Hello GAMCARE community.
This is my first ever post, in fact I only registered around an hour ago. Have been clicking through threads, and identify with so many of the stories here. I would like to start by saying, thanks to everyone who's here and sharing. Together we will succeed, I know it.
Anyway, the latest installment to my story is that I have recently come clean about a relapse in my gambling habit. Though let's face facts, I had gotten to a point where I could no longer hide it (there were no heroics on my part to deciding to reveal this information).
I am now 6 days without a bet. I managed a whole week in mid February, with a clear and defiant resolve to stop, and confess. But as the pain of bottoming out after my "last ever loss" subsided, I found a way to dig himself a deeper hole. Saturdays are the worst!
There has been no greater pain for me in all my days of gambling (which is a significant number) than those few moments when my wife finds out, and I once again understand the emotional trauma that my actions have on her. It is soul destroying. That is currently my primary motivator to make this a FULL STOP.
This time does also feel different from an internal perspective though. I am resolved to let go of the past losses, and take GENUINE measures to change. I am now GAMCARE registered and have installed GAMSTOP. That is an all time first. One reluctance has previously been that I was admin for a group betting account with my mates, and I have had great support to now withdraw the balance from that and close it down.
I am 10s of thousands of pounds into personal unsecured debt as a result of gambling. It has probably set our life plans back by at least 5 years, probably nearer 10. I am filled with self loathing over it for a variety of reasons. But it feels genuinely cathartic to have registered here.
So I repeat, thank you to the whole community of people here who are helping. Especially (at this point) to the forum contributors who have taken the time to share their stories and thoughts. It is not an easy thing to do.
I wish everyone the very best with your respective struggles and situations.
With the Upmost respect.
Chris
Hi peoples, all lovely ones I'm sure😊.
I don't know but I've got try. I think mu gambling, spiralling debt, my decline of social skills has gone to far but an advert made me think I've got to try. Got to for my family, I can't leave them in the mess I have created. So people don't judge me too badly, I am a nice guy, I have a lovely family. There fed and clothed and looked after well. Not as well as they should be though. I work constantly to have the money to gamble . I've ignored bills and debts since my gambling went out of control in covid when my work died out. I'm not sure, I say every day I will open these letters and answer my phone but I can't face it, I can't deal with it. Its making me a shadow of my former self. I can't fix what I've broken on my own
Hi Tom, I hope you're ok.
I found myself at a similar point, ignoring letters and detatching myself from friends and family.
Those latest adverts from Gamble Aware are excellent. They are hard to watch, but they also show that there's light at the end of the tunnel.
I hope you can find your way to stopping gambling, and using the money saved to rebuild your life. There is plenty of time to do so.
I have no doubt that you are a nice guy as well. You have plenty of time to feel that way again. We've made mistakes, but we are not monsters. We are human beings, and flawed like everyone else. You've taken a good step by acknowledging that you want to stop and registering with GAMCARE my friend. Congratulate yourself for that! You have my respect for sure.
Very best wishes. I am brand new here, so I am sure others will offer their own advice. Scrolling through the threads on the forum is an easy way to see that there are many folks in the same boat. You are not alone.
Chris
Hi CJC
Welcome to the forum and sharing your journey so far which has led you to make this positive decision to sign onto Gamcare.
Opening up is a couragous step to not only change your life but your wife's as well. Well done also for installing GAMSTOP to stop easy access to online gambling.
As you quite rightly say, "We are all human and life can be very challenging".
I am a new Peer supporter Volunteer starting today with lived experience of gambling harm, so know it's not easy.
But with support from the community, help is never far away.
Patsy
Hi Tom
Welcome to Gamcare
Well done having seen an advert to reach out and join Gamcare and sharing your painful experiences of gambling harm. You have taken the first step in changing your life and your family's too, that is a difficult move to make. Thinking about how to change may feel a daunting task but there is so much help for you. You are very much not alone and the Gamcare community are here.
Please feel free to call our helpline on 0800 8020 133 if you would like some further help with your gambling harm.
Best wishes and once again welcome to the forum
Patsy
Hi CJC
Welcome to the forum and sharing your journey so far which has led you to make this positive decision to sign onto Gamcare.
Opening up is a couragous step to not only change your life but your wife's as well. Well done also for installing GAMSTOP to stop easy access to online gambling.
As you quite rightly say, "We are all human and life can be very challenging".
I am a new Peer supporter Volunteer starting today with lived experience of gambling harm, so know it's not easy.
But with support from the community, help is never far away.
Patsy
Hi Patsy,
Really appreciate the reply and the time you're giving to support the people here, including me. I hope your first few days have been rewarding, even if somewhat challenging.
It's been a solid few days for me. I still have no firm desire to gamble, but I'm only 10 days in this time, so the memories are still fresh, and that's keeping any desires to gamble that I might have at bay. I'm sure there are more difficult days ahead, and it's great to know I have this community to keep me strong when I'm feeling weak. I'll be sure to check in in those moments!
Best wishes to you, and to everyone.
Cheers,
Chris
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