Hello, my name is Ryan, i am 20 years old and i have a gambling problem.
I have had this problem ever since i turned 18 to be honest, it all started when my pal told me about this 'system' he had for those 20p roulette machines in the bookies, i didn't think much of it at first but i won 30 a day for a few weeks running and started to believe the system was actually true, but unfortunately one day it didn't go to plan and i was 50 down and started chasing losses, putting 50-100 on red/black etc and before long i had lost all the money i had won in the previous weeks.
Then i started getting into poker, watching it on tv, learning how to play etc etc, i became a really good player playing online every night winning quite a decent amount of money, my gambling problem has never been anything to do with poker, so i will skip that part.
But one night about a year ago, i decided to have a little shot on the online blackjack/roulette games - this is when i started losing control again, chasing losses before i knew it my 10 loss was down to a 100 loss then a 200 loss, before eventually losing 850 in one night (which at the time was the amount of money i had won playing poker)
I self excluded myself from a lot of sites, but always seemed to find a way to keep gambling, i built my bankroll back up again from playing poker, but tonight it happened all over again, i was chasing losses playing blackjack and eventually i was 300 at one point before managing to get back to break even - at this point i lost control completely as i couldn't stop, i don't know if it was greed or something but i felt as if i was possessed - i wanted more money. Of course i ended up losing the lot, another 500 down the drain.
I don't know what to do really, it's hard to explain how difficult it is for me to get help or anything because no-one knows what i'm really like as a person. I do not want to work for a living, i've spent 20 years of my life never having to lift a finger, getting everything done for me etc and i don't want that to change because i would get depressed. I thought poker was my way out, try to make a living from playing it but i can't do it if i keep losing all my winnings.
I can't tell my parents about this or anything - i never tell them anything to be honest. I'm just incapable of ever telling them any personal stuff about myself, i don't know why but it's just the way i am.
I'm terrible at explaining things like this, so i apologize for any confusion about my explanations, i think the best thing to do is to ask me questions and i will try to answer them to make this whole story a bit more understandable. But the main points to the story are that i'm a gambling addict, i'm 20 years old still living with my parents who still pay for almost everything, never wanting to move out or get a job become independent or anything like that because it will just depress me, i want a happy life lol, but i can't keep continuing like this before i know it i will lose my entire bankroll.
Hi Ryan - To be honest, after reading your post I would venture to say that you have more than a gambling problem. You say that you are 20, still living at home (well that's not a bad thing in itself) but basically living off your parents and not wanting to work because it would depress you. WHY? Do you have any qualifications - do you not have any ambitions in life? It may seem a long way off, but your parents will not be around forever and then what?
Perhaps the depression has already arrived and that's why you feel so diffident about doing anything for yourself - I know that clinical depression can make you just want to stay in bed, but you are obviously able to function enough to place bets, use your computer etc. If you are suffering from depression then the first thing to do is to see your GP - you don't have to involve your parents. Getting some sort of help is vital if you are to make any progress.
I assume that the money you use for gambling is obtained from your parents - do you think it's fair to waste their money in this way. No doubt they have had to work hard for their money - do you disrespect them that much to chuck it away?
I know these words may seem harsh, and to your credit you have joined this site in order to give up gambling. That's great.
Coming to this site and reading other people's stories will help you understand the destructive effect gambling has on people.
But at the same time I do feel that you need a kick up the **** (in the nicest possible way) so that you start to take a really hard look at your life and where you are going with it.
You have the gift of youth on your side - don't waste it.
Joanna
No i don't have any qualifications or ambitions in life, the only motivation i've ever had to do anything is play poker to be honest. I can admit i'm a lazy ******* who would like nothing more than just live an easy life forever, as i hate anything that requires effort/commitment and responsibility. My mum will never chuck me out or anything, she will always provide for me until the time comes where she is unable to do it anymore - which i'm sure isn't long off anymore - a couple of years left maybe. Basically in a nutshell, adult life just isn't for me so i try to make my life as easy as possible to keep myself happy - which i have done for 20 years.
I wouldn't say i'm depressed right now, i like my life as it is right now but when the time comes when i have no choice but to change my ways then i will definitely become depressed. But like i said it is probably a few more years yet before i have to worry about that, and i'm the type of person who doesn't worry about things until it's time to worry.
