Hi. I’m currently sat in my living room while my partner and young toddler are watching the T.V. and I am completely gripped inside my mind and feel like I have to tell someone that I have disgustingly lost £2000 betting on in-play football today - in the space of 5 hours.
I feel absolutely dire - especially because before last weekend I had stopped betting for nearly 6 months. This was my 3rd attempt at walking away from it but found myself back doing it - starting with £300 and turning it in to £2100 over a few days, and then binned the whole lot today - betting £500 a time on odds of around evens to chase back the losses in failure.
I’m beside myself for having done this. I cannot tell my partner, she has always said to me the last time I did this that she cannot deal with me doing it anymore after having lost £1000 back then.
Luckily she has no idea about the betting I have been doing and I have been using only my own money (not the family/joint money).
I just need to get it off my chest that I’ve messed-up massively again and cannot feel anything other than utter disgust and shame at myself. I am suffering in silence and it has to stay that way. Has or is anyone else been in/currently in the same boat? Just knowing I’m not alone in having done stupid things like this would help
- Nomad
Hi nomad7
yea I was in same position as you but I dipt into my joint money with my partner after I blew my own money. The self hate I carried after that was so bad and the guilt I carried around with that was to much I was expecting my first child around this time it happend, so that hate u have for ur self at this time is exactly what I had.
i understand why u didnt want to tel ur partner cause u could lose everything I had to come clean one of worse moments of my life.
if I could give u one small bit of advice that guilt And shame u have got to remember that feeling, let that be ur strength to go forward if you ever get complacent remember that day how you felt,as no matter how much of a win u could get it will never compare to how much your family are worth to you.
stay strong hope things get better.
Good points you’ve raised. The bitter disappointment of letting my family down drives me to stop. I often think about the time I stole money from my family and that sick feeling I had whilst doing it. I never want to experience that ever again.
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I blew £10,000 in about 5 mins. Online roulette Was my passion. Come clean. Put all blocks in place and start having a decent life 🙂
Thank you for the replies, I really appreciate them. It’s really helpful reading them, and other people’s posts about their experiences on the forum.
I’ve managed to stay away from b****5 since posting, but the £2000 loss has been weighing heavy on me all day - especially because I have been torturing myself with what I could and should have spent the money on i.e. presents for my son, gifts for my partner, and of course necessity items...but it’s all just gone, and that’s what I’m finding hard to swallow. I struggle at the best of times to let things go - such is how my brain works I guess - but accepting that I’ve blown all that money and still just trying to push on with life and let it go is horrible.
Hey Nomad,
Stay strong. I know how you feel and I've been there. I've just lost the same amount over a week, and I feel like c**P. I think we just have to acknowledge that it's gone, let go, and move on... the emotional and mental stress gambling puts you through on the regular is just not healthy.
I wish you all the best, and lots of positivity!
Yeah this was me on September 1st - last time I gambled. I remember just talking to my family but really being completely vacant, completely ashamed of what I had done.
About 7 weeks in, and I keep reminding myself of the pain and despair of that day. I encourage you to do the same. Some time will pass and the thoughts of ‘maybe a little bet won’t hurt’. But you know it will. The scary thing with gambling is can always get worse. Think you’ve hit rock bottom now? You could lose everything.
Fingers crossed we can kick this s**t for good. All the best
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