Hi all,
I recently found out that my partner has a gambling problem after he stole money from me. I learned that he has been gambling on/ off for over ten years and has even stolen money from an employer before narrowly avoiding prison time.
I made the decision to stick by him and try to help him. He repaid the money he stole from me as agreed. He has been receiving weekly support from gamcare however I recently found out he has stolen money again to pay off a debt (or was he gambling?!). I stupidly thought that things were improving however figured out he was lying when pushed.
He is adamant that he is not gambling and I cannot see any obvious evidence of this on his bank account. He did however take a large sum of cash out after payday and I cannot account for where most of this has gone. His gambling before as I understand it was all online and he rarely goes anywhere without me (and works from home) so I do not know when he would have been able to to somewhere to gamble.
Since finding out about the second theft I am really struggling to come to terms with it and had fully intended on making him move out (the property is my own). I am also facing pressure from family members who have been supportive that I am much better off without him. Whilst I agree - I do love him. Whilst I don't want to lose him I also don't want to upset my family.
I just feel embarrassed that it's happened again and honestly I don't know whether we can come back from this. I am waiting on having some support from gamcare myself but I didn't know if anyone had any tips on what I can do to try and move forward.
Hi @6gwd15j83b
This must be a nightmare for you, try not to feel embarrassed, it isn't your fault. Your partner has an addiction that displays destructive behaviour and impacts lives, ultimately your partner has to take responsibility and put the dedication and effort in to recover. If he is seeking help that is a positive sign, however the journey ahead is a long one... When I was going through my worst period of gambling, i exhibited similar traits to your partner. It's taken me 5 years of for me to get into a place that feels like recovery. If I wasn't given a second chance I don't think id be in the position, however it's ultimately up to me, I can't relapse again as I can't expect to be forgiven a 3rd chance from my family.
@oranje01 thanks, how did you go about dealing with your partners family members? Did they know and were they supportive?
I completely understand where my family members are coming from they knew and were willing to accept the first time he did it but now its happened again its making my relationship with them complicated.
He's said I can be in control of his money for the foreseeable future but it's difficult to know whether he will find a way around this.
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