Had an idea my partner is still struggling slightly with his addiction (he had a good few months but past two have been a bit manic), so I had a look on his phone to check if my gut was correct - unfortunately it was, but I didn't expect to find what I did.
He had started a virtual diary in his phone 'notes' section, as he felt he had hit an all-time low, as he'd taken his father's bank card and used £300 due to his situation financially at the moment (he is one of the most honest people you could meet, except for when it comes to his Gambling).
I've asked him if all is ok with his gambling at the mo as he knows he can talk to me, but he just keeps saying yes and not to worry, but I want him to talk to me - my question is, how the heck do I tell him I know how bad things are right now, without him knowing I looked at his phone? 🙁
He knows I don't judge, I truly just want to help him 🙁
I suppose honesty is the best policy - his gambling is stopping him being honest with you, so maybe you need to be brave, and honest with him.
I would tell him. There is something of a dichotomy in saying he is one of the most honest people you know while commenting that he has lied to you and also taken £300 from his fathers bank account.
Unless it is nipped in the bud the lies may get bigger and the situation may become unrecoverable
The best piece of advice is to financially separate all financial ties in any way shape of form.
i am afraid the only way to stop is not being afraid to confront him.This addiction doesn't like to be confronted. I am afraid real caring comes with being tough,its for the better only when the addiction, becomes so hard and causes suffering will a person decide to stop gambling and Bring about change
@mg43i8s0te u hit the nail on the head this is the truth has i was actually that person the issue however u can change as a person this is one thing not addressed on here if someone serious about recovery first step is admitting to the problem second step is blocks its a no brainer and third step is seeking help for the addiction as it a tough addiction mistakes can happen however their should be a limit changes need to be made i dont believe i made it 750 days without a bet if i wasent serious about quiting the truth is temptation will always be their and urgues can come its my duty to not give in if i know their a probability i could relapse then i need to avoid then to risk it and am sure most addict are similar it could simply be a case a friend putting a bet on even though u had no intention thats enough for me to relapse so i avoid getting myself in such situations
Hey
The thing about gambling is that it will make you lie, beg, borrow, steal. It'll be your best friend and worst enemy all in one. Relationships should be built on trust and truth. Tell him the truth that you know and want to help. My partner has helped me through my darkest hours. If he wants to quit he will. Just tell him you'll help him download gamban on his phone, gamstop, sense, there are banking apps that freeze gambling payments. If he's brave enough go to a GA meeting..
Good luck xx
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