The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride (1987 film)

(It's as real as the feelings you feel)

Scaling the Cliffs of insanity.

Battling Rodents of Unusual Size. 

Facing Torture in the Pit of Despair

True love has never been a snap.

It never ceases to amaze me, how open people are with support on here and become friends in such a short time. I have friends on here that I feel I have known for a lifetime. So this film topics is a little obscure. I have met a person in this space. He is an incredible human being and works tirelessly to help and support others. He has the gift of knowing what to say at the right time. He is the epitome of the saying that the pen is mightier than the sword. I feel like I've known this kindred spirit all my life and he has become one of my best friends overnight. I don't let people in lightly but he is welcome. So, he set a challenge to use his favourite film and mention a sentence in this topic. I've had to use some poetical licence and include the film byline and the description but the topic is all about feelings.

This is only from my own standpoint and I would again love to hear other people's experiences as we are all unique and different people on our own journeys.

When I started into recovery and left the pain behind which had driven me to a state of numbness, I think it was Adam Lyons of the modern meeting said on a podcast that the best thing about recovery is getting your feelings back and the worst thing is the same.

My first couple of weeks, emotions came flooding back but were obscured by depression and anxiety. I had no doubt suppressed these through my addiction and it came through in absolute abundance like a thunderbolt. Can't say I found it helpful or fun at any point but maybe it was a form of healing. I was waiting for the best part of Adam's words to come to fruition. That didn't take long. All the negative characteristics weren't completely gone and no doubt never will be. Buddhist monks spend years practicing and learning a simple good life so there is no way I would get to that state today or in the future. That said my feelings did return. I personally can't agree that I was never present in life through my gambling career. I know that there are plenty of memories where I was "In the room" or I would have gone insane. That's not to say that I was present all the time of course. So over a period of time feelings and emotions returned and continue to do so. I take stock each night with my inventory from the 12 steps to complete a daily reflection and note what can be improved. I have always loved my partner, children and family but pretty much overnight, the depression lifted and the love took a much powerful form. I could truly appreciate people for who they were, not what I wanted them to be. I recognised that my thoughts and feelings were mine and theirs were theirs, not to be manipulated, gaslit and convinced to my thinking. Sympathy became empathy. Talking became listening. Self hate because self love. All my emotions returned and it has been amazing. It's one of the biggest reasons I have not to return to that dark space again where this amazing life does not exist. Life isn't perfect but that's ok and having my emotions back means I can tackle life on life's terms.