I don't even know what a GP is to be honest, never mind knowing how to see one/where to see one etc lol.
The money i used for gambling was obtained from the money i had won playing poker. My mum does pay for almost everything except a couple things - my poker/gambling and beer. I'm a pretty good poker player if i say so myself, built up a decent bankroll starting with just 100 about 2 years ago, but the only problem is that i keep losing most of it because i can't control myself on other forms of gambling. I mean last night, i was down like 500, i deposited again and managed to win it all back but i still couldn't stop, it was like i was possessed or something. Don't know if it was partly greed as well but i eventually lost the lot because i just couldn't stop even though i won my losses back. It's happened a lot of times since i turned 18 but last night was only the 2nd time it happened where luck didn't bail me out.
I'm a pretty terrible human being - i can admit that. The way i live my life is absolutely shocking, and a lot of people don't like me for it. But i don't really care to be honest as it is my life, and living like this is keeping me from being depressed for now. I hope i explained everything properly, apologies if it's difficult to understand.
Ryan, Ryan, Ryan - words fail me. But here goes: You may well be a good poker player, but you are a rubbish gambler! On here we are not 'good' gamblers because we can never keep our winnings - we win, we lose, we win, we lose etc. etc. Welcome to the club - you are beginning to realise that your 'luck' is not real and never will be.
Next - you are not a terrible human being. You are young and have not had enough life experiences to get your thoughts in order.
Blimey, some of us on this site are old enough to be your grandparents and we are still struggling, so you do have an excuse!
But I really feel that you must take some responsibility for your actions and try to make changes in your life. You say that you are happy with your life, but why then are you seeking help here? I think deep down you know things have to change, but you don't want to admit it to yourself.
That's natural - it has taken some of us years to admit to this destructive habit. All I am saying is that you need to do something before you find yourself on that downward spiral.
You are only 20 - you cannot envisage being 30, 40 or ancient as I am, but believe me, the years whizz by and before you know it you are collecting your pension.
Come on! Do something!
Your virtual grandmother,
Joanna
I am happy with my life right now, I have the easiest life imaginable, no commitments or responsibilitys just the way I like it. The main reason i'm seeking help is because I don't want to lose all my money and be forced into having to get a job. If it wasn't for the 24 hour time limit for depositing last night then I would probably had lost it all - I was going to put the whole lot on red or black and just pray I won. But as I wasn't able to deposit I still have about 1000 to my name so I suppose that buys me some time lol. It's the same with other aspects in life as well - i'm too lazy/unmotivated to get a girlfriend as I hate commitment and effort so i've been single for 7 years. Also the fact i'm quite an unhealthy person is due to the same reasons i'll be dead before I turn 40 at this rate but even knowing that doesn't make me want to change at all as i'm so stuck in my ways.
Hello Ryan,
First of all respect to Joan, for trying to help and give you advice to do the only right thing in life.
Yes you have a gambling problem, this is quiet obvious,
But you don't asked for the way out off it, but for how you can make your (actually your parents !!!) funds last longer.
If you don't understand what Joanna tried, more patiently I ever would be able to, to explain to you, then you really need to ask your parents, why they never have told you about life.
We are here because we want to stop gambling and we try to help each other as good as we can.
And poker is gambling !
Wolfgang
They are actually my funds, my parents don't pay for my poker or socialising etc but they pay for everything else. I don't have any pride, and to be honest i couldn't care less - the way i live my life right now is how i wish to live it for the rest of my life, it's ridiculously easy. I did say i'm a pretty shocking human being - i can admit that, but i do think my own happiness is more important than anything else, hence why i decide to live like this.
Don't really know why i'm on here, guess just to get some advice on how other people dealt with their addiction/problem and see if anyone's advice would help me out in a way, but i highly doubt it because i'm just totally incapable of changing the way i am. Poker is like my only chance i have of living a happy life forever, if i make a decent income from it which i have been doing before losing most of it all on blackjack/roulette because of my problem then it's all good. I'm not going to quit playing poker, no chance, it's my life i play it like 40-50 hours a week.
