Can you have 1 without the other?

CagedBird, from one affected other than another, please join GamFam and start going to weekly meetings. Also, get 1x1 counselling here with GamCare. This will help you feel seen and heard in your concerns and help enable you with more knowledge about addictions whilst meeting other people in similar situations. 

You did not cause it and you cannot cure him. You have to focus on you, for your sake and his. Keep going. You can do this! X 

Hi cagedbird

thats a very good question. In my opinion and experience, no. 

a gambling addiction is when it’s occupying you and causing financial harm.

its not up to us to understand. I have a different view from my husband.

unfortunately its an acceptable pastime 

in my opinion you shouldn’t gamble at all. No lottery, raffle, no financial outlay for gain. It keeps the ‘fire burning’.

my husband had to finally give up access to money altogether. He gambled for 30 years. It’s a progressive illness. 

you can still lose vast amounts of money at the races. It is part of social and culture. its very difficult and he will not want to give that up or perhaps admit to people he has a problem.

its not for us to say whether its ok to gamble, its about the gambler realising this is a problem. You wont stop a gambler gambling.

as said above learn about a gambling addiction, learn how to protect yourself. Get some support and counselling if you want it.

let him take responsibility for his actions

Gambling is gambling, it's not even about the money, that is secondary in most cases, it is about the buzz and adrenaline hit.   And once you have the addiction it will never go away, even if you find other hobbies, you have to exclude yourself from all forms of gambling.

Case in point, I don't do online gambling, I don't find horse racing interesting, but for years I played on the FOBTs and would spend hours watching those wheels "spin".   I eventually blocked myself using MOSES and didn't gamble for years, I rang up to extend and it had run out

Within 48 hours before I blocked it all again, I had visited the bookies twice. I actually won and could have walked out but instead I lost it all eventually losing about £300 (not about the money).   The money was affordable and inconsequential  on the scale of things, and actually a valuable lesson, the main thrust of my argument.   Addicts cannot control themselves without blocks in place and need to exclude themselves from gambling environments.

Your partner wants to go the races, but it's not about the sport otherwise he could watch it on TV, it is purely about feeding his addiction.  There are plenty of activities he could enjoy with friends/family/colleagues which would do not involve gambling, and if they were actually his family and friends, know about his addiction and cared about him they would engage in these rather than put an addict in a gambling environment

Hello

In my experience, NO. You can not. Gambling is literally everything to do with the word. Even if its lottery, horses, or pontoon with matchsticks. Steer clear of it all!!

Xx