Hi everyone my last post was so long I thought I'd create a new one!
I just need to vent at how inconsiderate my husband is being, and that's putting it lightly.
He completely ruined mothers day by being horrible then he disappeared all day. I then got a text at night saying he was drunk ( he also had the car). He'd been in the bookies all day and said he'd even 'treat' himself to the casino. We've been in this scenario before when he gets wasted and threatens to kill himself. Usually I cave in but this time I told him to sort himself out and stay away until he was sober because the kids were asleep, two of which are poorly atm.
He turned up banging on the door and when I refused to let him in he was screaming and shouting to the street that i'm an unfit mother, a s**g and everything under the sun. I was mortified and my neighbour had to come out and check on me. He banged on the door and threw things at the window and woke the kids so in the end I was bullied into letting him in. When I did let him in he continued to threaten me then passed out on the sofa. I am so so angry. He's such a bully! I'm having nightmares and not sleeping well at all. I really hope the councillor will help.
Hi GemLou89
He is out of control. Personally, I would have been quite happy to ring the coppers, and have him spend a night in the cells.This is out and out abuse. Just because it's not physical, doesn't make it less so.
I would be interested to read what Pangolin thinks, but speaking for myself, if I was in your position, that would be the final straw. I would imagine that the kids were terrified. Why should they have to go thru this?
I think you said in an earlier post that you were seeing the counsellor on wednesday? If that's the case, perhaps it might help you if you try a phone counsellor in the meantime. You're going thru a lot, and I think you need help from wherever you can get it.
As always, best wishes
Hi Wal1957,
He was messaging me all morning saying he's going to kill himself and then he switched again asking where I am and that if I've taken our son in the car without a car seat he's going to kill me (my friend has one in her car, I wouldn't risk his safety). I am literally at my wits end, im sat at my friends house because I'm scared to go home. I'm thinking about calling the police line and reporting it. I won't let him break me down, im with my friend and as soon as I get the kids from school im going to my brothers house. It's a living hell and I feel so trapped.
Hi GemLou89
He is really in a very bad place at the moment. That being the case, and given his outbursts of anger, I am concerned that he may be on the precipice of something that nobody wants to see happen.
Can you talk to a counsellor on the phone? Get some professional advice? Though I try not to,I would hate to steer you in the wrong direction, given his attitude and obvious instability at present. I am after all just a recovering CG, that is my only qualification. 🙂
Hugs from Australia 🙂 🙂
His mum has just been texting me trying to find out where I am, obviously for him to find out. She's not very helpful at all. I rang her last night to come round to help me out, she literally lives at the end of my street, but she didn't. She's helping him for some unbeknown reason. He's on some sort of rampage at the moment, she said he's driving around and that's all she knows. I'm not replying to her where I am.
There is no negotiating with him, he's on a one man mission and he's been having sly digs all week saying he's going to kill me. How can my loving husband turn into such a monster? I may try a councillor over the phone later. I'm just scared of what the day will bring because things change so quickly. I just want a quiet life with the kids, they don't need this it's disgusting. Do you think ringing the police would be a good idea??
And thankyou so much 🙂
Hi GemLou89
I just read another thread where they say the Gamcare Helpline is freephone 0808 8020 133, 8am to midnight, 7 days a week.available 24 hours. I think you should ring it now. explain the situation. I am sure they would have far more experience than me in this situation.
For me, looking at what's happening from a distance... I wonder what he is doing... "He's on some sort of rampage at the moment, she said he's driving around and that's all she knows"..... I wonder if he is driving around looking for you. That does concern me.
I would definitely give the Gamcare Helpline a call. If you can't get thru to them, then a call to the local police station wouldn't go astray. Given that he hasn't done anything, I am not sure what their response will be, but it can't hurt to let them know what has been going on. He really does sound as though he is going off the rails.
Take care 🙂
Hi GemLou89
Found the following under Gamcare Support and Counselling heading...
