My name is mark. I have been gambling since i was 18(so for about 15 years). It started off a few quid on saturdays on accumlators, i then moved to a new town with my partner at the time, where i had no family or friends and i started working at a bookies, though i saw the losses i only ever remeber people winning big, so not long after thst i started betting heavily a few hundred a day on anything, one day i spent a few hundred pound on lawn bowlsbecause it was the only thing i could bet on, i had no idea or ever watched the sport, i have had ballifs round chasing debts, i would start arguments on nice holidays with my ex-partner so i could have some time to gamble.
I am with a new partner we are married and have a four month boy, my wife has set up a joint account where my wages goes into as she knows my problems, i have managed to stop gambling the last few months and pay some debts off, i am getting more and more tempted and with the world cup coming up, its going to be hard, i just wanted to see if anybody had any reccomendations, i have tried GA before it never worked on numerous occassions i tried it, i am self excluded on numerous sites but there are always new ones. I promised my wife when my boy was born i was done with it, but there is so much temptation texts off paydayloan companies, post from credit card companies. I am sticking to my promise at the moment but am beginning to struggle so any advice would be welcome, my wife has her hands full at the moment and i dont want to add another worry.
What blocks have you in place?
I dont have any just self excluded myself from online betting sites when i lost money
Hi Mark and welcome.
There is a known stage where you know you must stop but are not fully ready to do what it takes to recover. I see in what you have written that the uncertainty is there and you would really like a bit of gambling in your life if you can just be a controlled winner
It doesnt work like that as we became hooked to possibly the worst addiction of them all
Recovery is a born again moment when you just know its the right thing to do. If you are still thinking that you need gambling in your life, the addiction works like a drug that you crave. I know that feeling...I know it very well, like a nervous lift or excitement that flows through the torso...the wanting to gamble..the edorphins the dopamine... the flutters in the chest...its all part of the urge to have another go...its all going to come right tomorrow....NOT!
What you do is realise you cant do this on your own. Get the bank statements out because they speak the truth....look at them and try and write down what you have lost. Every day on those bank statements and debts is a day when you thought you would be an easy winner. Every day in history that should have snapped us out of it but didnt .Focus on the real odds and what you could have bought your family with that money
Face the reality in what gambling has done to bring you to this forum. Its got more of that in store and you will sink lower and lower. The bookies/online casinos want your money and they are certainly getting it. They havent set it up as an income scheme for you and that should be very clear by now.
We recommend that you tell your partner everything and face your fears. You know that a non gambler is not going to be happy with it and that creates secrets delusion and lies
As compulsive gamblers we were not even being honest with ourselves. Although I was addicted to the feeling of playing part of my mind was convincing me that there was money there when I needed it. I will just win enough to top me up which is the mind of someone addicted to a mugs game.
There is no room for half measures because if you want to stop you cant play at it. Want to stop and you will stop with no access to serious cash other than a daily petrol and food allowance.This makes it easy to monitor you and spot any further signs of trouble. Self exclusions will only work if you are ready for them to work and do them properly. Are you ready because its not about treating you like a baby...its about saving you
Keep talking and get fully involved with the forum. You can treat this as a GA meeting in a way. I think GA meetings work when you are fully ready to let recovery wash over you.
Your promises must be backed by hard action. Willpower and promises are nothing when faced with an addiction this powerful
You win when you realise what is important in life and when you keep your money for important things
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Welcome macrook6
Thanks for joining the forum and sharing your story. Well done for staying gamble free for as long as you have, and for recognising that the urge to gamble is increasing and that you'd like to do more about it.
You asked for an alternative to GA. We offer free 1:1 treatment in most areas, and if you can't get to one of our locations we also offer online treatment, both small group and 1:1. Find out more at our website: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-treatment/gamcare-treatment
Poblwc mentioned blocks - you have self-excluded from the sites where you lost money but as you know it is easy to set up accounts with different providers. There are a few steps you can take to prevent this happening. For example you can install apps on your phone, tablet or computer to block gambling sites. You can get your internet provider to block gambling sites, and you can also join a service called GAMSTOP which is a multi self-exclusion service for online gambling. Over the next few months they'll have all UK-registered gambling sites on board so it's well worth signing up now so that over time, you'll be blocked from all UK sites as they join the scheme. Find out more about these and other self-help options at http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-advice/what-can-you-do.
We hope you keep posting and that you find this a useful source of support.
Best wishes,
Deirdre
Forum Admin
Mate Gamstop will save you you cannot bet online once you register forget self exclusions they don’t work you Just change sites once you register for gamstop all your accounts will close and you won’t be able to open new ones
I third gamstop its good
Hello all,
Just a note about GAMSTOP. Here's an excerpt from their website:
"GAMSTOP currently includes a large number of online gambling websites, but not all. Later this year, all online gambling websites will be required to join by the Gambling Commission."
Best wishes,
Deirdre
Forum Admin
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