after abstaining for about 3 months I have fallen off the wagon so to speak, I stupidly felt I didn't have enough money to last the month and panicked (in reality I was fine and had enough). I stupidly bet £280 in a bookmakers not on my high street where I had not physically gone in to self exclude, I actually won around £750 and banked it the next day Stupidly I fell into the trap the next day by registering to an online casino and then proceeded to lose this money, plus another £300 on top I feel so sick and stupid with myself, I tried 4 times calling the gamcare phone line and left messages to call me back so I can be self excluded from all betting shops which I believe is a newish service, frustrated I was not able to do this as I would not have gone to the bookies in the first place. Fortunately I have £7k of savings which I have entrusted to my sister for the time being and pay her some money each month to add to my savings so at least I have not blown the majority of my capital, I will just have to live a meagre existence for the rest of this month. I am fortunate I had already paid all my bills and rent this month, but just so sick after 3 months I have fallen back into bad habits and the grip of this hideous addiction or compulsion. I have now cut up my credit card so at least I can not use that if tempted online, blocking software is not great for I pads and very easy to remove if you feel an urge. I just wanted to share my frustrations with myself and the pain and distress this has caused me and thank the Lord I have the foresight to give over to my sister my savings as I am sure in time I would have blown that
Hi guy sorry to hear of your relapse,I to fell off the wagon this week but after beating myself up about it and feeling awful I tried to look at it from a different angle. I now know a couple of triggers and will try to avoid them I'm also going back to counselling as I never really got off the ground with it and I'm contacting a debt management charity regarding my gambling legacy. So let's look at your case and take the positives, you were 3 months gf,you didn't touch yous savings,your making the correct step to self exclude. These are all positives. Maybe you should look into counselling and also keep posting on here I find it's a great source of advice and helps your morale. What happened to you was a bump in the road. It'll sting at the moment and you'll feel stupid but you can beat this! I wish you well in your recovery,one day at a time.
Thank you, yes your right it does sting at the moment and I feel terrible but I did put steps in place and didn't touch my savings, it was just my money to last the month for day to day expenses, I do find alcohol makes the urges harder to fight as was the case yesterday, and I have just started CBT for anxiety which also is a trigger for gambling / escape, I find any win is just a loan from one bookie to another as you will eventually lose it. Thankfully I have an understanding sister who has hold of my savings. I was looking online to see if I could find a basic bank account with a cash card only and not a debit card, but no joy as this will prevent me from depositing online
Ah the understanding sisters! I have one as well lol I find alcohol doesn't help either but if I'm drinking then I make doubly sure I can't do any damage and only have limited cash on me. It's very much baby steps and pocket money etc which as a grown man is pretty disheartening but it's where I'm at and if it helps conquer this addiction then bring it on. I'm tired of this whole addiction and just want to live my life. It's time to step up to the plate and kick it into touch!!!! Do what you've got to do mate because we know it'll only get worse. Try not be to hard on yourself and do some thinking over the weekend. We can't win because we can't stop! All the best
Ð’Â "I find any win is just a loan from one bookie to another as you will eventually lose it" ...i'll take that quote and bank it in the memory bank. Perfectly summed up. Find it hard on saturdays especially as that was beer and bookies day!!
Dont be too hard on yourself guy..you have had a wee reminder just and hopefully it will sharpen you up and keep you on a good way on future. Thank god for your savings...your in good shape financially and many of us cg's are deep in red and so will you if you don't stop.
All the best
Without those key blocks you will relapse Guy74.
Weigh it up again and talk to people. Your family need to be clear that if you have any money you are likely to gamble it.
Feeling slightly flush is one major trigger point. If you are likely to remove blocks you have a strong addiction.
It does take strong measures so you have time to think and breathe.
You cant blame gamecare and look for those sort of excuses. Its you and how you are inside. There are contributing factors like depression and an emptiness which I fully understand
The gambling industry are out to tempt you and get you hooked...I fully understand that.
Its time to step it up...you need to get the message over that you need more help and more blocks.
Thats the key point..."you cannot believe" Its an illness and mind control beyond all rational thought which is why you cannot believe what you have done. trouble is you mind will make you do it again and again given the chance
You need top read more about the mind control part of the addiction.
I will be materialistic to hammer it home. Ive just bought a new telly box and blu ray player.My money is mine. Im calm and I enjoy buying nice things. I cant believe I ever gambled as I did
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
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Good posts everyone. Thanks, well at least on this relapse I had all my bills paid before blowing my money and I had already sent my sister over £400 this month as I am sure I would have blown that to
Day 8. Not wanted to gamble at all. Living on just £10 a day till end of month is tough, I know the damage gambling can do and can strike at any time which is why it is so important to have measures in place such as not having control of my savings and self exclusion
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