Is my partner an addict

Hi

I wouldn't normally reply to this type of topic because I am a compulsive gambler in recovery but what you describe resonated with me so much. I'm not going to go on to make any judgements or tell you your husband is an addict but I can suggest a few things

I've not been fully present with my own family. On my phone all the time, Dodgy deals beyond belief and the guilt manifested in buying lavish things telling my partner it came from gambling which at the time it did. For years she might or might not have thought I had a problem but accepted it for a peaceful life. If confronted I would cause an arguement which I am ashamed of now but in addiction I didn't see that. All I thought is that it was my money and I did not realise the amount of time I was losing, the harm I was doing to other and myself. One thing is for certain, apart from a very few people, no one makes money from gambling. Some can be responsible with it but many like me can't ever place another bet. Unfortunately and again I don't want to say he is, that topic above could have been written last year by my own partner with exactly the same wording. It really worries me that you have called yourself clueless and I hope you aren't blaming yourself. Any way

1. Click on the icon on this page that says speak to someone. Then you can either ring the number or use the text chat to speak to an advisor. Let me assure you there is no judgement on this site. They are experts and can help you and point you in the right direction. It sounds like you could do with speaking to someone like minded people which they can help you with

2. I took out numerous accounts in my partner's name's and loans. This is the bit that worries me. For me the only reason why I did that is because my monthly limit across around 60 online accounts was used up. He might have done this however to get bonuses so please don't worry yet. As long as you don't gamble yourself and don't want to then you can go onto Gamstop and self exclude yourself for up to 5 years. This would stop him using your name and shut down all your accounts. 

3. I presume you have looked up Experian or clearscore to check you have no loans or credit cards you don't know about ? I would suggest doing this every week from now on as it takes 5 weeks to appear on these. You can also see searches for credit if you don't already know that

4. On your equipment, again if you don't want to gamble at all, you can install Gamban on your phones and laptops. That won't stop him using his own but will block all gambling websites. It's free via this website.

In all honesty I would speak to the advisors as they are the experts and I hope he isn't an addict . You obviously need to talk to him without confronting him. He needs to open and up and tell the truth. Everyone can change but it has to be for themselves. I am a work in progress and always will be but I am the person I always was now, underneath after 44 years of compulsive gambling and I am here 100% present for my partner and children.

I would love to hear how you get on and good luck

Hopefully one of the harmed others peer supporters on here will reply soon so keep looking at your post on here

Stuart

100% gamblimg addict i would recommend getting him the book Mite bite by Patrick Foster sadly he on the denial stage and needs jump starting before it starts getting worse i think you can start watching recovery chanels for addiction and learning about how u can approach best sadly when i was at that stage i wasent ready at all it took me possibly 2-3 years to realise i had a problrm some people realise it straight away others can take take decades only advice i would give you dont be harsh with him because he wont see it as a problem

Hiya

How have things panned out so far ?