Hi All.
I have found this site after finally realising that what began 24 years ago watching my father play fruit machines in public houses, has for the past number of years morphed into a compulsive online addiction to slots. what started as a fun and inquisitive insight in to Vegas has empowered a demon in my life. I even ensured that Vegas was a destination on our honeymoon to see it play out in real life.
An unfortunate truth that has cost me upwards of 25k now in debt, countless pointless arguments with the wife in the supermarket over spending an extra 1 on a particular item, when I bet 4 times that on one spin, and her wondering rightly where all my money has gone when I say we need to be careful this month (i'm extremely fortunate and blessed to have worked hard to have a very good job). She knows something amiss I'm sure.
The embarrassment and stupidity is immense my personal inner strength has not matched this.
It has all come to a head. Last Wednesday i managed to drop 1,300 in the matter of two hours. At one stage 30 a spin in pure hope of chasing. All of this despite the fact I have banned myself from various sites and set limits galore but just keep joining the next new casino that pops up (when will this abate), I'm even arguing since last Thursday with the last one to try and get a refund as i believe they are from the same group of another I have excluded myself from. 50 emails back and forth - at least this addiction is not costing me anything.
I'm here to say hi and look to share experiences of how people have managed to exorcise the slots demon. I even watch bloody people on YouTube playing the d**n things. For crying out loud how sad is that!!
My gambling addiction is odd. With football I can bet purely for fun and rarely would even consider going above a 15 on an acca. I can go weeks without and don't ever feel a need to do it. It's fun.
But those slots, those d**n slots- its in my blood, my head, there is no catharsis without playing! even winning brings only a more insatiable drive to play more. And then reverse the winnings when all is lost.
So that is me and why I am here- I have found you thank god.
Hi to all - I look forward to engaging with fellow human beings (rather than the d**n online slot software) and overcoming this affliction together. I have to. I simply have to.
Welcome to this site,here you will find all the help you need.take it day at a time and the bet free days will build up.we cant win because we cant stop av tryed to control it for years but not enough is enough.i have a problem like you and have chose to stop. Goodluck in your recovery.
Scottyboy
Welcome
how sad is that watching u tube videos of slots , not really sure what slot are and kinda dont ever want to , as have very nearly ruined my life through roulette .
IM NOT saying your sad by doing that by the way , im saying it is but dont feel alone i have done it watched clips on u tube watched special short videos , over and over again , ecspecially ones of how to win and ones that give you a perfect system , and then would be god d**n talking to myself for the next 2 weeks planning it out in my head how im going to play while still playing at same time , but talking to myself out loud , and to a point of not even knowing i was doing it , this addiction lierally was sending me crazy and not just in this way many more . i have realised on this site while reading a few different diaries we are all different , male or female , different ages , have different jobs come from different parts of the country , some on here from different countries , like different sports ect.. like me i hate football its seems pointless but alot of people on here love it but yet we all have something in common we are all compulsive gamblers, but ive got to be honest i would rather play football every sunday morning for the rest of my life than ever play one game of roulette again , as roulette /gambling its pointless and weather its the way the game is designed or our brains for the reason we get addicted and loose i still havnt worked this one out i suppose it could be both , but either way not me im not gambling again tried other things aswell , poker , football bets ect .. its all a load of s**t . and the irony i hate football but still bet on it as i was addicted to gambling .
Sorry to rammble on about myself on your diary just wanted to let you know your not the only one , we have all been there done it got the t shirt ect...
have you thought of getting it out in the open telling your wife ect.. it might give you that extra strengh ? as if you have done this for many years you might need a rock to cling to , also if you tell her ur on here she will see your serious and then hopefully back you . Anyway mate be a winner at gambling by not gambling , its the only way to win at gambling trust me im sure you really know that allready , all the best simon
one big point i forgot to mention , forget your losses , until you do that you will not be able to fully stop , well i couldnt anyway , again all the best
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