I have decided to start a new diary in which I will endeavour to let go of the past.
Sad memories together with negative thoughts and emotions are like a ball and chain that I drag around for no good reason. What's done is done and can't be undone. It is good to accept responsibility for one's past actions and be prepared to atone for mistakes made but living in a street called 'Regret' serves no purpose whatsoever.
I attended a talk today by Dr Helen Pankhurst, the great granddaughter of Emmeline Pankhurst who was the driving force behind the suffragette movement in 1918. Remarkable people who never backed down but stood up for what they believed in.
Now more than ever I need courage, wisdom and self respect so that I can stand tall, be proud of who I am and be at peace with myself and the world around me.
I can do this.... stephen
What a great mindset, strength is our greatest ally!
Wow, what a great talk that would be! Must have put a lot of things into perspective. It does us good to remember what people have given up for the greater good.
You have this 🙂
Dx
Hi Stephen..... a big part of me doing so well this time around has been me being able to let got of the past, something that took me a long time to do but i could not truly move on untill i did, it held me back for so long .... i think its a great title for your new diary and look forward to seeing you leave your past mistakes behind and look forward to a better future .... have a good week ahead and keep up the good work.
Thank you Donna & Chartom for your support and encouragement.
I am sat on a bus watching the world go by and thinking that not much changes....Or does it!
My body consists of trillions of cells of which 95 million die and are replaced every minute of the day, so I am constantly changing. On top of that a part of my brain shrinks or dies every second of the day and that doesn't get replaced.
I feel like I am sitting still on the bus but it is travelling along at 20 miles per hour and I live on a planet that is spinning around with me on it at 1000 miles per hour. At the same time, me and the rock I call home are revolving around the sun at 66,000 miles per hour and if that wasn't enough me and the whole Milky Way are whizzing through space at 1.3 million miles per hour.
That means I am a long long way from my last bet and I am a different person.
Hi Stephen
I really appreciate your words on my diary, more than maybe you will ever know. I hope you enjoyed your walk and I hope you saved some celebration and realise how well you are doing yourself.
Really hoping you can break those shackles this time and regain your self worth and walk away from that next bet no matter how loud it calls.
All the best
Matt
Great title Stephen, time to stop punishing yourself and enjoy now and the future(easier said than done I know!) Everyone deserves some balance and happiness. Think of how far you have come not how far you'very got to go. I never thought I would get to this point, mainly through being impatient! Take care S x
Many thanks Matt & Sharon for your support and encouragement.
I read in the news earlier that the leader of the NHS is saying that premier league clubs should do more to tackle gambling addiction. Apparently 9 of them are sponsored by online gambling companies and the foreign ones don't make any contribution to organisations such as GamCare who are helping compulsive gamblers tackle their addiction.
Another article pointed out that fobt's (gambling machines in betting shops) generate £1.8 Billion in revenue a year for the betting industry, according to the gambling commision, and taxes of £400 Million for the government.
Hi Stephen, hope you're well. Have a lovely weekend pal.
Pras
Thank you Pras for posting on my diary. Life is good for me staying gamble free and I would really say i'm happy as can be.
Looking at my life with fresh eyes now that I don't gamble. In fact starting next thursday I will see the whole world more clearly as I am having the cataracts removed from my right eye followed by my left eye several weeks later.
I think I have finally come to realise that for people like me gambling is a definite no no. Words do not adequately describe the nightmarish repercussions, misery and torment that trash the life and soul of one afflicted by gambling addiction.
I am not a Buddhist so have decided to stop using Buddhist Mantras.
I now repeat in my mind the following affirmation/mantra which is more relevant to my recovery and rolls off the tongue quite nicely:
"One Two Three Gamble Free Is The Way To Be For Me"...... I might tap my fingers at the same time.
One Two Three
Gamble Free
Peaceful - calm - tranquility
"There are none so blind as those who will not see."
I myself was deluded and living in a fantasy world but GamCare along with fellow travellers have opened my eyes. By offering me guidance, wisdom and encouragement they have given me hope and renewed my sense of purpose.
This diary of mine is now a sanctuary where I can gather my thoughts, gain understanding and savour my new found freedom.
Excellent day today. Had a swim late afternoon and than went to my Salsa class in the evening.
A bit apprehensive because I visit the eye hospital on Thursday for an operation on the cataracts in my right eye and than in several weeks time they will operate on the left one. Not looking forward to it one bit but hopefully it will improve my vision.
I will stay off my tablet for a few days after the operation to rest my eyes.
Feeling pleasantly calm, self assured and reasonably content.
Master of my own destiny and happily accepting responsibility for my actions.
On this gamble free adventure I will explore new opportunities and broaden my horizons.
Take care of yourself Stephen, rest up and enjoy the GF life Sx
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