The GamCare Helpline provides confidential advice, information and emotional support throughout Great Britain to anyone experiencing problems with gambling. Call us on freephone 0808 8020 133, 8am to midnight, 7 days a week. Our team of Helpline Advisers are ready to take your call.
How did you go with the telephone counsellor?
I called and the lady was so helpful and compassionate. I feel a little better and able to face today. I've come home and he isn't here so that was a relief. My poorly little ones are having a nap in peace and im having a cuppa. Thankyou for the help, sometimes I get lost and don't know which direction to go. You have been a brilliant support for me and my kids and it means more than I could put into words 🙂
Hi GemLou89
Happy to know that you feel a bit better. Keep that number handy.
Bedtime for me now 🙂
Take care
I will most definitely and goodnight 🙂 xx
Just a quick update. We had a major fight again last night which was awful. When he left I just messaged him to say I couldn't carry on like this and I just wanted him to be ok for the kids and for us to at least be civil. He agreed he was going to and he's taken them to school and for some new clothes today. It's worrying though as his good mood is only based on the fact he won a bit at the casino last night. I'm sure it will all go backwards when he has nothing again. I asked about him seeing his councillor and he blatantly said he doesn't want to stop and that him going on the bookies depends on if I P**s him off or not because it's my fault. I didn't rise to it because I'm 100% into bettering the situation for my kids. He is well and truly a lost soul again.
Hi gemlou89
I just want to say that if I was you I'd keep things the way they are at moment being civil for the children and him being a father to the kids. I'm going through something similar to your hubby but not as bad as him. I split up with my fiancee and have 3 kids to her and wee decided that the best thing we can do was split up and me get help for my gambling and other things. I was taken my anger out on them for my silly mistakes when I was down With losing my wages. I've been away from my partner 5 month and was with her for 8 years. I've been so selfish the firest four month drinking alot not spending time with the kids gambling more. But recently I've manged to see the light and get the help I need. I've been spending more time with my kids and I'm getting on well with the ex. Long may it continue for me . Lol but yea your hubby seems pretty much like he is in a rut atm and defo needs help! He will blame his current gambling on you. As you have asked for the split.he will be on a healthy guilt trip soon trust me just hope he sees the light and gets his act togher before he loses you for good. Don't rise to him that's what he wants just concentrate on your kids and if he loves you he will get the help he needs .Good luck stay strong
Hi Stephen, well done on your road to recovery! 🙂
My husband is Jekyll and Hyde and his moods have been so strange today. I don't know whether I'm coming or going, he says one thing then does another, he's nice then aggressive...I'm confused!! The guilt trips are already beginning and my mood is low atm so I've been trying to ignore him for fear of caving in. I have the councillor tomorrow so im hoping she will shed some light on the situation. He's been out to the casino every night and he said he's staying at his mum's tonight which means the casino again. It's heartbreaking to watch but at the same time I hate him for it. I'm focusing on the kids and hopefully he'll come around to the idea of being a good dad instead of focusing on getting me to take him back. He's blaming me for the relationship breakdown too, he can't see anything wrong. I need a holiday! Lol.
Wow. That's all a bit much isn't it.That's abuse. Yes I would have rung the police and I'd probably have moved back to my Dad's for a while, just so if something more serious happened, I would have someone else around who would ring them if I had doubts. I dont have many options open to me other than that, so it's hard to imagine what smeone else could do.
How internet savvy is his mum? Perhaps you could drop her a note asking her to look at the threads here, not just the ones that involve you. It's a terrible situation for a parent too and he will be lying to her quite relentlessly too, atleast then she will understand why you need to make a run for it of you have to, I imagine she will be who he would turn to and she will be on the receiving end of the anger quite soon after.
Remember strength is not just measured by what you can endure....and you have been so strong, but sometimes its about being heard, making decisions, showing your kids what they should and shouldn't tolerate in a relationship.
We recover ourselves so quickly, just enough to take some more abuse, the most vicous of circles, it cant go on.
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