how to help my sister?

basically

my eldest sister has a gambling addiction and it is starting to cause her serious problems.

because now she may be evicted from the flat she currently lives in because she is in arrears.

she has a full time Job

but isn't keeping up with paying her rent.

it seems that the money she earns is used to pay off her debts and therefore she has little left to pay her rent?

so she has been using our elderly mum for financial handouts.

the last hand out she got was £500

but my mum doubts that she used the money to pay off the arrears on her rent?

and likely used the money to gamble and buy alcohol and cigarettes?

she is a long time smoker and is known to have a taste for alcohol.

this is a 50 year old woman

and so it is difficult to understand how a adult woman could mess her life up like that?

I would understand if she was unemployed,

but she isn't and therefore it doesn't make sense that she should be in such a mess financially?

I know wages remain low for many people

but she shouldn't be in such a mess and be owing money here there and everywhere.

I feel upset that she accepted £500 from our mum

even though it is understandable that she accepted it if she is truly in debt?

but I think that she needs to stop and get professional help

and little by little try to sort herself out and pay off her debts?

when I have spoken to her in recent times she has carefully hidden behind a front of "oh I'm ok"

but I didn't believe her and after hearing that she is on the verge of being evicted

I feel I was right to doubt her.

Ive been in debt,

I had a alcohol and drug addiction problem.

I was also addicted to cigarettes.

but with the help and support of good people

I started to address my problems

and now those arrears and addictions are gone.

it wasn't easy of course

but I won and I think that if my sister tried she could win Too.

but unless she accepts that she has a problem and stops kidding herself and keeps going to mum for handouts and bailouts she will never conquer her problems.

in fact I reckon her problems will conquer her.

its happened to far too many people

for her to think that she will somehow get by without hitting rock bottom.

I feel so upset with her

but at the same time I feel sympathy because she has long shown herself to be weak and prone to making unwise decisions in life.

I personally believe that the first step to her problems was when she started smoking.

and that then lead to alcohol and eventually it lead to gambling.

and that has lead to her going with a begging bowl to her elderly mum.

she should be ashamed of herself.

I want to believe that she is.

I believe that each unwise decision we make leads us to serious problems even if it takes a long time for them to be manifest.

the money my sister spends on cigarettes and alcohol and gambling

would be better spent on paying her rent and other basic bills.

she has got herself tangled up in so many things which drain her financially and the smoking of course drains her physically

and the day may come when her much abused body gives up.

its so sad to see a person self destruct like that.

It stresses me out cause i'm her brother

and she should be able to talk to me but she doesn't and when she does she just hides the truth which upsets me all the more.

I recall the last time I was at our mum's house and my sister was there and I could see that she wanted me to leave because she knew that she was there for another financial handout

but she didn't want me to see.

but I already knew cause our mum has long told me about her always coming for money and when she doesn't get her way she starts swearing and cussing and leaves in a temper.

she seems to be detached from the reality of what is happening?

our mum isn't obliged to look after her anymore

after all my sister is 50 years old.

she should be looking after herself by now.

not bothering our mum for money while she wastes her wages on cigarettes and alcohol and gambling.

I'm sick of hearing about the stress she is causing our mum

and I think it is just a matter of time before I decide to confront her and have it out with her once and for all.

she won't like it

but its for the best cause she can't carry on like this.

our mum is elderly and in really poor health and she shouldn't have to be giving her 50 year old daughter £500 to pay her rent arrears!!!

my sister should have some respect not only for herself but our mum and even me her brother

cause I'm also affected by her reckless attitude.

anyway I would appreciate some advice.

Thanks.