being totally honest with your family

Hi Shelley, i too hid the truth from my wife, you are right. The best thing you can do is be open and honest, dont hide anything as it will only drive you to gambling to try and 'fix' the problems, it never works.

My wife told me its not the gambling that hurts, it was the lies that cause the pain.

If im honest i really struggled with a way to tell her and it was only due to being quizzed over a small amount of money that i opened up and told her everything. the thought of telling them is daunting and one of the worst feelings to have, but once its out in the open you will feel like youve been given a new life, it lifts a huge weight off your shoulders.

i couldnt really advise how to do it but your plan could be a good way to go about it, its a start at least, it opens a way to sit and talk and try fight your problems together.

Not sure if this helps but i hope it gives you the courage to come clean and start a happy gamble free life.

Regards Jamie

Thank you Jamie'

I know it is the right thing to do,i am not sure how he will react,but he deserves to know the truth.

Hi Shelley,

I just wrote a lengthly post on your other thread but somehow lost the bl00dy thing! So will try again.....

I told my wife EVERYTHING about my gambling addiction in Feb this year. At the time I was at "rock bottom". I'd tried to give by myself up as a new Years resolution but failed, then bet harder and lost much more in Jan16. I knew I had to tell her, I knew I needed help. I had debts of over £12K from 3 years of fun gambling turning into a full blown addiction.

It wasn't easy for me, I was a mess. She seemed to take it well at first then the following days came the Q&A sessions that were bound to follow. I was happy for these, sat there with satements and on-line credit card accounts she never knew existed. Think we added another £4K to that debt from other things like repayments, dips into ISAs, loans. So getting everything out on the table is the place to start, don't hide a thing! She couldn't handle me not being able to answer simple questions like " why didn't you stop after your first big loss?" Non-gamblers minds are not the same as ours. Yes, you both need to decide how the debt is to be paid off, there's various ways. Then of course and probably most importantly what action of help are you to take. I went to GA meetings, a place where you meet people from all different backgrounds of life, all sharing the same addiciton. The best decision I ever made. I highly recommend GA! Don't knock it before you'vetried at least 2-3 meetings. My wife agreed to the GA option, I attended 2 meetings a week for thefirst 90days of my recovery. This has set a very solid foundation to my recovery, one of which I couldn't ever have done alone.

So do as I did mark coming clean as the start of your recovery, leaving any stone unturned at this stage is only going back-fire later on.

All the best. Let us all know how you get on.