What do I say to the kids??

Haven't been through similar, but I do believe in honesty. Their daddy has an illness, that makes him gamble, makes him spend too much money. Mummy is worried, gets scared, wants him to stop spending and to get help, but it is not easy for dad. It is nothing that they have done, nor mum, it is something within dad, but it can be sorted. No matter what happens they will be alright. Mum and dad love them. Grown ups have things that upset them, just as they do, sometimes things are hard to sort out, but mum and dad are working on it........just my thoughts. The truth may be less frightening than what they are imagining. And maybe if it is a conversation you can have as a family, presuming your husband acknowledges that he has a problem. Best wishes.

Sorry duplicate post

Thank you Rhoda that makes sense I just find it hard to put it into the right words for them. I'm too emotional about the hurt and damage he has caused. He works 24/7 to pay his debt yet we have nothing and I don't know how to explain it to them whilst still protecting him as I don't want them to think badly of him (more for their sake than his to be honest). They have heard too much recently as we've argued a lot since this latest gambling and debt has come to light. I know it's partly my fault, I'm so angry with him. I doubt we could sit down as a family I think he is still in denial. He has been offered counselling by a friend who offered to pay for CBT counselling but he won't go. He continues to bury his head in the sand and i feel like I'm going stir crazy with it all. Thank you for the advice I really appreciate it.

Gam care can arrange counselling free of charge...he wouldn't then feel indebted to his friend. Will he go to GA meetings? He would get support there. You need to safeguard your finances, as if he is still active he will not be thinking of you and the children. Look after yourself and the kids first. What about you contacting Gam care, you may also benefit from counselling. Can you get back to Gamanon to get you support and advice? Best wishes.

He won't go to counseling or GA. I've rang the helpline today and they offered me counselling but couldn't really advise what to say to the kids or not which is my main concern at the minute. I go to Gamanon when I can as it can sometimes be hard to get a babysitter. Thank you

Maybe just a chat then with you and the kiddies...untill dad is ready to face up to things..
Words of reassurance to them that the rows there hearing are not there fault...that they can ask you any questions if they want to....i think for children to try and understand addiction at that age is a bit much to ask...maybe you could say ..mummy and daddy are worried about not having much money at the moment...that's why were shouting at each other so much ..it's a difficult one isint. ..you know your children best love...but I would echo other posts...protect yourself and your fiances. ..if he's not willing to face up to things and not prepared to go to any form of counselling....I'm doubtfull he's ready to try and stop...good luck..I'm sure some other wife's in your shoes will be along soon to support you

Thank you. I had a chat with my daughter along those lines . Excepy that I said daddy has been careless with money which was why I was so upset. then reassured her. Really appreciate any advice this is so hard. Hate them seeing me angry and upset it's not fair on any child. 99% of the time I can keep it in

Hi StressedWife, I have nothing constructive to say with regards to how to tell the kids I'm afraid but what I will say is get all the help you can!

I grew up in a household of addiction, learning from a very early age (stepping over the drunk on the landing, using the wall as a pillow, on the way to school) that drink was bad...Sadly the same cannot be said of gambling & thus I embarked on 3 decades of destruction!

Please look after you & your precious babies because he isn't going to whilst he's got his head in the sand!