Ashamed and Broken

Hi I am new to this forum and on day 2 of no gambling so not sure what advice I can offer you but I have read a few posts about a blocking software ( I think this is called k9) which blocks you from accessing gambling sites etc but not sure. Have you tried to attend GA meetings this could be something for you to look into. Hope I have been some form of help

Talking to someone is the best thing you can - family member, friend or partner. They will be probably be way more supportive than you expect them to be.

Thanks for your replies and support. I have heard of Software etc that can Block like BetFilter but the irony is that i think i'm wasting money purchasing these, even though its a fraction of what i lose. Also i have an iPhone Which causes most of the problems, i have K9 installed but i think you can simply go and use safari instead of the K9 Browser rendering it useless. I have previously spoke to GF and briefly family years ago but it didnt seem to help. With my GF it created such a severe fear of her grabbing my phone to check if there was anything on it and discovering something, even when i had taken a break for gambling. Even now, years on i have the same fear, even resorting to me not wanting to spend time together as i felt fear of being caught, also she failed to understand how addictive it is and said I 'could stop if i really wanted to'. In a quite bizarre twist i had contacted the betting company, just to chance my arm to complain that they didnt notice me breaching my conditions of a self exclude and they have agreed to refund the full amount of £1328.00. As i cant accept being this lucky until i see it in my account, i am sceptical. I wish i could bottle this feeling of how helpless i felt and dirty when i had lost that amount of money, yet i am afraid that i will simply relapse again 🙁 However at the moment i have no intention of it, yet, as we all know, it could happen again very soon 🙁

Hi Tenner, i am based in NI so not sure if we have meetings available. Also i would be too embarassed to be seen at these or going to these. Plus i live at home with parents who would be asking where i am going etc.

Hello, BrokenIrish,

Stopping gambling is doable, the help and support is out there but the committment has got to come from you. If you look for excuses not to change anything about your life and your gambling routine, then what do you expect?

Recovery is about your commitment to do what it takes to stop gambling. There's no magic wand, just the standard suggestions for change on the forum. Cash cards not Visa cards, not having access to cash or credit, self exclusion, blockers, a non Internet phone, telling someone, GA, counselling. Making these changes will make a difference. CGs in recovery do these things, you can too. If you want to.

Up to you.

CW

Hi broken, how have you been getting on since you last posted? Suzy

thanks for all the feedback guys. I have not gambled online since this however dont get me wrong, the tempation i am feeling today especially is huge. I am trying to distract myself yet i keep thinking, £20.00 wqont hurt etc etc. Its an awful spiral. I checked and there are no GA meetings in my area. I spoke to my GF briefly about it and she apologised as she now understands how addictive things can be

Well done for abstaining so far. However, the lack of GA meetings is very surprising, there is normally a good choice. Perhaps you might need to travel slightly further, possibly to Belfast but it is worth the effort, it will help you to deal with temptation.

CW

Hi Broken, well done for all your efforts so far. Have you ever heard of Dunlewey? They are in NI and look after all of Ireland. I got phone counselling from them & have to say it was the best start I could give myself. They can arrange meetings too but give them a ring and make a start. There are no charges, they know what you are going through & it is next to impossible to quit on your own. Let me know how you get on. Suzy

Hi I have heard many reports of self-excluded gamblers being allowed to set up new accounts with the firm they are self-excluded from, and if they deposit, win & try to withdraw , or even try to withdraw anything from their deposit, are told they cannot withdraw as they are self-excluded, & duplicate accounts forbidden ! So you really were on a hiding to nothing depositing such an amount, if you hadn't lost it all or even won some you would probably have been unable to withdraw it anyway ! talk about a bad bet ...gl with the refund.

The only solution for you is to report all your debit / credit cards lost at the bank(s), give the replacements to a trusted friend / family member when the replacements arrive, or just cut them in two & bin them, that way you cannot gamble online. Live on cash for at least 3 months (get cash from the bank with passport etc when needed). And look up ' impulse control disorder' at google etc & read up on it.