Still no gambling! (24/05/13)

Hi jace.

Thanks for your comments on my diary. Massive congrats to you for 50 days of life improvement. Long I hope may it continue for you. It seems amazing how you can tell gambling has gripped the nicest of people sometimes from reading through so many peoples diaries.

Still, onwards and upwards. Everyday not gambling is a step closer to stopping for good.

Mike

Day 52: 14/7/2013

Thanks for the replies guys. Really helps a lot having the support!

Well the milestone of 50 days have been and gone and without realizing really. Had a full week at work which means I should get a decent August pay packet which is obviously good news and will be the first test to be wise with my money.

4 weeks now till my holiday. Will be good to get away and to actually spend some money as that is what it is there for!

Looking forward to Day 100 now I suppose!

Hey Jace,

well done on reaching 50 days, think you are 1 day ahead of me. It's good that you have your holiday to look forward to, you deserve that with all your hard work, and having that little extra spare cash will make it a real nice time.

stay strong and have a great week.

Phil

Thanks Phil, it's getting very real now, just been a bit tentative about money obviously, but I should be ok to make the most of my 2 weeks away.

Day 55: 17/7/13

Had some more good news from my university today as they are letting me take my one remaining resit a week earlier than scheduled due to my holiday.

They didn't have to, but I have been given a chance to rectify my wrongs. Someone must be looking out for me!

Still totally clean from gambling which of course is great news, just got to tackle another demon and lose some weight as I didn't think things got so bad on that front until I tried on my suit trousers for a funeral tomorrow and none of them fit.

Still, time to apply the 'one day at a time' thinking and get back into shape!

Day 59: 21/7/13

Another week has gone and still gamble free. Pretty uneventful week just running low on funds thanks to stupid things like eating! Just gotta take it real easy this week as I don't get paid till a week on Monday. Still I have a little safety net of a a £100 overdraft just in case, but I don't like going into that at the best of times. Should be fine all the same.

A week of work, revision and the cinema is ahead. None of that gambling thing!!

Hope everyone else is staying strong out there!

Jace

JT,

Thanks for the post on my diary, which is much appreciated. I am on my second diary and have been on the forum for just under a year and a half. I managed to go ten months gamble free when I first came here and relapsed through stupidity. Anyway, I am back fighting again.

It is great to read about the progress you are making. I remember when I first came here and reached one hundred days I looked back and realised that my life had completely turned around during that time. That will be your next milestone. Enjoy it when it comes.

Tomso.

Hi Jace

Thanks for the post on my diary and your kind words of support!

Just had a read through your diary and can see a lot of similarities in my own recovery. The main one being the burden of debt and self loathing. As you've got past 2 months you probably don't feel the self loathing as much as a lot of time has passed but the debts don't go away as easy.

I constantly think about my debts and often get down thinking about them. All i would say is that it doesn't change anything by dwelling on it al the time, just look to the future and see any repayments as a step forward. They will reduce and the main thing is that they don't increase by gambling again,

You've got a lot to look forward to as well which is very important. Keep chipping away at the debt and keep your head up and enjoy that holiday.

Take care mate,

Jimboo

Thanks Jimbooooo and Tomso.

Yeah, the debt is one of the lasting effects from our actions and because it is constantly in our face it does lead to that self loathing. Luckily, I have gotten away quite lightly, but in saying that, this was like a third relapse so overall it is worse, but there is no point dwelling on that. Fingers crossed, come the end of September, I should be totally debt free and have a bit of free money for a change. That is when I have to be careful not to relapse, but hopefully, with some stronger self control and the support on here, I'll be better prepared this time. It'll be nice to reach the milestone of 100 days, but I still don't truly feel I've been tested atm as the means have not been there to gamble. For me, if I can make it through till the end of 2013, that will be a bigger reward as I should be able to see positive changes in both my actions and bank account.

And just a quick diary update

Day 63: 25/7/2013

Spent a little more cash on me which was nice, though I have just touched into my overdraft. Still pay day on Monday/Tuesday should correct that so not long. I do prefer the days when I can freely spend without the fear of being in the red.

I don't understand where my lack of value for money actually comes from. All I know is that it was always about wanting to keep what money I had and just spend what I won. Really, I shouldn't have been worrying too much as I did have plenty of money really, but just wanted more expensive things that I didn't really need. I do need to work on that for next time.

Roll on those few days till payday!!

Hey Jace,

thanks for your message on my diary, so glad that you are able to spend some money on yourself, a fantastic reward for the efforts you have put in. And it is great that you do worry about money and place some value on it, something that we weren't doing a couple of months ago.

keep up the great work and have a great weekend

Phil

Day 66: 28/7/2013

Well the week feels like it has gone slow as I am anxiously awaiting pay day (hopefully tomorrow). Have worked a 5 day week again so my pay at the end of August should be good again and really be a good base to start again.

Played a little football this morning, which has been really helping my fitness as I want to get my stamina back/weight down, in order to play for longer.

Oh yeah: two weeks tomorrow is the beginning of my holiday. Just really hope the taxman stays away from my wages though. I'm not going to earn anywhere near my tax code and I have plans to change most of my earnings for this month into $.

Stay strong people

Jace

Hey Jace thanks for the post on my diary and well done for doing so well, support means a lot in these early days so thank you. Keep strong and looking forward to that holiday x

Day 69 31/7/2013

I got paid, and all my money has gone...but at least it was on Dollars, Car Rentals and Travel Insurance!! Didn't get all my money this month due to a clerical error as well as National Insurance, but my mom helped me out with a little extra which I am very grateful for.

So, now is another month with no (English) money and I think I can safely say no gambling, I just have to enjoy my holiday!!

Well done and what a fab feeling that must be - money gone but this time for a genuine reason and something to look forward to. Well done and good luck, moving on xx

Day 73: 04/8/2013

All is still going well, even with the return of competitive English football. Cannot say that there was any incline to put a bet on, even though I looked at some fixtures with winners in mind. I don't think that will every go away, instead I just need to be disciplined enough to never put any money on any game.

Anyway, things are going well outside of gambling. Another weekend of work, cinema, playing football and then sleeping which passed the days. Have my Spanish resit exam this week which I hope goes well and apart from work, it should be a pretty stress free week.

Just 8 day left till I fly out till LA now! Really excited now. I'm glad that I've changed enough so far for this to still be happening.

JT,

Thanks for your post on my dairy and well done for the continued improvement you are showing in your life.

Enjoy L.A. I have been to a few places in America and absolutely loved every minute of it.

Tomso.