Time to beat this addiction for good!

Day 21

Into the twenties now, and a full week since my last payday and so far have managed to stay gamble free.

Work has been stressful the past couple of days, usually I'd alleviate that stress by gambling (at least that's the excuse I'd tell myself) but so far I have managed to resist the temptation. 

Have a couple of car issues that need to be sorted, so cannot afford to waste any money at this point. 

Taking each day as it comes, and feeling a little prouder with each milestone. Sunday will mark 25 days, just need to get there.

Sounds like you are doing really well and that's a massive three weeks !!! The number soon starts to add up and I'm glad you can recognise the triggers. At this point I started to receive counselling from Breakeven which alongside the 8pm chatroom on here and my GA meetings really helped 

Day 23

Thank you for the kind words of support Stuart, every day feels like a big step in the right direction.

Feeling optimistic going into the weekend, have a few things planned which I hope will take my mind off any urges (although they will always be lingering in the back of my mind).

Still having low moments from time to time, which I'm telling myself is completely natural as I've wasted thousands of pounds to this horrible addiction over the years, and let so many people down.

Going to the gym regularly is helping, as well as being more disciplined with what I eat.

This time next week will mark 30 days gamble-free, just need to take each day at a time and work towards that next milestone. 

Day 28

It's now been 4 full weeks since I last gambled, and while I still get urges I've felt largely OK.

I do still have some money worries (my car needs a lot of work which is going to run into the thousands) but I'm confident I can pay for that without having to take out a loan or borrow from elsewhere.

These anxieties are nothing new to me though, my entire adult life has been lost to this addiction and constantly worrying over every little thing is just the norm.

2 more weeks until payday, if I can make it to then it'll a big achievement for me. 

Congratulations, four weeks done which is amazing, be surprised if you would have said that on day one. Day one I didn't think I could do 28 minutes let alone 28 days.

Sounds like you are coping with life on life's terms as well which is a fantastic move forward. Something like financial stress was always an easy excuse for me to give into the addiction and experience the usual numbness rather than face up to problems and work out a solution beyond gambling. Stay strong mate, you are doing amazing

Is life feeling better now you aren't chained to the addiction ?

Stuart

Day 29

Thank you Stuart, appreciate your support, and yes things are slowly starting to feel better day by day. 

Currently full of cold but still going into work as it's hectic. In the past I'd feel sorry for myself in this situation and spiral into another relapse, wasting anything from £100 - £300. I'm reaching a point where I don't know what I'd do if that ever happened again, which again I see as a huge plus.

I've been making small changes which have benefitted me, for instance charging my phone away from my bedside so I don't have the temptation to scroll (or worse, gamble) through the night.

Planning on doing absolutely nothing this weekend, probably take in a few films/TV shows/video games to tide me over while I battle this cold. May go and watch some local football if the weather isn't too bad. 

Day 34

Feeling extremely down, and things are really getting on top of me. I've accepted that I'm probably going to have money worries for the rest of my life thanks to the hole I've dug myself into , and it's going to take years, possibly decades to fully recover.

BUT - I've not gambled during this time, which is a big step in the right direction and something to cling on to.

I'm sure I'll get better as the week goes on, but right now I'm not feeling great.

Counting down the days to payday next Thursday...

Relapsed last night, blew around £150. Back to square one.

I'm completely ashamed of myself, such a weak person.

Got paid today but not feeling confident in the slightest. Am going to have to put more card freezes in place with my online banking, and if I continue to relapse will have to give my card to my parents. 

Hi

You aren't starting again. You put in well over a month of practice. You now know what that feels like so you aren't going into unknown territory. The bicycle has got a puncture. You have gambled one day so just mend the puncture and get back on the bike. Don't ride back to the start and forget about what the road was like to this point. You have experienced triggers and urges. You have learnt a lot in that first month and a bit so use that to drive forward again.

Stay strong today. Put the extra measures in place that you mentioned. Talk to someone if you are getting urges, come on here and talk yourself out of it. Go for a walk. Urges last a out half an hour then they are gone. Try and think of a barrier that lasts half an hour to do when you need to

Just my thoughts 

Stuart