How do you move forward?

I've never had someone to support me. I lost money, and everyone who knew about it only insulted me and self-asserted themselves at my expense. I lied to my friends and parents about what I was doing and what was happening to me, I was very skillful at hiding my addiction. I had weeks where I had no money for food, I smoked, ate stale bread and barely got out of bed. I became a millionaire twice and twice lost every penny in casinos and betting. I took out loans until my credit rating reached the point of no return. Bandits calling themselves debt collectors threatened my parents and my parents' parents. Now my situation has improved and I manage my money more wisely and have a decent income by the standards of my country. And although I can't say that I've fully recovered, I still have a lot ahead of me, because I'm only 20 years old. I am trying to overcome my addiction and it helps me a lot to think that there are people like you who are willing to help family through the hard times and hardships. Please know that what you are doing for your husband is not stupid. I don't think you are an idiot and no one has the right to think you are an idiot. The fact that your husband is disappearing is probably an indication that he is very embarrassed to admit to you that he lost money again. When you lose money even though you promised yourself and your family a long time ago to quit, it's very hard emotionally. Maybe you should take some time away from the situation and spend more time with yourself.

I don't think your husband would want you to sleep badly, not go anywhere, and only think about money all the time. You already do a lot for him and I think he is grateful for that. If you have in your head the thought “So why doesn't he just stop playing, since he wants to fix the situation?”, then keep in mind that ludomania is probably the most complex of all addictions and that a person can snap for no reason even when he wants to fix everything. Do not criticize your husband, but also do not take responsibility for his actions, take time for yourself. In this way you will improve your well-being and your husband will probably feel less pressure, which will allow him to take steps to correct the situation. As for the pressure you are facing, know that you are doing the right thing. Yes, you may have conflicting feelings about this situation. Yes, perhaps in the eyes of your friends, you have every right to leave your husband. And I won't deny that you have every right to do so. However, you should not be ashamed of helping a loved one deal with such serious issues. And believe me, no intelligent person will think you're an idiot for recognizing your situation. I hope that my words will give you strength and calm you down. Remember, you are not alone.

@tr385pdjqs Thankyou for taking the time to respond. You are right, I must make time for myself, whilst still showing my husband that I want him in my life. We can only take one step at a time. One day at a time. 

Your story is a sad one. You are still so young. Do you have your family around you now? Do you feel positive and strong enough to continue to rebuild your life? Again, you can only take one step at a time. One day at a time. 

As with any addiction, admitting there is a problem can be the biggest hurdle. I truly hope you can succeed. 

I feel foolish too for staying, I’m not too sure what the right thing to do is. It’s all very overwhelming. Children, a home & standing by your partner make it all very difficult. Living in the reality of it all is hard. Not sure I’ll ever get the trust back with him; or get over the hurt of being lied to.