge those that continue with sport whilst in recovery, if anything im just jealous and bitter :o) so once again, apologies for calling out your previous post FZ.

Don't be too harsh on ALN, this is a man that has experienced so much pain and destruction in his life as a result of gambling that he would not wish the same level of pain on his worst enemy, let alone fellow CG's, hence the desperation to protect you from this pain with straight forward sincerity and honest reflection based on his experience.

You may continue to watch sport, you may not, you may continue to gamble, you may not. All I know is that my door is always open if/when anyone wants to chat or needs some support, regardless of circumstances. All the best.