A nation of gamblers

Hi there 🙂 

It's always a quite heated discussion on here as regard's to who's responsible for what and one which I've witnessed many times over the last few years . 

From my point of view as a Compulsive Gambler I can empathise greatly with what you would like to achieve in bringing the gambling companies to book and if that's what you truly want then I wish you well in your quest . 

I spent many years , at least 40 odd seeking the same and  blaming other folk for what I'd become and on a losing run it would either be the Jockey , the trainer , the stable lad , the  greyhound owner , the track , the going , the steward's the Fobt machines , the punters stood alongside me   and of course the biggest of the lot " The bookie " ....."Robbing b********d's " I would cry as another screwed up betting slip would land on the floor just past the bin that I missed and that would be their fault as well :(( . 

But do you know what ?.... The one person  I would never blame was always your's truly , everything was always willingly  done and without anyone pointing a gun at my head as I'd go back for some more   ......another round in the ring with more body blows raining down until that " Sick in the pit of the stomach " feeling would return just like it did most day's  where it all ended in exhaustion but still no blame in my corner  ?.......... 

It took me many years of wondering why I would still rock up everyday with a fresh wad of £20 notes in my pocket but where before only a few hours earlier  I'd vowed " Never again " ? ............Well, it did until the day I stopped doing it to myself that is  and when clarity returned.... and the only reason I came up with was of one word " REVENGE " ? ???? ....... All those years wasted simply because I couldn't just for once " Let Gambling Win " and just walk away but it stand's to reason right that when I'd gambled all my life trying to beat something I could never beat , that I would never allow it to beat me ? ....... and that's all that kept me trapped in that cycle of addiction for all those years. 

In a long winded reply to your post I guess what I'm trying to say is that , would it not be better for  you and your recovery if you stopped looking to lay blame and or seek compensation and just let it all go ?? ..............

Please understand I do mean that with the greatest of respect and with no judgement  and admire your resolve in trying to right a wrong but I do ask   " Would you seek the same for a Pub chain that turned you into an alcoholic or a fast food chain that caused to to become morbidly obese" ? ............  ...     . Not all people are Compulsive gamblers , alcoholic's or overweight  and whilst I understand that the betting companies do make everything so attractive to entice you in with free offers and such but it's no different with the other businesses that I mentioned above but that's exactly what they all are " Businesses "and just out to make a profit ?. 

As I said this is not about judgement for what your trying to do , just merely a mention that it's you in the here and now that you need to look after rather than the old you in the There and then .. 🙂 . 

Best wishes 

Alan  

Hi MyStruggle19,

Have you tried attending your nearest GA meeting, the recovery program there helps us take a good honest look at ourselves and our behaviours. The gambling industry will take what it can but we are the ones that feed it. The UKGC does need to crack down harder but that is out of our hands. 

We need only worry about what we can affect and change. One thing we can certainly change is our own actions and behaviours. It may not be easy but we can do it if we are truly open and honest. 

Although you have been a 'functional gambler" as you put in terms of paying bills and keeping the family ok financially, you still have robbed them of something far more important, your time and attention. Most people who arrive at GA for the first time are there as they hit rock bottom financially and the money and debt is the main worry, but once they start digging down into their behaviours they realise that the worse things they did was the way they behaved around loved ones, the web of lies they created, the time they wasted and the trust they destroyed. 

Gambling is like legal stealing.  They sell it as entertainment but it’s not.  How entertaining is it to loose thousands?! Only to the owners who laugh at us, I’ve poured ten years into thinking the same as you.  It got the point 2 weeks ago I was on verge of a breakdown.  How is that entertainment? Gambling is a business, they have a house edge plus a million!! You give them £10 they let you win £20 then you’ll put £20 in and you’ll loose it.  So you put more in the vague hope of recompense.  Trust me I’ve lived that scenario a million times!! I’m sorry for what your going through.  It’s very very tough but step number one is to realise the only winner is the business.....until I found this forum of course.  

Take care x 

Posted by: MyStruggle19

Hello

I have been gambling since 2002. I have gambled and given-up and gambled again more times than I can remember. I would call myself a functional gambler, but an addict all the same. I have self-excluded from nearly every remote gaming company available, betting on horses, football, virtual racing and casinos. I never let my addiction c*****e my family nor let it inhibit my ability to pay the bills but I would waste every last penny of my disposable income on it and increase my credit just to feed the habit. I feel I have now turned a corner, partly because I cannot gamble online anymore but mainly because I noticed how badly it was affecting my mental health and my life in general. I lost my focus on the things that mattered to me most - my family, my job and my ability to think with clarity. 

In the end I was angry and frustrated at how these companies exploited me and how lacklustre the regulator is in protecting the gambler. I discovered that gambling companies are contravening the gabling code by not paying back any outstanding balances to the gamblers account once self-exclusion had been initiated. In some cases companies were abiding by the law, but I spent some time contacting all the companies I had accounts with to ask what the remaining balance was and if they had reimbursed me. In one instance a company had withheld £172 of my money, and only realised when I prompted them and cited the Regulations. This made me feel even angrier but at the same time gave me a new focus - to fight for tighter regulation and protection for the gambler. I have spoken with the Gambling Commission and they are investigating but I don't have much hope. 

Best regards

MyStruggle19

I'm so sorry to hear about it!:( But I completly understand you because I have the same problems with gambling.