Mo & Charlotte,
Thanks for replying,
Today's been tough, drove past a number of betting shops but managed to use my will power and stay away. I really can't believe how naive I was while play these d**n machines thinking that it would have been my answer to everything.
Char, I read your diary the other week and have done a couple of times to be honest to check how your doing. I bet your little one isn't so little any more 🙂 hope your well and thanks for commenting.
Shaun x
Hi Shaun,
I am sorry to read of your recent relapse but do you know what it probably wasn't anywhere near the destruction you were creating when you first started gambling and didnt recognised the progressive illness that it is.
It is horrible when we desperately want to stop and have a relapse but each time it does make us stronger. I was doing so well myself lately then had a stupid night of destructive gambling. This time I realised I wasn't doing enough to overcome this illness and sat down to see if I could do anything else to help myself. I listed all the ususal things I already had in place i.e. Self exclusion, web filtering software, GA, this site, counselling etc and asked myself why if I was so desperate to stop I continued to gamble. I broke down each topic and realised all the resources were not being used properly eg I could still access the web on a mobile phone, I was going to GA but not applying the programme of recovery to my daily activities, I had not self excluded from every casino so I knew I was still allowing myself access to gamble. In a matter of days I resolved to tighten up every opportunity to help stop me from gambling and I did. There is still opportunity out there but I dont know about it yet and I dont want to know. I am committed to completing the 12 steps of recovery through GA and my sponsor and have a totally different perspective on my recovery now. I know it is early days for me but it may help you to do the same if you are absolutely determined to stop.
I really wish you well and will continue to read your diary with the hope you too can get back to a normal and sane life and most importantly have total peace of mind. Take one day at a time.
Best wishes
Hope x
Hi Shaun,
How r u?
I hope u r ok and staying strong 🙂
Speak soon xx
Hi Shaun,
I hope u r ok and still doing well 🙂
I wanted 2 thank u 4 all ur support and wish u and ur family a gr8 Christmas 🙂
Take care xx
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