The diary I should of done 9 months ago

Not checked in for a couple of months now, actually since I hit my 1 year GF anniversary! I'm still going to post on my diary but just probably not as many entries as last year. Was going to do a post the other day but wanted to do one when the time felt right. So roughly early this month 2 years ago I had just taken out another loan. 20K to be exact. Within a few days I blew it all and also had myself in some serious debt to go with it. My life was a mess! But as I've mentioned before in most my posts, I've done everything I needed to do, kept my head down and I'm now over a year gamble free and slowly paying my debts off. I always look back and think it wouldn't be possible to stop gambling! Imagine how much worse my situation would be if I still carried on for another 2 years. That week/month was bad enough! There would be no way that I could of possibly happened anyway as I couldn't afford to survive and the truths all had to come out and yes it was obviously the best thing that could of happened, it's literally saved me from myself. I still have a massive road ahead of me to get completely free of my debts and money back to the amazing people that have helped me! Even though I've made some horrible choices that effect me and my family pretty much everyday, I stay strong! I have too, you can't buckle. But when that day comes boy am I going to celebrate ? 

Take care guys ?

Not checked in for a couple of months now, actually since I hit my 1 year GF anniversary! I'm still going to post on my diary but just probably not as many entries as last year. Was going to do a post the other day but wanted to do one when the time felt right. So roughly early this month 2 years ago I had just taken out another loan. 20K to be exact. Within a few days I blew it all and also had myself in some serious debt to go with it. My life was a mess! But as I've mentioned before in most my posts, I've done everything I needed to do, kept my head down and I'm now over a year gamble free and slowly paying my debts off. I always look back and think it wouldn't be possible to stop gambling! Imagine how much worse my situation would be if I still carried on for another 2 years. That week/month was bad enough! There would be no way that I could of possibly happened anyway as I couldn't afford to survive and the truths all had to come out and yes it was obviously the best thing that could of happened, it's literally saved me from myself. I still have a massive road ahead of me to get completely free of my debts and money back to the amazing people that have helped me! Even though I've made some horrible choices that effect me and my family pretty much everyday, I stay strong! I have too, you can't buckle. But when that day comes boy am I going to celebrate ? 

Take care guys ?

Just a real quick post as I haven't been on here for a while let alone post anything. My last post was in April which I'm taking as a good sign that I've not needed to do this as often like at the beginning when I was really struggling. As always looking forward to hitting the 2 year GF milestone next year in Feb. I've still been keeping my head down to pay off my debts, but the guilt of what I have put my family through will always remain the same!

First post of 2023, 711 days GF!

Looking forward to hitting 2 years GF!

Just been having a read through some of the recent post from everyone and it really hits home, it makes you feel like your not alone and it wasn't only me that got caught up in the addiction of gambling! My heart goes out to every last one of you, it's an absolutely horrible addiction ? I'm glad I'm not part of it anymore, and I'm very lucky to still have my family, friends, house, car, job you name it! I could of lost everything, thrown it all away! I'm super lucky to have these people in my life to help me out! Next post will probably be the 2 year anniversary but until then stay strong ?? ❤️ ?  xxx

I recently hit 2 years GF at the beginning of this month, I wanted to do this post earlier on in the month but have just been so caught up and haven't really been able to sit and write anything. I've just kind of felt overwhelmed with everything lately at the moment and not really been feeling like coming on here to write anything so have left it even though I've been wanting to post in here since the 2 year anniversary. I just feel abit all over the place in general and I'm unsure why, it's nothing to do with gambling but just everyday life. It feels like brain fog I guess if that's a thing, finding it hard to motivate myself and stop over thinking about silly little things. I'm sure this will all pass eventually but feels like it's been going on for some time now. I don't know, maybe things will be different when the clocks change and we have more daylight and the weather gets better, I'm sure this will pick me up and get me feeling back to my normal self. Anyways I didn't want this to be a long post buy I feel like I'm rambling and its getting out of control so I'll end it here. I guess some days are always better/worse than others.

I hope everyone is still doing well and staying strong and taking one day at a time to beat this horrible addiction!

Until the next post, take care guys!

Much love

Dean

2 years GF is a major achievement.  Well done!

I am at the other end.  Only 7 days GF and this is the hardest thing I have ever done.  Reading your thread and others is great for me.  So thanks for updating here.  It's great to identify with your experience and know that it's possible to beat.

Cheers ?

@thebean 

Thanks for the reply and congratulations on being a week GF! That's brilliant, I did find the first part is the hardest, it's gets easier as time goes on believe me. Just make sure you get the support and right tools in place. The site, team and people on here are really helpful, nearly everyone can realte to the same story and it makes it feel like your not on your own. Good luck on your journey to a cleaner, healthier GF life, you've got this! 

All the best

Dean

Hey everyone,

Just logged back in today and noticed that tomorrow I signed up 3 years ago, currently sitting at 2 years 3 months GF, as my title says "the diary I should of done 9 months ago" and still incredibly true. It made me think back and look at how far I've come and all the stuff I've gone through. How I wish I stopped when I first came on here, that could of been 3 years GF and potentially all my debts payed off. But I can't dwell on the past, I was so deep in my addiction I couldn't control myself but I did know one thing and that was that I needed help! I'm so glad 9 months later I came back and started over again and this time got things right. I'm still so thankful for all the help I received and its amazing to feel like your free! Really looking forward to hitting 1000 days this year! 

Take care everyone

Dean