Hi

Yep, I know the feeling, I get more worried about him being inexplicably grumpy than I do anything else, he tells daft fibs, like how he tried to phone home while he was out with his mates, but I do 1471 and no one has called, it's mostly drink that brings out the fibs, but I feel it is a slippery slope. What do I do? Change PIN numbers, check statements, reassure myself that I am safe, there's nothing else to do really, he can't reassure me because if I think he's hiding things then I don't believe him. I don't do much housework during times when I get suspicious, I get selfish and spoil myself a bit, don't know that there's anything else I can do, just look after my own happiness and ride it out.

Hi,

If you smell a rat that's probably because there's one there. But you don't know, for me, that was the worst. When my common sense told me that all was not well but he denied it.

First time round I got half measures and lip service whilst the gambling continued unhindered. This time he was exposed and as far as I know, he is in recovery. So he goes to GA and we have barriers, blockers on the computer, I control the finances and he manages minimal pocket money, I open his financial post, I access his on line banking, I check his credit reports and notified his bank that he won't want credit or loans, and I made sure that he is permanently self excluded from his websites. Hard work but it provides reassurance for me, nothing's certain but it wouldn't be easy for him to gamble behind my back. And I hope that GA will encourage him not to try. He has a non Internet version, so that's one thing I don't need to worry about. But the point is, he knows all these measures are necessary and he cooperates with them.

All of this is very different from first time round. But I sympathise with you, I would want to check up - you can't rely on what he says - and if he won't let you, in my experience that is because there is something to hide

BW,

CW