I am the wife of a gambler. We are both young , I am 26 and he is 35. We were ok until the gambling destroyed everything. It’s been some time now, about 1.5 years, I am coping with it, I learned how to prioritise myself and looking after me. That what he does should not affect me. I learned how to have strong boundaries and use all my energy on me since I tried so hard to fix him and the relationship. We were doing even some couple meeting with a a charity that help gamblers and their families. But that went terribly wrong, and disappointment after disappointment I simply lost hope. The I am now able to see that he kinda follows a pattern. Like we would argue over stupid things because he is very angry and get triggered over nothing and then I’m sure he will go gambling. He is also alcoholic apparently. Well he is fine witouth drinking but the moment something triggers him he runs drinking and gambling. He has debt, he had to go trough lots of shame because everyone in his family and my family now knows about the addiction, still he doesn’t stop.  What triggers this? Why can he not stop? I’m sure he is able to see how bad this is affecting everything around him
Hi @Niky,
Welcome to the forum. Thank you for being so open and honest about your experiences. It sounds like it's been a difficult time for you managing your husbands gambling, but it sounds like you also have been trying your best to put some of the focus into you and your wellbeing - which is really important in this.Â
I'm sure you will receive useful insights from other members of the forum community, but just to say that you can speak to us on the helpline anytime, we're open 24/7 and can talk what's been going on through with you, including arranging 1 to 1 support referrals if this is something you'd like.
Our helpline number is 0808 8020 133, we also have a Whatsapp and live chat service you can message through.
Please do get in touch, we are always here to listen and support.
Best wishes,
Phoebe
Forum Admin
Hi Niky
I'm from the other side of the street where your husband walks but I guess I'm walking down the middle of the road now. I really do feel for you. As I'm sure you know, no one can give up unless they want to. With myself, I've realised that gambling was my solution not my problem. The problem was with me and that's what I work on every day. I had many triggers to lure me away to gambling rather than facing life. Loneliness, low self worth, immaturity, stress, anxiety and many more.Â
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
