Sigh, here we go... again

Trust your gut, dont shush that inner voice, listen to yourself 

Naturally as wives we want to believe the best and trust that things are improving. These are the men we building a life with, the father of our kids, protector, provider, man of the house...

It is the hardest thing to accept that they are battling with addiction. 

2 months ago i thought life was finally looking up. We had a roof over our head, food on our table, water, lights, it was bliss. Someone had taken it apon themselves to help us while my husband repays his debt. All he had to do was repay his debt and everything else would be taken care of. 

All seemed well, he was in work more often,less tantrums, more involved with family. I mean when you get the type of life saving help we got, u cant be anything but grateful,  right?

Wrong. 

Previously i mentioned that for the first time my husband gave me a 3 month bank statement.  I was thrilled because this was a big step. He always refused because something was always up. At last, he held to his promise. Perhaps i was too excited to notice what was actually happening on that bank statement. I also mentioned previously that he paid another woman's rent, im too ashamed to even speak. Turns out he was borrowing money from her, aswell as another women, on countless occasions. 

It would also turn out that he edited the bank statement given to me. He made it appear as though he was repaying debt but it was in actual fact bets placed!!! The ache in my heart is beyond my own comprehension. 

All these months i believed he was getting better, but nothing has changed. We are only gone deeper down. He never stopped! 

I feel betond foolish because my gut told me something was up but i wanted to believe otherwise. Iv asked countless times if he was stoll gambling,  i just wish he would've spoken up😭😔😔 i would've done my absolute best to help him.

Above all that, we also lost all financial aid, which included housing and groceries. 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔  

Im at a complete loss for words. Overwhelmed by emotions.

I do not know what else i can do for him but this feels like it. I cannot take anymore. He refuses to get professional help. I told him about gamcare but he is not in the least interested. 

I honestly dont know how to help him.