Hey all.
Don't have the time to trawl back and find my old diary, but some of you will recognise my name from a few months ago.
I'm still on Mr B's challenge, but am pleased to say I have stayed clean, last gamble (and huge loss) was 20th February 2014, but by losing I have won my whole life back.
Although I am by no means out of the woods yet, and I know the demons are lurking in every corner, it feels refreshing to write this and not have to go back through painful reminders and re-live that day.
The one thing I did have to do was to go and create new memories of things which I associated with gambling, which was painful, but I did it and faced up to my issues. Certain songs, or places I used to go for example.
Occasionally I will see something to do with racing and my heart will still pound, a bit like a phobia (I'm like it with spiders!) but I just switch it off, or look away.
The biggest test for me will be in winter when I find it really depressing, and not much to do.
However, I made a commitment to the challenge, to my family, to the people on here kind enough to support my recovery, to myself and my friends that I will beat this once and for all.
I am still 100% committed.
Just wanted to let some new posters know that there is a little glimmer of hope out there, but you really have to be determined not to give in.
Hope the chat facility can stay open longer so I get to say Hi to you all again!
Hi tobeornot,Welcome back and thank you for the encouragement,I have only been on the site since Saturday and I am currently on day 5 of being "clean",Its good to read posts like yours,it gives me the motivation to keep going,its been a tough 5 days but im still here and still gamble free,Small steps and i WILL get to months and years without the devil that is gambling getting the best of me!
Hi Time4reform,
Thanks for the post and good to have you with us here.
I'm pleased my progress has helped you, as has the progress of others helped me.
It's something we have to live with, the demons are there but only time can heal and help us to think about it less.
In the early stages the key is definitely to keep busy, take up a new hobby or learn something new to keep your mind occupied.
Then let time do the rest, but never let that guard down.
It is horrible and feels hard, like when adverts come on the TV (which seems to happen ALL THE TIME at the moment) but you physically have to stop yourself and resist.
I won't pretend it's easy because it isn't, anyone here could tell you that, but it's our own personal challenge and one we know we must do for the sake of our lives.
Keep strong.
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