I am a disgrace to society, i've always known that but i'm a pretty emotionless guy - i couldn't care less what anyone else thinks of me lol, if it was possible for me to live off benefits and never have to work a day in my life then that would be perfect for me but obviously i can't. I'd rather be happy than depressed, i'm sure other people would want to be happy as well.
Anyway back to my gambling problem, i just wish i could stop getting the urge to play casino games and lose all my poker winnings there, when i should be concentrating 100% fully on poker. Blackjack is just so addictive especially, and once you lose a bit it's so easy to keep losing and start chasing losses which is what always happens in the end, last night i just couldn't chase my losses because i ran out of money my luck had finally run out.
Hi Ryan.
You're attitude would certainly repulse many people, but I'm not one to judge.
All I'll say is that poker is by no means a source of income. A tiny percentage of people make money consistently by playing it and they only make money because they're sponsored by poker companies and are either paid for advertising or their tournament fees are fully funded.
Poker has become very popular by creating the sham that people can get rich by playing it. Like all types of gambling, it's very difficult for the majority of people verging on the impossible. Especially for people like ourselves who are addicts. You will never win in the long term. Ever.
Good luck.
Ryan throughout my years as a compulsive gambler I used to go to a bookies and do pretty well on the horses. But I couldn't wait for the horses I strongly fancied, I had to fill the times inbetween races with more bets. I used to kid myself that if I was more selective and could stop the dogs and virtual bets then I could win. But it never worked because I can't control my gambling and never will be able to control it. You are the same you can't control your gambling because you have the same problem as the rest of us on here. Win all you like on poker, but you won't see any of it because it will go back on the roulette or black jack as you seek faster ways to get your buzz. The only way to win is to stop gambling.
Even if i did manage to somehow stop gambling altogether then i would have no idea what to fill the void with, all i have ever done for the past 3 years or so is eat, sleep, drink, watch tv and play poker/gamble. I don't really have any other interests/hobbies.
You are so negative Ryan, try and think about what you can do and not what you can't. You can clearly use a computer and if you are good at poker you must have a sharp mind and be good at maths. So why not register in an IT course at college, or one that you can do from home. You could fill your free time educating yourself further.
Yeah, you've seem to forgotten the fact i am a lazy good for nothing ******* who completely refuses to do almost anything that requires even the slighest bit of effort/commitment lol. There's no chance i'd ever want to spend any time educate myself further, i have no qualifications or anything as it is anyway.
To be honest i'm not that bothered about the fact i have a gambling problem, i'm more bothered about the fact it's eventually going to stop me from living life the way i want to live it, and i just don't know how to deal with that really, if i ever had to even start looking for a job or become independent in any way, which i have no clue how to do, then i will instantly become depressed. Life just isn't for me, i've known that for a long time so that's why i choose to live like this, it's the only way i can live and be happy at the same time if you know what i mean.
Ryan, the title of your post is "advice needed," yet any advice that has been given has been met with negativity.
My final advice to you would be to consult your local GP and ask for you to be referred to your nearest psychologist. Like many addicts, your gambling habit seems to be covering a whole range of issues including a very low self esteem.
Good luck Ryan.
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It seems as though there is some frustration on this thread regarding the OP's reception of advice given, and in some cases this has resulted in attacking the OP and his motives for being on the site.
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Baggins- I have better things to amuse myself with than do that, I appreciate everyone trying to help me with their advice and whatnot but at the end of the day i'm just too much of a lazy ******* to do anything about it.
As for number 2, I am the complete opposite of overweight - i've been 8 stone for over 5 years now which is unbelievable really as I do nothing but eat junk food all the time and I never ever exercise. Again it's just laziness, I simply don't have the motivation to change as i'm just so stuck in my ways. Even knowing if I continue living this unhealthy lifestyle I will eventually end up having a heart attack or something as they run in my family(my dads side and i'm exactly like my dad) that doesn't motivate me to start exercising and eating healthily. As for number 3, i'm really not a smart person or whatever, fair enough i'm somehow able to spell words i've never ever heard of but that's it really, I use auto-correct for my grammar and punctuation lol. I guess it would be best to just close the thread then, it's highly unlikely i'm going to change no matter what anyone says on here, apologies for wasting everyone's time - i'm just totally incapable of changing.
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