Hi guys, I am embarrassed like never before. I Had given up for over 346 days and Cheltenham can around and I relapsed. My mates were all buzzing for Cheltenham and the temptation got the better off . I thought I could control it and yes I did ok but it led me into that big black hole again. I didn’t know who I was becoming all I could think of was betting. The 346 days I was GF was the happiest I have been with myself. The past few weeks I have been like a run away roller coaster. Had paid so much of my debt off and had £500 in the bank. Going along nicely until that first bet. I was up and down an up and down. Today was the nail in the coffee. I sat and said to myself I am better that this do I really want to go another day trying to win my money back or just get back to being gamble free and enjoying life again. Here I am guys licking my wounds big time. Disgusted with myself to a whole new level. The feeling is really bad right now.
Hi aliwonton, I totally understand your upset and how disgusted you are with yourself. But wow 346 gamble free days that is fantastic so brush yourself down and get into the frame of mind that allowed you that gamble free time. You don't say how much financial damage you have done but it's peanuts compared to what you would of done in 346 days isn't it. The damage that you have done to yourself is worse than the money isn't it ? So dig deep swallow your pride and go again, you can do it again and get that happy feeling back. Take care don't beat yourself up it won't help
Hi Ali,
I once went 4 years without gambling and placed a stupid football bet on the first day of the new football season when out with friends for a few drinks before going to the game. Within a week I was back behind a roulette wheel.
What occurred next was a year long dive straight back to horrendous gambling but worse than ever. Actually, it didnt get horrendous until several months down the line and the losses started, then it became horrendous and worse than ever.
After the initial relapse I came here and many forum friends advised me to quit immediately. I didn’t. Now I’m trying to advise you. Don’t do it. It will be worse than before. Its ok to relapse but its not ok to continue with pre-meditated gambling. You’ve done so well before and you must do so again.
Be careful.
RR
Charlieboy and RR thank you so much for your kind words they mean so much. I am nearly in tears reading these comments as early I felt disgusted and hated myself as I have let myself down so much. The thing I know that let me put my guard down was everyone I spoke to kept going on about Cheltenham and I made the mistake and had a look the temptation beat me. I have only relapsed 2 weeks but it feels like a life time of regret and the pain me for the coming months. Yous are right the loses are harder to take and the pain is not worth it. 346 days and not once did I hate myself cause everything I tried to do was for the good. I am a compulsive gambler and always will be cause that first bet that annoys me the switch clicks and I want to win my money back so much. It means a lot for people understanding. I feel better already as I have spoken out about it and admitted I have been wrong.
What's done is done Aliwonton. Respect to you for being honest and upfront.
I look forward to following your progress over the coming weeks and months as you continue on your journey of recovery.
Aum ?
Dear @aliwonton1,
A huge well done for coming on here and being honest about your lapse. Actually the very fact that you've done this shows that all the hard work the previous 346 days was not for nothing.
Take RR's advice - dust yourself off and put the blocks back into place. Tighten them up a bit if necessary. You got this. But take action now.
Wishing you all the very best,
Eva
Forum Admin
You sound really hurt but in a way that's a good thing and this needed to happen. I've relapsed twice in my life, once after 8 years ended in disaster, another last year, 1st time round it crept up on me I began playing free poker to satisfy the urges but hoped to use small winnings and build it up. Then last year I cannot explain why I done it, largely because I wasn't thinking about it enough so now I've set targets on here and I post semi regularly and other times I come on to read and sometimes comment, this consistency gives me a great chance! Good luck, ps if your friends don't know that's a problem
Thanks for all the positive comments guys. I am on Day 5 GF. feeling a lot better. I never gambled for 1 year and was the best I have felt in my life. I am a compulsive gambler and always will be. Online gambling is not for online gamblers as the app is there and can be used 24 hours a day. Life is hard enough at times without wasting money on gambling. Take it day by day and dust myself down again and be strong to not give into temptation. You never see a poor bookie that’s the saying that tells you all that has to be said.
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