Sucker4Lyf's Diary

Earlier today I nearly deposited money to a poker site to have "one more shot" but instead I came to this forum to remember how bad and horrible I feel after I lose all my money.

Lets see what tomorrow brings.

Hi S

Well done for coming on here instead of having one more shot

Tomorrow can mean something if you think I have had my last shot that's it over done and dusted because you will never win and if you do it will probably only be a loan cos you will put it all back and more that's what CGs do

I wish you well on abstaining from this destructive addiction

Suzanne x

Thanks for the message!

I was having a urge to deposit 25 earlier but instead I emailed the site and told them I am a compulsive gambler and they've now closed down my account. I will be emailing every site I can think of tomorrow.

No more gambling for me.

Day 2:

Woke up with some urges to deposit on a poker site earlier, I didn't follow though....

Hopefully we can keep it that way.

Thanks for posting on my diary. Keep up the good work. You can do this mate.

How pathetic, I had a slip already. $10.... 6 god d**n quid. Jesus.

I am so pathetic, time to get gamblock, maybe I needed this to show how stupid it is?

Day 1 for real starts tomorrow.

Enough is enough.

im not gonna say its fine having a slip because to be to blazay about it is just plain wrong , but what i would say is before i really stopped i had 2 slips , each time the money wasted less and less. We are all differentso amounts dont matter but i saw in myself with my last 2 slips the money wasted getting less each time telling me that slowly i was gaining control , not because i didnt have as much a bad time loosing but because i was gaining control to be able to slowly start to pull away bit by bit until the point of stopping for good . dont get me wrong before i found this site when i was going insane and remembering it now seriously , i was going insane couldnt think about anything else didnt care about anything else bar my son that is , and insane i was going as i was loosing grip on all reallity , thinking about it another year of gambling i think maybe the men in white coats would have come for me.

Sorry to rammble on ur diary but my Point is look at this slip as an experience, and as a slow but sure way to becoming gamble free, and i can tell you are more determined than ever , dont punish yourself too much just remember how you felt when you lost the next time you have an urge. Dont get me wrong its noy ok for another slip but these slips eventually make something click in our heads to make us eventually stop permenantley , [ did in my head ] well done for being prepared to not give up giving up , be a winner by not gambling

Thanks Tryer!

I honestly don't know why I did it, I had a poker client installed which I wasn't self excluded from and I opened it up to "have a look" then I saw a couple of little tournaments that I used to play and before I knew it I had $10 in my account.

Maybe I needed this stupid slip on day 2 to show how stupid I was.

No more, everytime I get an urge I will look at this diary and your words, I can't believe it tho, I ruined the start of my gamble free for $10..

Day 1 (Again)

Absolutely no urges to gamble, I have thought about it a little but there's no desire to find a site to deposit on.

It's going well... hope day 2 is just as good!

End of day 1 & feeling great about tomorrow, I have zero urges to find a poker site and deposit!

I can't wait for a week of being gamble free!

Day 2

Went well, no urges to gamble!

Day 3

I woke up with a little urge so I came on here instead, it's gone now!

Bring on day 4

Your doing really well mate and by coming on here when you feel the urges should ensure that you avoid acting upon them. I often find that my urges are triggered via gambling adverts on the TV (which are everywhere at the moment) or like driving past a bookie. But I said that if I get an urge I would take 5 minutes before acting upon it and think do I really need to gamble and also I visualise me coming onto here and having to tell everyone on my diary that i have slipped up and how bad Im feeling. Therefore it really isn't worth the hassle to gamble. Theres too many things more important in life than gambling. Wishing you the best and Ill have another read of your diary at the end of the week.

thanks hopelessjim, good luck with your gamble free journey!

Day 4:

I have just woken up and feeling great, no urges to gamble at all, I might be doing some overtime at work this week so I can have a little spare cash around.

When I was depositing on those poker sites I could never be bothered with overtime since it felt like I was only working to get extra cash for gambling but now I am really motivated!

gl everyone who is on the same gamble free journey.

Hi S

Day 4 well done

Keep strong and determined and have a good day

Suzanne x