Hello,
Some background information, I am 26 and my partner is 24, been together for  5 years, we have a 3 year old son.Â
I noticed a message on my partners phone about a loan and ended up finding out he has taken out multiple loans, was borrowing from family, was gambling heavily and after speaking and checking my savings jar he has also stole £2,000+ cash from me and my sons jar.Â
He was devastated, embarrassed and said he has felt so ashamed of himself and although angry I understand that this is addiction and he is not well so I want to do my best at supporting him to get back onto his feet again.
We have been at my parents living for 3 years since having our son to save money for the house etc and I am so gutted that I have been sat here with my half of the mortgage deposit ready to go for so long while I have been none the wiser of his real income and this addiction that was going on. It’s a complete break of trust but I would like to hear if anyone has been in my shoes before and what you done and experiences with gambling addiction.
I'm worried that he will relapse and start gambling again. Thanks, KM
Hello there, you come across as a very caring unselfish person.You have to understand whilst its good to be a caring person, you must take care of yourself too. its good for yourself respect without it we become nothing.if you become someone who is there just for others you lose who you are and needs you have.I am old man and i give you my advice I have been gambling 50 years hgamblers are liars and are good @ the art of deception . i believe your boyfriend has shown remorse which is why i hope it works out for you. But in life if a Paerson has no remorse make sure you get away as far as you can and above all protect you and your child. merry christmas best wishes
My partner spent the past 2 months of our rent money at the casino and now we are being evicted. I thought he stopped going because he told me he self excluded. I was lied to again. I'm done, but I have nowhere to go as I depend on his wages to survive. My wages don't allow for self sustainability unfortunately. I feel lost, abandoned, and helpless. No family to fall back on, and friends that I do have can't afford to help. So take my advice, if you don't mind being lied to, drained, homeless then stay with him. Gamblers only think of themselves all the time. They don't care who they take down their destructive lonely path. Good luck to you.Â
Â
Found secret loans from my husband 8 months ago and he ran off to his mums in denial and I've not seen him sinceÂ
im now divorcing him as he is a pathological liar and in complete denial but I'm just coming through this as it's been horrific.
put yourself and your little boy first as my children have missed out massively over the years and the odds of gamblers stopping with help is minute and still a hard battleÂ
hope you've had a good Christmas and sorry  you're going through this xx
Â
@xawe2nr917 I hope you ok , I got a text to end things a month ago cause he was gambling again I’ve been heartbroken, reading your post has made me think twice about wanting him back , I truly hope you get sorted and are ok x
Oh my life, I have signed up today for support as I am in this exact situation. Found out about my husbands gambling (well debt first) as I saw signs that I saw back in 2018. Back then it was so bad through gambling, we had to secure a loan on the house - £30,000 in total. I worked my a*s off and supported him to clear it. We have now removed the charge from the house with a small unsecured loan and money saved (a small blessing). All bills are all and have always been up to date throughout luckily. I have now realised he is £20,000 in debt again. There are so many cash withdrawals for gambling and a few online bets too. The one night he was away, £350 was withdrawn. He says £320 must have gone in the gambling machine but is vague. This was used out of the £1000 I transferred him for our family holiday deposit which we put on his credit card - we have always put purchases over £100 on credit card but paid straight off for consumer protection. This was me thinking there was no balance on his card as everything is always paid off the following month. So that now needs to be paid off his card along with the other 19000 spread over 3 cards. I work and save so hard to buy nice things for our family making sure we can afford everything. Over the last year, we have brought a new fridge, and other house bits totalling £3000 all of which I saved the money for, but he put them all on his card and was drawing out money i transferred him to pay this off for gambling machines in the pub and online bets. I feel such a mug and so betrayed as he has not only "stolen" money I saved for nice things and experiences for our family, but he also let it get so bad again, we are going to spend the next 7-8years in debt when we should be finally free of his debt. I honestly feel like leaving but need advice on if I am liable for his debt first which would be a huge blow as we have a lot of equity on our house now so this would take a good chunk out. Sorry, it just feels so good to write this all down - you aren't alone at all. But I know now that the right support needs to be in place first as the point of nearly loosing everything is not enough to make an addict stop. Protect your house deposit at all costs - even give to your parents for safe keeping so he has no way of accessimg
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
