My ex partner has had a gambling problem for many years and we broke up 6 months ago because it got so out of hand - he lost everything, spent all our joint savings and we had to leave our flat.
We are no longer together but i still love him and worry about him a huge amount. He now says he has his gambling back under control, he still gambles but in small amounts and he is in control of the problem because he is happier now. Can this be true? I still worry he isnt facing up to the full problem because he doesnt really want to stop!
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Hi,
Your first thread in March was interesting.. "He has stopped GA and says he is fully recovered"
.. Hes still gambling though....
leave him to it... If hes trying to win you back run a mile..
Might sound harsh but he clearly has no desire to want to change.
Simple fact is that someone with a gambling problem either makes attempts to change their lives (and that cant be just saying - im cutting down) or stay an active gambler. An active gambler with a gambling problem will go off the rails at some point - its inevitable. It could take as little as a bad day at work, an argument with someone. Boredom, anything really... It WILL happen!
Hi,
He isn't facing up to the problem because he doesn't want to stop. Sorry, but recovery isn't about a cure, it's about making a permanent commitment to doing everything it takes to go into recovery and stay there ie barriers, GA, etc.
Tough love, don't listen to active gamblers's nonsense and don't let him drag you down with him.
Best wishes
CW
Thanks for the replies, I wish I could make him see that he needs to get real help and not try to do this on his own. I am at my wits end I don;'t know how to help hm anymore I really don't.
The problem is precisely that you can't, no one can, the desire to change has to come from him. You can help him at that point - if it's not too late for you but he has to want that change more than he wants the next bet.
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